


100 Cheesy Destiel Love Situations

by angelofthequeers



Series: Daily Drabbles [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable Castiel, Angst, Asexual Castiel, Banana porn, Blow Jobs, Bubble Bath, But he enjoys sex, Car Sex, Cas is God's favourite, Cas is a badass, Cas loses control and babbles in Enochian, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Cause that's freaking hot, Cheeky Castiel, Cheese, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Has A Wing Kink, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Needs Castiel, Dean Needs Love, Dean can't say 'I love you', Dean needs lots of cuddles, Don't fuck with Oreos, Drabble, Enochian, Fluff, Foreign Language, Frottage, God's not letting anything happen to his OTP, Homophobia, Hugs, Lingerie Kink, M/M, Massage, Metafiction, Nesting, Nesting Castiel, Panty Kink, Praise Kink, Protective Castiel, Romance, Sassy Castiel, Showers, Skinny Dipping, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, So he says 'I need you', Sunsets, This calls for divine fanfiction, Wing Grooming, Wing Kink, dirty prayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 102
Words: 75,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6104364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthequeers/pseuds/angelofthequeers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have finally gotten together and God's not going to let anything happen to His OTP. If He has to devise a series of lovey dovey situations in order to ensure their undying love then that's a sacrifice He'll just have to make. Rated E because some situations are quite NSFW. Updates daily!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. God Has Had Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Welcome, old readers and new ones, to my new daily drabbles! I had to end 'Moments' because I was growing tired of that universe (and giving Dean and Cas kids really restricted me) but I've really enjoyed writing little drabbles every day. I walked past a book the other week called '1001 Romantic Things to Do' (or whatever) and the idea for this fic began to grow, though I took these prompts from online rather than spending money.
> 
> Enough rambling. I hope you all enjoy the first fic of my new series: 'God's List of Romantic Ideas'!

**1\. God Has Had Enough**

God could have cheered. Finally, after years of hints and subtle interference here and there and subtext as bright as neon signs, Dean Winchester had finally plucked up the balls and told Castiel how he felt! Seriously, how many times did God have to resurrect His favourite angel before Dean finally got the hint?

But God knew that just because Dean and Castiel were together, this didn't necessarily ensure that they would _stay_ together. Dean was still emotionally constipated and the day Castiel understood anything more than the most blatant of hints was the day that Hell froze over. He had a very strict non-interference policy ever since ditching Heaven but…well, He had already been sort of interfering, hadn't He? Bringing Castiel back could be easily explained by the angel being His favourite (and it _was_ true. That little angel was easily the best out of the lot, what with that stick up his ass being largely gone), so maybe He needed to step up His game.

"I can't believe I'm resorting to this," God sighed, tapping a key on His computer to bring up a website. "But after all the crap those two have been through, I'll be damned if I let them mess this up and destroy what they have."

This wasn't really divine interference. He wasn't messing with their heads or influencing their emotions or anything like cupids were wont to do. Just…creating a series of circumstances designed to bring Dean and Castiel closer. That was it. The sort of stuff that could happen to anyone. And hey, these would be their ideas completely!

God frowned at the list that popped up on the screen. He nodded, closed down '100 Romantic Things to Do With Your Partner', brought up a blank document and began to write.


	2. No Correllation Between Suns and Cheese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I'm writing this as I wait for the newest episode to buffer and OMFC GAY WINK TOTAL BI DEAN ALERT ASDFGHJKL

******2\. Watching the sunset together**

"Hello, Dean."

Dean jumped and whirled around. Cas was standing behind him, a small smile on his face. Dean's heart fluttered at the sight; his angel (yeah, _his_ angel. So what? He'd already gone gay for the dude so a cheesy nickname couldn't hurt) hadn't smiled nearly as much before they'd gotten together. But he was still annoyed.

"Hey, Cas."

He turned back around, leaning against Baby. He could feel Cas' frown boring into the back of his head.

"What's wrong, Dean?"

"Nothing."

His heart began to race when Cas leaned against the Impala next to him. He almost didn't take Cas' hand when it brushed against his but, even pissed off at his angel, he couldn't help but lace their fingers together, the sensation bringing him peace.

"Don't lie to me, Dean. I can feel the tension in your muscles. Not to mention that your heart rate is increasing, as is your level of testosterone, while your level of cortisol is decreasing. You're angry at me."

"Heart rate's not going up 'cause I'm angry," Dean muttered. Cas tilted his head, his resemblance to an adorable little puppy sending a jolt of something straight to Dean's stomach.

"I notice that it also increases when I am around. Am I affecting your health detrimentally? Or…"

Cas squinted at Dean.

"Your testosterone level also increases when you are sexually aroused. Is that it? Do you need me to assist you, Dean?"

Okay, now something was _definitely_ happening to him.

"What? No!" Dean spluttered. He'd only been going out with a dude for a week now! He wasn't just going to throw away years of sexual prowess with women and jump into bed with a male angel! "I just – dammit, Cas, I'm pissed at you!"

Now Cas looked hurt and confused. Something heavy and ugly settled in Dean's gut.

"Why? Have I done anything wrong, Dean? Tell me what I've done wrong so that I can make it up to you."

"This was supposed to be a road trip," Dean mumbled sullenly. "For the two of us. That's why Sammy stayed behind. And you kept skipping out on me. If you don't wanna spend time with me, you just need to tell –"

Cas quickly silenced Dean by leaning over and pressing their lips together. Dean made a surprised sound, which was muffled by Cas' mouth, and raised his free hand to cup Cas' cheek.

"I want nothing more than to spend time with you, Dean," Cas said firmly. "I just thought that it would be more convenient if I was to wait until we were at our destination to meet you. Car travel is horribly slow."

Dean blinked.

"What – Cas – that's the point of a road trip! You're supposed to stay in the car with me and we listen to music and talk and drink and do all that road trip stuff!"

Cas' bright blue eyes seemed to clear.

"Oh. I think I understand now. It's the journey that matters, not the destination."

Dean snapped his fingers and pointed at Cas.

"Bingo. Supposed to be 'good bonding' or whatever. I thought you could take a break from Heaven and all those dicks – that's why I suggested it. If I'd known you'd hate it –"

"I don't hate it, Dean. I love spending time in your company. I simply misunderstood the intention of this trip. Of course I'll stay with you."

Dean grinned and pulled Cas in for another kiss. How the hell could he have ever had doubts about wanting this angel?

"Now that that's outta the way, what do you want to do?"

Cas turned and stared at the setting sun, a soft smile touching his lips.

"I haven't watched a sunset in two millennia. It's very peaceful, isn't it?"

"You can't be serious," Dean said. "Watching the freaking sunset? That's just the cheesiest chick-flick thing to do!"

"What does cheese have to do with a sunset, Dean? How does a star compare to a dairy product in any way?"

"Never mind, Cas. We'll watch your freaking sunset."

"Dean –"

"Just do it. Don't make me regret it. I never watch the sunset with anyone."

But even if he couldn't sacrifice enough of his manliness to watch the sunset, Dean could still watch Cas. His angel's eyes were glued on the blinding ball sinking below the horizon, still smiling contently, and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around Cas' waist and pull him back against himself. Cas immediately hugged him back.

"You're right," Dean said, still looking straight at Cas. "It _is_ pretty damn peaceful."

"Dean, you're not even watching the sunset. You haven't taken your eyes off me."

"Well, you're way better-looking than a sunset. You got a problem with that, angel boy?"

Cas just shook his head in reply but Dean didn't fail to notice that his smile widened, or that he seemed to glance at Dean a little more than the setting sun.


	3. Cas is a Total Water Hog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Timeline? Let's just say an AU S6 where Sam's soul was never left in the Cage when Cas brought him back, Raphael was taken care of with a Hand of God (won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen S11 but seriously, if only they'd thought of that idea five seasons ago!), Purgatory wasn't opened and Dean realised that he wanted Cas instead of Lisa and remained good friends with Lisa and Ben.
> 
> Also, this chapter is mildly NSFW. Nothing really happens except nudity and light touching but nothing too explicit.

**3\. Take a shower together**

"I call first shower," Dean announced, dumping his bag on the bed.

"I don't even need to shower, Dean."

"Right. I forgot. Force of habit from road tripping with Sam."

He turned around to see Cas frowning.

"So…showering is a normal custom for road trips?"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Showers are normal for everything. We reek if we don't shower. Course, you don't have that problem, being an angel and all."

"Are showers pleasant?"

"Hell, yeah. Nothing like a hot shower after a long day in the car – that is, if the hot water works."

"Then maybe you could show me how to shower."

Dean blinked.

"It's simple. You take off your clothes, turn the water on…"

He trailed off at the look that Cas was giving him: his familiar 'are you really that blind, Dean?' look.

"You're hinting, aren't you?" He grinned widely. "You naughty little angel!"

Satisfaction filled him when Cas' cheeks stained pink. He'd never seen the angel blush!

"Since you always exit the bathroom with no clothes after a shower, it seems obvious that you take your clothes off before taking one. And I thought…it might be nice to have you close to me with no clothes on. It's something that I often imagine. I thought that you would appreciate a hint, since you are often very suggestive towards me."

Blood suddenly rushed south. Dean shifted as Little Dean began to perk up and say hello.

"Didn't know you were that dirty, Cas," he forced out.

"I'm perfectly clean, Dean. And if I was dirty, I could – oh. Dirty also means of a sexual nature, doesn't it?"

Dean grinned, took Cas' hand and led him to the bathroom. After closing the door, he turned around and grabbed the lapels of Cas' trench coat.

"First step of showering," he murmured, brushing kisses along Cas' jawline. Cas groaned and closed his eyes. "Take off your clothes."

He tugged the trench coat and suit jacket off, leaving Cas in his white shirt, blue tie and slacks. Wrapping the tie around his hand, he yanked Cas in and began to attack his lips, eliciting a strangled sound from the angel that was swallowed by the kiss. Clearly unsure of where to rest his hands, Cas finally settled for grabbing Dean's leather jacket and trying to pull it off, though this was quite difficult when Dean was also undoing his shirt buttons.

"Lemme help," Dean chuckled, breaking the kiss. He shrugged his jacket off, then let Cas undo and take off his plaid shirt before returning to Cas' shirt. Something jolted in his stomach when he stripped Cas of the shirt and tie to reveal his angel's chest and then, as though he was on fire, he quickly pulled his own T-shirt off and worked to rid Cas of his slacks, shoes and boxers as fast as possible. While Cas stripped Dean of his jeans, boots and his own underwear, Dean couldn't take his eyes off his angel. This was the first time he'd seen Cas fully naked and all he could do was stand there and drink in the beautiful, breathtaking sight before him.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Cas said worriedly once Dean was devoid of clothes as well. Dean just shook his head.

"You're gorgeous. I dunno why I was ever scared of being with you because you're just so freaking amazing. Inside and out."

The smile that spread across Cas' face was one of the brightest ones that Dean had ever seen on him. He cupped Dean's face and drew him in for a long, sweet kiss that left Dean lightheaded when his angel finally pulled away.

"You are also very beautiful, Dean."

"What – no! Don't call me beautiful, Cas! That's just girly."

Cas frowned at him.

"You are beautiful, Dean. And it is only human society that has designated certain adjectives gender labels."

"Well, I'm part of that human society, remember? Just…no beautiful."

"Very well, Dean. You are magnificent. Stunning. Exquisite. Ravishing. Irresistibly alluring." With each word, he gave Dean a short kiss. He then raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching. "Heavenly."

All of his discomfort at the glowing terms that Cas was using to describe him melted away instantly and Dean couldn't help but double over with laughter, clutching Cas' shoulders to steady himself.

"You – dammit, Cas, you're hilarious!"

Cas smiled, obviously pleased with himself.

"We're undressed, Dean," he said when Dean finally straightened up, his body still shaking with laughter. "What do we do next?"

Dean crossed over to the shower and turned it on before fiddling with the taps.

"Step two. You turn the water on and adjust it until you've got the temperature you wanted. Some motels have crappy hot water, so don't be surprised if you can't get it as warm as you want."

Thankfully, this motel's hot water was as excellent as possible for a crappy place off the road and it didn't take long for the water to warm up. Dean stepped inside, relishing in the hot spray that kneaded his scalp and back and trickled down his body, and he grinned at Cas.

"Step three. You get in."

Cas carefully stepped into the shower and Dean moved aside so that his angel could catch the water. Cas tipped his head back, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, and Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and rested his chin on his angel's shoulder. Cas was right; the two of them, naked in such proximity with hot water raining down on them to slicken up their bodies, was one of the best feelings in the world and he wished that the hot water wouldn't run out eventually because he just wanted to stand here and hold Cas close for hours. Speaking of hot water –

"Hey, move your damn ass and let me get some hot water too!"


	4. Magic Fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I stayed up till nearly 1 this morning finishing off a follow-up chapter to 'Broken', so go check it out! I'm really happy with how it turned out! I also updated 'Collection' and I wrote another oneshot called 'Movie Night' (CHAARRRLLIIIIEEEEE).

**4\. Massages**

"I thought that the purpose of a road trip was to 'relax' and 'have fun'," Cas said as Dean stripped out of his jacket and shirts and collapsed onto their motel bed, groaning loudly. Rolling into Alexandria, Louisiana, was supposed to be fun and idle, full of nothing but drinking and watching crappy daytime TV and seeing the sights and lazy making out at night, but when Dean had found a case, neither of them could resist.

"Yeah but you can't ignore the call of duty," Dean said, rolling his shoulders to work out the kinks. "Son of a bitch, that poltergeist was nasty."

"Are you in pain, Dean?" Cas was by his side instantly, sitting down and reaching out to give Dean that 'healing touch'.

"'S okay, Cas. Nothing I haven't had before. Comes with the job."

"I can –"

"I'm fine. Don't waste your mojo on this."

Cas retracted his hand, frowning as though deep in thought. Something seemed to clear in his face but before Dean could ask what his angel was thinking of, Cas was already urging him to turn onto his stomach.

"Didn't know you were that eager, man, but I think I'm a bit too beat for that," Dean chuckled as Cas bent down to give him a sweet kiss. Cas straddled his hips and then fingers dug deep into his shoulders and began to knead. Dean let out a loud, almost dirty groan.

"You're awesome, Cas," he slurred. Cas leaned down and kissed him again, still working his muscles with those absolutely heavenly hands.

"I'm glad that this is relaxing you, Dean."

"More'n r'laxin'."

They fell silent, Cas banishing every little ache and knot and kink in Dean's body and Dean doing nothing but groaning contently. That son of a bitch had to be using some of his grace because there was no way anybody could massage like that!

"Th'nks, Cas," he mumbled when Cas finished loosening the muscles of his lower back. Soft lips began to trail kisses all the way up Dean's back and now Dean was absolutely certain that Cas was cheating because how the hell could kisses send warm relaxation trickling through his muscles like that? Once he reached the nape of Dean's neck, Cas left a long kiss and then climbed off him to pull off his trench coat, suit jacket, tie, white shirt and shoes before taking off Dean's shoes for him.

"I love you, Dean," Cas murmured as he slipped under the covers and threw an arm over Dean's back and shoulders, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Dean tensed. Why did Cas have to pull out that word? He couldn't say it back! He did love his angel – he did! But he couldn't –

"Cas –"

"And I know that you love me too, even if you can't say so yet. It's okay, Dean. I can feel it in your actions and I know that you'll say so when you're ready."

All of the tension melted out of Dean's body and he shifted onto his side with a grunt so that he could pull Cas close to him and bury his nose in his angel's hair, which smelled of ozone and thunderstorms and something else that he couldn't place but loved anyway.

"I'll get there one day, Cas."

Cas planted small kisses on his throat.

"I know you will, Dean."


	5. Cas Done Messed Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.

**4\. Cuddling in the dark**

"Can't tell whether you're tryna get into my pants or not," Dean murmured sleepily as Cas' hand brushed over his nipples, which jumped to attention. Cas chuckled, his deep voice sending shivers through Dean's body.

"Even if I was aroused at the moment, I know that you are still not comfortable enough to begin engaging in intercourse with me," he said. "I know that you have still not fully come to terms with the fact that you can feel lust and love for males as well – despite the fact that I am technically genderless – and I will not proceed further than you are willing to go until you are fully sure. I want you to feel as amazing as possible when we finally do have sex. And if I'm honest, I also feel unready to sleep with you at this time. I am still growing used to…all of this."

Dean grinned, though this went unseen in the dark.

"Dean, I know that my body's gender unnerves you a little. If it would make you feel comfortable, I am more than willing to take another vessel. I only want you to be –"

Before Cas could finish, a scowling Dean rolled over so that he was propped up on one elbow and kissed his angel fiercely. Cas made a small, surprised sound and kissed back.

"Don't you fucking dare," Dean growled after emerging for air. "I like _you_ , Cas. I don't give a shit about your body. And I happen to like your body too. You really think I'm that shallow that I care about your junk?"

He couldn't deny that he felt a little hurt at this. Cas must have picked up on this because he immediately cupped Dean's face and pulled him back down for another kiss, this one more tender.

"My apologies, Dean," he mumbled, pressing small kisses to Dean's jaw and throat. Dean closed his eyes, revelling in the sensation. "I know that you are not shallow. I simply wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible when expressing physical love towards me. I know that you love me and not just my body."

Dean smiled down at him and lay back down. His arms snaked around his angel's waist and he pulled Cas close to him, his chest pressed to Cas' back.

"And don't you forget it," he said, lightly kissing the nape of Cas' neck while running his hand up and down his chest.

"This position is nice," Cas said. "But I much prefer it when we can see each other. It makes for a much more pleasant night, since I don't sleep."

"You like perving on me, Cas?" Dean smirked but he loosened his grip enough to let Cas turn over in his arms. His angel nuzzled into his neck, nibbling small kisses.

"I always enjoy looking at you. You are the most aesthetically pleasing thing I have ever seen."

Dean's cheeks began to heat up but he didn't say anything. Cas' arm slid around Dean to run his hand up and down Dean's back, his touch light and ghostly.

"Puttin' me to sleep so you can take advantage o' me?" Dean slurred, his eyes suddenly leaden and unable to stay open. Cas chuckled and leaned up to give him a quick kiss.

"If you say so, Dean."


	6. It Was Bound to Happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Happy 38th birthday, Jensen Ackles! Our smol bby has grown into a smol man! :D
> 
> Also, I'm going to put NSFW warnings at the start of each chapter with smut, just for those who are reading this and want to skip it. On that note, this chapter is quite NSFW, in my opinion.

**5\. French kissing (and maybe a little bit more)**

"Well," Cas said. "I take it we will be staying in here today?"

Dean glared at the window, which was streaked with big, fat raindrops. He'd planned on getting out of Ackerman, Mississippi, by that afternoon but then the heavens themselves had seemed to split like Sam's pants when he was fourteen and probably half the water on the planet had cascaded down on the town. Normally, Dean wouldn't have cared – he'd driven in this sort of thing before – but Cas didn't want him driving in that rain 'for his own safety'. And how was Dean supposed to resist when his angel turned those puppy dog eyes on him?

"Great," he muttered. "Can't go and drive and daytime TV sucks. What are we s'posed to do now?"

He flopped onto the bed, grumbling under his breath as his head hit the pillow. The bed dipped as Cas followed suit and when he turned his head, he saw Cas' face only an inch from his own. He grinned.

"Hello there, handsome."

A small smile slipped onto Cas' face.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean sighed.

"You don't get it, Cas. You're meant to say something like that back – like gorgeous or whatever."

"I don't need to say a term of endearment when you are perfect, Dean."

Heat flooded through Dean's body and he had to look away, his stomach churning.

"You can't just say stuff like that!"

"Why not? It's true. There are no words to describe how amazing you are."

"Yeah but I can't say crap like that and now I feel bad."

A hand gently cupped his cheek and pulled his head around to face Cas, who was still smiling fondly. Cas propped himself up on his other arm and then leaned down to kiss Dean.

"You don't need to say 'crap like that'," Cas murmured when he pulled away. "I know that you try as best you can. And I know that you show me in the best way you are able."

Dean grinned up at Cas, his whole body tingling pleasantly, before tangling his fingers in Cas' hair and yanking him down for another kiss. Cas groaned into the kiss and caressed Dean's cheek and when Dean hauled Cas on top of him, he cupped Dean's other cheek with his other hand.

"I love you, Dean," Cas gasped. His wild hair and dilated pupils made Dean groan and pull Cas back in for another hungry kiss and this time, his tongue swiped against Cas' lips, asking for entrance. Cas eagerly parted his lips and Dean's tongue slid into his mouth.

"I – always wondered how – licking the inside of your partner's mouth – was appealing," Cas panted when Dean retreated for air. "But – now I think – I think I see –"

"Called French kissing," Dean rasped. "Or tonsil hockey, if you wanna be less formal. Lemme show you more."

He kissed Cas again, his tongue brushing against his angel's. Cas' hands moved from his face to clench in his shirt and he shifted on top of Dean, accidentally grinding against Dean's crotch. Dean moaned loudly, releasing Cas' hair to grab his angel's hips tightly.

"My apologies," Cas said after breaking the kiss. "I know that you – that you want to take this slow until you are comf –"

His sentenced ended in a strangled moan as Dean thrust up into his crotch.

"Dean –"

"Gimme it, dammit," Dean hissed. His heart was pounding furiously, his whole body was on fire and if Cas didn't keep freaking moving, he was going to explode!

"Dean, I think –"

"Damn you, Cas! Do you want this?"

"Of course. I just don't know if you –"

Dean rutted up furiously and Cas bowed his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Does that answer your question? Just fucking move, Cas!"

Cas tentatively shifted his hips, sending lightning shooting straight up Dean's body. Dean's long, low groan seemed to encourage him because he began to thrust down, gripping Dean's shirt so hard that his knuckles were chalk white.

"Cas," Dean choked, fire pooling in his belly. "Keep movin'…"

"Should – should we take our pants and underwear off?" Cas said in a lower voice than usual, still grinding into Dean. "I – I know that when males orgasm – it is – it can be quite messy –"

"Don't you fucking stop, Cas," Dean growled. "Or so help me –"

Cas silenced him with a rough kiss, shoving his tongue into Dean's mouth and moving his hips even more. Cas taking charge like that was so damn hot that Dean nearly lost it then and there but instead, he tried to concentrate on thrusting up into Cas, his hands so tight around his angel's waist that he was sure to leave hand-shaped bruises.

"Cas – how close –" he managed to say when the kiss ended.

"Close enough," was Cas' gravelly response before he kissed Dean again. Every cell in Dean's body was on fire – every nerve lit up like a Christmas tree – his blood replaced with hot lava –

And then something exploded and Dean squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a long, animalistic cry as he came in his pants and waves of pleasure surged through him, nearly overwhelming him with their intensity. Above him, Cas seized up and then threw his head back, his mouth open as a howl escaped his throat and his hands actually ripping Dean's shirt. He collapsed forward onto Dean's chest, panting loudly, while Dean stared up at the ceiling blankly.

How the fuck had he had one of the best orgasms in his life from rutting against Cas like a horny teenager with all his clothes on, when he'd actually had full-on sex with others loads of times before? Did it have something to do with the fact that – that he loved Cas more than he'd freaking loved anyone else? That thought terrified the hell out of Dean because not only was he still coming to terms with the fact that he lusted after – and now humped – an angel in a dude's body, it was also a petrifying realisation that what he felt for Cas was real. He loved this angel so fucking much – only a few weeks after finally manning up and telling him, and around year after beginning to even entertain the thought of them ever being together – but how could he admit this? How could he let it become real and invite the possibility of losing his beautiful angel?

"You're thinking too hard, Dean," Cas said, his voice muffled by Dean's shirt. "I can't read your mind but I can tell."

Still staring at the ceiling, Dean raised his arms and let them fall around Cas in a loose embrace. His nerves were still jittery after coming in his pants like a freaking teenager and despite the fact that looking at a post-orgasm Cas might make him come all over again, he still found himself looking down. His angel stared right back up at him, his blue eyes shining and his plump lips curved in a wide, soft smile.

"I told you that we should have at least half-undressed," Cas said. "Now we need to take a shower to clean ourselves. Together, of course."

Dean snorted.

"Yeah but our shirts would be stained if we did take our pants off," he said hoarsely. Cas continued to smile at him. "Stop being so fucking adorable, Cas. You're destroying my manliness."

Cas just smiled wider and pulled himself up until he could reach Dean's mouth and give him a small, sweet kiss.

"If that is what sex with clothes on feels like, I can't wait until you are comfortable enough to have proper sex with me," he whispered. Dean made a long, low strangled sound but before he could say anything, Cas slid off him and stood up, smiling innocently. "Do you want to come and shower with me, Dean?"

All Dean could do was obediently follow Cas to the bathroom, his mind a jumbled mess of thoughts and inappropriate images.


	7. Oddly Endearing and Totally Literal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Mark Sheppard's little princess was born, totally stealing Jensen's thunder and his birthday! Welcome to the world, Isabella Rose Sheppard! :D
> 
> Thanks to 221fandomwitches for your comment :)

**7\. Make up nicknames for each other**

"It's a shame that males must undergo a refractory period after orgasm," Cas said as he followed Dean out of the bathroom, dressed in only his boxers and slacks that he had poofed clean. "I was quite eager to discover what you look like when you climax in the shower, especially if I was the one bringing you to that state."

Dean made a small, strangled sound as he pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and jeans.

"Dude, you come once and you're suddenly a sex machine?" he said. When he fell back on the bed, Cas sat down next to him, smiling down at him.

"My own orgasm doesn't matter, Dean. My ability to provide you with pleasure is what truly brings me pleasure in turn."

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"So, what, you get off on getting me off?"

Cas took a moment to process that sentence.

"Yes. Your rapture is what heightens my joy."

"Well, look who's swallowed a thesaurus today," Dean muttered, his body suddenly warm and fuzzy. "If it makes you feel any better, I love makin' you feel good too."

Cas smiled again and bent down to kiss him. Dean melted into the kiss, raising his arms to wrap them around Cas' neck, and Cas allowed Dean to lead him down so that he could lie on top of Dean, their bare chests pressing together, and deepen the kiss. Dean groaned. He was totally hooked on kissing Cas; Cas was the most addictive drug out there. So what? It made him feel good and he was supposed to do things that made him feel good, wasn't he? At least, that was what Sam had said when agreeing that this road trip was a good idea (although Dean was pretty sure he hadn't been talking about this).

"C'mon, Cas," he panted when he broke the kiss. "You can't be ready for round two. I'm still recovering!"

"I'm an angel, Dean. Theoretically, I could always 'be ready'. But I know that even with your own magnificent prowess, you would not be able to keep up with me always 'being ready'."

Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Was that a joke? You makin' fun of me, angel?"

He froze at the cheesy nickname. Cas, however, chuckled and kissed him.

"Of course not."

"Well, I'm on to you." But Dean relaxed, thinking that he had gotten away with the cutesy nickname crap.

"And I like that nickname, Dean. I don't understand how 'angel' is a term of endearment, since it is literally what I am and you seem to dislike my brothers and sisters, but I can tell that you like it, so I also like it."

Dean groaned loudly and looked away.

"Ignore it, Cas. It just slipped out. I don't do nicknames, okay?"

"You call your car 'Baby'."

"That's different! She's a car!"

"You call your brother 'Sammy'."

"I've always called him that!"

"They are the two things that you love most. The fact that you have also given a nickname to me makes me feel very privileged, Dean."

Great, now Dean felt guilty. How was he supposed to take back that nickname now?

"But I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. And you already nicknamed me – nobody had ever called me Cas before you. I actually find that I prefer Cas to Castiel when it's you and Sam that call me that."

Guilt still churned in Dean's stomach. Why did he do this every time? Why did he always fuck everything up? Besides, giving Cas a nickname wasn't really that bad. He – he loved the guy (even if he still mentally cringed at that word) and if this made Cas happy, he was gonna get over his freaking issues and do it. So with that in mind, he tightened his arms around Cas and tugged him down for another kiss.

"Yeah?" he said when he came up for air. "Well, if I'm gay for an angel then I think I can move past my nickname issues…angel."

The wide grin, bright eyes and deep kiss he got in return were totally worth it.

"Then I have to give you a nickname as well. It's only fair…human."

Dean's eyebrows shot up. The nickname was weird as fuck but it made sense when he thought that this was how Cas must've felt when he called him 'angel'. And it was oddly endearing.

"Whatever. Shut up and kiss me, angel."


	8. Don't Mess with Dean's Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to tkdgrl223 and Shannon_Kind for your comments :)

**8\. Do trust-building activities**

"Cas? You okay?" Dean hissed. Cas groaned.

"Dean – what – I'm trapped – my powers are useless!"

Dean could feel the panic oozing off the angel.

"Hey, calm down! It's okay, Cas!"

"Dean –"

"Badass warrior, remember? Keep cool, angel."

His words did the trick; next to him, Cas took a deep breath and calmed down.

"My apologies, Dean. I just – usually, my powers are not bound when I am. I don't know where Camael obtained these Enochian chains but they are restricting my grace and my wings. I wish I could free you."

"I know. That asshole took my knife, so I can't get us free. I'm –"

A sudden thought occurred to Dean. He moved his leg and was rewarded with the sensation of something small and cool brushing against his leg inside his boot.

"Hey, Cas. The stupid son of a bitch didn't know about the knife in my boot. If you can get it out for me, I can pick your cuffs and you can go shiv the dickbag."

"That will take too long, Dean. It would be much quicker for me to cut your ropes so that you can face Camael and free me when you have defeated him and obtained the key to my bonds."

"You're alright to just sit there?"

"I trust you, Dean. I trust in your ability to defeat Camael and come back to free me."

"Right. Okay. Hold on so I don't accidentally kick you in the nuts."

After careful manoeuvring on both their parts, Cas finally had the knife and was able to contort his body to bring his manacled hands to his front and cut Dean's bonds. Dean winced every time the knife slipped but soon enough, he was free and he turned to face Cas.

"I'll be back for you, angel," he vowed, giving Cas a quick kiss. Cas nodded.

"Go, human."

Dean's insides did a weird flip-flop at the nickname but he forced those feelings down so that he could focus on creeping out of the room and down the dusty stairs. The douchebag angel that had kidnapped them was in the living room, pacing up and down with his eyes closed; maybe talking on angel radio or whatever.

' _Okay. Focus. There's Cas' angel blade. You just gotta get it, kill the son of a bitch and then go free Cas. Easy as pie. Damn, I could go for some apple pie right now.'_

Dean shook his head to clear it. Very careful not to make a sound if he could help it, he snuck past the pacing angel and ducked behind a sofa, his eyes glued on the shining blade.

"But why should I leave them alive?" Camael burst out suddenly. Dean nearly jumped. "They have caused more trouble than – I don't care. I am your superior and I will do as I see fit."

While Camael was distracted, Dean dived for Cas' blade. This movement immediately caught Camael's attention, even though the angel's eyes were closed, and by the time Camael had pulled out his own blade, Dean was hefting Cas' weapon and pointing it right at Camael. Now to think of a grand speech to look totally cool in front of this dick.

"You're a douchebag. I'm gonna kill you."

Camael just stared at him.

"That sounded a lot better in my head."

"Dean Winchester," Camael spat. "You have been a thorn in Heaven's side since the moment we descended into Hell to rescue you. Castiel should never have ignored our orders to retreat when we lost too many of our garrison."

"Yeah? Well, I'm glad he did," Dean said, his stomach suddenly plummeting. There was no love lost between him and Heaven but how many angels had died in an attempt to pull his worthless ass out? What if _Cas_ had died? The thought of his angel dying for him made him sick to his stomach. "'Cause he went totally badass and rebelled and helped us take down Michael and Lucifer. And now I get to bang my very own angel – who's hot as fuck, mind you, and man, is he loud in bed – and I also get to spend my life with someone who actually thinks I'm worth something. So yeah, I think I win."

Well, he wasn't actually fucking Cas yet. He still wasn't ready for _that_ yet. But hey, this junkless douchebag didn't need to know that.

"You are poison, Dean Winchester. You corrupt everything that you touch. Castiel was a good soldier before he laid a hand on you."

Dean forced himself to keep smiling, despite his numb insides.

"If good soldier means emotionless, junkless douchebag then I think Cas is way better off now. I taught him how to be awesome."

Camael frowned at him.

"You love him," the angel said. Dean blinked and spluttered, making Camael smile triumphantly. "You love Castiel."

"What? I –"

Camael suddenly vanished. Dean remained rooted to the spot, a bad feeling starting to grow in his gut, and his heart dropped when scuffling suddenly sounded from upstairs.

"Son of a bitch," he hissed, launching into action before he could even think. He pounded up the stairs and down the hall to the room that Cas was in before skidding to a dead halt in the doorway. Cas was crumpled on the ground, his face bloody, while Camael loomed over him with stained knuckles and his angel blade in hand.

"Hey!" Dean yelled. "Get the fuck away from him!"

Camael did the exact opposite; he grabbed Cas by the collar and hauled him to his feet, Cas sagging in his grip, before resting his blade against Cas' throat. Dean froze.

"Let him go, you douchebag."

"No." Camael's eyes glittered madly. "You ruined the plan, Dean Winchester. Michael was going to save us all from Lucifer! Raphael was going to bring about paradise!"

"Michael wouldn't've needed to save you if you dickwads hadn't sprung Lucifer in the first place! And everything was fine till Raphael thought he needed to try and free Lucifer _again_!"

"Enough!"

Dean shut up when Camael dug his blade deeper into Cas' throat, forcing Cas' head up and breaking the skin. As blood trickled down his neck, Cas met Dean's eyes defiantly. Dean stared right back; if there was ever a time for their damn 'eye sex' to work, this was it. Something shifted in Cas' eyes, something that Dean understood to mean 'get ready to stab this fucker'. The level of trust and understanding between them sometimes staggered him.

"…and I'm going to kill your precious Castiel before I ensure that you won't escape," Camael was ranting. "Then I'm going to find your brother and we're going to ensure that you both will say yes to Michael and Lucifer when we do free them. We will have our paradise!"

Dean had to move at that moment or he was going to blow his own brains out from sheer boredom. Sensing his mood, Cas suddenly rose up, taking Camael by surprise, and whirled in the other angel's grip to smash him in the face with his bound hands. Camael reeled back with a cry and the minute that Cas was free, Dean surged forward and jammed the angel blade he had into Camael's gut. The angel choked, blood pouring out of his mouth as he lit up and died with a scream, falling to the ground with the ashy imprints of two massive wings spread beneath him. Dean crouched down to pull the angel blade out of Camael's body, fumbled around in his pocket for the keys to the manacles and turned around with a grin.

"Dude, we're awesome," he said. Cas smiled up at him from the floor and the minute Dean had unlocked his cuffs, he grabbed Dean by the shirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"We are," he agreed. "Can we leave, Dean? I – I don't want to look at my dead brother for any longer than necessary."

Camael's words about being poison and causing the unnecessary deaths of many angels began to flash through Dean's mind. Nodding quickly, he hauled Cas to his feet and squeezed his angel's hand tightly before he was sucked into the whirling, uncomfortable, sickening Angel Airlines.


	9. What Needs to be Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> So as last prompt showed, some of these prompts are going to be totally unconventional but hey, that’s Dean and Cas for ya XD And also, I am SO sorry for updating THIS late but ffn decided to spaz out on me and would not let me onto it – I stayed up till 11 pm before admitting defeat and I didn't want to update one without the other. Tonight’s prompt will still be up at the usual time, barring any unforeseen complications!
> 
> Also, NSFW warning for the last bit of the chapter. You should be alright for most of it, though.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**9\. Kiss partner’s body all over**

Dean knew that Cas could sense that something was up with him. But Sam was the person he was close to, who knew him best, and he didn’t even tell his brother when anything was up until he was backed into a corner. Why the hell would he tell Cas?

Especially when this was about Cas. Camael’s words had been playing on repeat in Dean’s head ever since they’d killed the fucker and escaped and how was he supposed to fight back against them if they were true? He _was_ a thorn in Heaven’s side – and though that was a title he wasn’t anything less than proud of, it hadn’t been easy for Cas, having to choose between Dean and his family. He _was_ poison. He _did_ corrupt everything. Cas had had a home – a _family_ – before Dean had ripped that all away. Now the angel was stuck road tripping with Dean, the guy he clearly liked only because he didn’t know any better. Who in their right mind could love Dean and stick with him like Cas had? Just because he loved –

He loved Cas. That was something he already knew but now, the thought made nausea rise up in him rather than joy. He _knew_ that the people he loved always got hurt. He’d fucking _known_ it and yet, he still allowed himself to be happy with Cas. He’d allowed himself to think that he had a chance at happiness like everyone else! Now how was he supposed to reconcile with the fact that he loved Cas? If Cas had gotten hurt when Dean was still coming to terms, what would happen to the angel if Dean actually admitted it out loud? If Cas died or was seriously injured because of him, how could he ever forgive himself?

“Dean? Dean, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dean mumbled, turning away from Cas in bed. He had to stay away from Cas, for his angel’s safety! He wouldn’t let _anything_ happen to Cas!

“Dean –”

“Nothing’s wrong, Cas! Just leave me alone! Or do we have such a ‘profound bond’ that –”

Before he could finish his sentence, he was grabbed by the shoulder and forcefully turned onto his back. He then had a pissed angel straddling him, his blue eyes stormy and his mouth set in a hard line.

“What’s wrong, Dean? I know you. I know that you resort to hurtful comments when you are in pain, so as to ward off those who would wish to help you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Dean shook his head stubbornly.

“Dean, I just want to help you. I love you –”

“Yeah! And I do too!” Dean burst out. “And y’know what that gets me? Dead family and friends. I _can’t_ say that, Cas. You saw what happened with that dick Camael. If I say it, you can end up dead! I’ve lost too many people to let you die! Hell, you and Sam already did die before!”

“Dean –”

“You ever wonder why I never said it to anyone but Mom? Because I said it to her and she died. I couldn’t ever tell my own brother and father that I loved them because I was terrified that I’d lose ‘em! But it doesn’t matter, does it? Even if I don’t say it, everyone ends up dead. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck away from me.”

“Dean, I –”

“I fucked up your life, Cas. You had a home – a _family_ – before you risked your life to pull my worthless ass out of Hell. And now Heaven doesn’t want you back and your brothers and sisters hate you, so you gotta stick with me because you don’t know any better – I mean, no one in their right mind can love me –”

“ _Dean_!”

Dean fell silent at the pure rage in Cas’ eyes, his heart hammering. When Cas spoke every word dripped with fury.

“So that’s what you think of me? A stupid, incompetent being who only stays with you out of obligation and pity?”

“What? No! You’re smart and brilliant –”

“Then did it ever cross your mind that maybe I stay with you because I _want_ to? Because I _love_ you? Because I threw _everything_ away for _you_? I chose you over Heaven, Dean. Not all of the angels hate me – in fact, several have said that they would welcome me back should I ever choose to return. But the only time I will ever return to Heaven is when you die for the last time, so that I can spend the rest of my days with you and Sam in your Heaven.”

Dean’s whole body was numb. His mind was blank. How the hell could Cas feel this way about him?

“You _are_ worthy of love, Dean. I would raise you from a thousand Hells if I had to. And even if the people you love do die, they do not die _because_ you love them.”

“They do! Mom – Dad – Ellen – Jo – Sam – you –”

“ _None_ of us died because of you, Dean. We died because of the choices we made. Even if I _did_ die because of you, I would still choose you. I love you, Dean. You need to see that you _are_ worthy of love.”

Cas let go of Dean’s shirt and turned Dean’s head with one hand. Something swelled inside Dean and his eyes began to prickle and sting at the pure, raw love he could see in Cas’ face, before Cas was kissing him. Dean raised his hands to grip Cas’ shoulders, returning the kiss and trying to pour every little bit of love he felt for his beautiful angel into it. It seemed to work because Cas deepened the kiss, running his other hand through Dean’s short hair and demanding entry to Dean’s mouth with his tongue; entry that Dean quickly granted, moaning when Cas licked into his mouth. The kiss lasted until Dean needed air, at which point Cas began to trail kisses from the corner of his mouth down his jaw and to his throat.

“Cas – what’re you –?”

Cas silenced him with another kiss.

“I’m showing you that you do deserve love in the only way I can think of, since words clearly will not get through to you.”

“But Cas –”

“Do you trust me, human?”

That was a no-brainer. Dean nodded immediately.

“Then let me love you.”

Dean closed his eyes as Cas gently bit his throat and then began to kiss, ensuring that a bruise would be left. Dean groaned and tipped his head back, baring his throat in what he thought was the most trusting thing he’d ever done; it wasn’t easy to leave himself completely vulnerable like that – if anything damaged his throat enough, it was game over, as Camael had demonstrated – and he hadn’t left himself that open to any of his previous lovers but this was Cas. He trusted Cas with his life – no, his _soul_. Cas seemed to sense this because he detached himself from the blossoming hickey and began to leave feather light kisses down Dean’s neck and to his collar.

“Cas…”

Cas sat up and began to pull Dean’s shirt up, his eyes smouldering, kissing inch after inch of skin that was revealed.

“You deserve this, Dean,” he said forcefully. “You deserve every little bit of love that you are shown. It pains me that you cannot see that.”

Dean sat up so that his angel could pull his shirt off. Cas gently laid him back down and began to caress his chest lightly.

“It also pains me that you treat me as a fool for loving you,” Cas continued. Dean shivered when Cas’ hands brushed over his hard nipples. “It pains me that you think that you can decide what I want for me. I chose to fall for free will. I fought to make my own decisions. Do you know what I choose?”

Cas leaned down, his breath ghosting over Dean’s ear.

“I choose you, Dean. I will always choose you.”

Dean had to fight the strong urge to burst out laughing at Cas’ unintentional Pokémon reference. He expected Cas to sit back up but instead, his angel descended down to his chest and began to trail kisses down it. Dean hissed when Cas took one of his nipples into his mouth and began to suckle.

“Cas…dammit, Cas…”

He felt Cas smile around the small nub and when he added a gentle scraping of teeth, Dean couldn’t help but let out a long, loud groan. He dug his fingers into Cas’ shoulders, his head still tipped back, and as his dick began to swell with blood and perk up, he tried to rut against Cas’ leg in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure. Cas simply moved out of Dean’s reach.

“C’mon, Cas!”

“There will be a reward at the end, Dean. Just be patient.”

He turned his attention to Dean’s other nipple and showered it with equal attention before kissing down Dean’s arm to his hand, pressing tiny kisses to each of his fingers, then doing the same to his other arm before finally trailing down his stomach and to the waistband of his sweatpants. Dean let out a happy, shaky sigh when Cas pulled them and his boxers down, Dean lifting his hips to help out, but a frustrated sound escaped his mouth when Cas ignored his erection in favour of kissing down his legs.

“Cas!”

“Patience, Dean.”

Dean squirmed when Cas kissed his feet and toes – because that shit was just weird – but finally, at long last, Cas returned up to his waiting dick and began to kiss his inner thighs. Now all he needed was for Cas to grab his dick and work those magic hands and – oh, that gleam in his angel’s eyes couldn’t be good – was he –?

Cas licked a stripe up Dean’s shaft and then took Dean’s dick in his mouth. Dean let out an embarrassingly loud moan, grabbing fistfuls of Cas’ hair and tugging because dammit, that felt so fucking _good_! Cas detached himself, smiling up at Dean.

“Tell me if I am doing anything wrong, Dean.”

But Dean couldn’t have formed a coherent thought if his life depended on it. Cas just _couldn’t_ be a pure virgin – he just _couldn’t_ – that was not the mouth of somebody who had never done this before!

“Dean, is this satis –?”

“ _Don’t fucking stop_!”

If Dean thought that Cas hollowing his cheeks and licking around his slit was bad enough, it was nothing compared to when Cas took him all the way down to the hilt, his dick bumping the back of his angel’s throat. Panting, Dean couldn’t help but thrust up into Cas’ mouth and oh _God_ , did this angel have a fucking gag reflex at all?

“Caaaaaasssss – God – Cas – don’t stop – dammit – don’t stop – I can’t – you awesome angel – _Cas_ – Cas – Cas –”

All Dean could brokenly stutter now was Cas’ name. His whole body was on fire, he was practically pulling Cas’ hair out and he must have had lightning running through his veins because that was _not_ blood. When Cas swallowed, his throat muscles clenching around his dick, Dean knew that he was a goner. It only took two more swallows before Dean was coming, Cas swallowing his release almost eagerly, and each time Cas gulped down Dean’s load, it just drove Dean further and further into insanity and all he could do was let out a long, low cry and yank Cas’ hair.

And then it was over and Dean sagged back into the bed, gasping and panting in exhaustion. Cas crawled up Dean’s body, smiling, and curled up next to him, making Dean lift a shaky arm so that he could wrap it around his angel. Cas pulled the covers up over both of them.

“I love you, Dean. Nothing will ever change that.”

When Cas kissed him, Dean tasted a salty, musky flavour and realised, with a sudden rush, that it was _him_. It was _his_ taste on Cas’ lips! And if he had his way, Cas wouldn’t ever taste anybody else! He didn’t even want to _think_ about Cas tasting anybody else!

“Mine,” he growled. Cas looked at him quizzically as, with a surprise burst of sudden energy, he rolled on top of Cas and attacked his mouth roughly. “Mine. You’re mine. ‘M sorry, Cas. Don’t leave me. You’re mine. Mine, mine, mine.”

Each ‘mine’ was punctuated with a short kiss. Cas lay there, startled, as Dean continued to claim him and then furiously began to unbutton his white shirt, untucking it from his slacks.

“Not gonna let anyone else have you. Please, Cas. You can’t – I need you. Mine.”

Cas shuddered underneath him as he pressed rough kisses to his angel’s chest. Dean then found himself being pulled back up so that Cas could forcefully kiss him, his angel tugging his hair sharply.

“Of course, Dean. I’m yours. I will never leave you. I could never love somebody else as I do you.”

Dean let out a small, satisfied growl and began to kiss Cas roughly again. Time to leave his own mark on his beautiful angel!


	10. Naughty Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> Just a short one tonight because I am exhausted and THIS close to just breaking down for no apparent reason.

**10\. Skinny dip**

“Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean grinned back at Cas while tugging his shirt off.

“Come on, Cas! A massive lake and nobody around to see us? Live a little!”

Dean could feel Cas’ eyes boring into him as he stripped out of his jeans and boxers, leaving himself completely naked. Footsteps crunching behind him alerted him to his approaching angel and he turned and caught Cas by the lapels of his trench coat.

“You too, angel,” he murmured, pulling the coat from Cas’ shoulders and then making short work of his suit jacket. “This road trip’s about having fun. If I’m doin’ it, so are you.”

Cas still didn’t take his clothes off but he did allow Dean to undress him, something that Dean appreciated a lot. Once both of them were nude, Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and led him into the cool, dark water, only illuminated by the gleaming silver orb in the black sky.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said as they waded out chest-deep. “Don’t humans usually swim with bathing suits? From what I understand, it isn’t acceptable to have no clothes on when –”

Dean silenced him with a kiss.

“That’s what makes it so exciting,” he grinned when he broke away. “The possibility of getting caught. I mean, you’re an innocent little angel so you don’t give a fuck who sees you naked but –”

“But you have grown up with human views,” Cas finished. “I see what you mean.”

Now out in deep water – though not so deep that they couldn’t touch the bottom – Dean pulled Cas back against his chest and began to nuzzle into the nape of his angel’s neck, nibbling small kisses.

“Just relax, angel,” he said, running a hand up and down Cas’ bare chest in the water. “For once, we’re doing something that’s not gonna end in sexy stuff. I kinda like it.”

Cas leaned back against him, his wet hair tickling his chest, purring softly. Dean just knew that his eyes were closed and, feeling a sudden, powerful rush of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, he turned Cas’ head so that he could kiss him. Cas immediately turned to deepen the kiss, wrapping his arms around Dean, and when he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder after breaking the kiss, Dean grinned widely and held him close as tight as he could.


	11. Deep Discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So this is a headcanon that I've had about Cas for a long time and it's one that can work with a Cas that does have sex and a Cas that doesn't, so I thought I'd go the way of 'Cas does enjoy sex' for this fic just to try something different with this headcanon.
> 
> Not really NSFW but there is talk about sex in this, so I thought I'd put a warning anyway.

**11\. Confess a secret/fear**

When Dean had turned to Cas and impulsively asked his angel to tell him something he'd never have said normally, this was _not_ what he'd expected.

"You _what_?" he spluttered. Cas shrugged uncomfortably.

"I feel no sexual attraction to you," he said. Dean continued to gape at him like an idiot.

"But – we've – we've done that stuff –"

"Yes. And I enjoyed it."

"But you didn't even want to do it! Ah, now I feel like such an _asshole_ for making you –"

Cas silenced him with a blazing glare.

"You did not _make_ me do anything, Dean. I performed those sexual acts with you because I wanted to. Do you really think that I would have done anything of that nature if I was not completely comfortable?"

Dean looked away, grimacing apologetically. He really _was_ an asshole for assuming something like that; Cas might do nearly anything for him but the angel would never sacrifice his dignity, and Dean would never ask him to.

"Why didn't you tell me, Cas? I mean, you said you wanted to do that stuff with me but did you think I'd throw a bitch fit and make you sleep with me if you didn't want to?"

Cas shrugged again, not meeting Dean's eyes.

"I didn't think that it was important. You clearly desire my body and I enjoy giving you pleasure and bringing you to orgasm. Your pleasure is my pleasure."

Dean remembered that conversation but he hadn't realised that Cas was talking about _this_.

"But – how the hell can you not like my body but still –"

"I _do_ like your body, Dean. It's beautiful and when I am not looking at your soul, I just stare at your body. I simply feel no desire to perform sexual acts to it."

Shaking his head, Dean threw his hands up.

"Okay. Just explain everything to me. I'll shut up and let you have your say."

Cas looked down at his hands, which were twisting in his lap.

"When I realised that I was in love with you, I also realised that it was not normal that I felt no physical attraction to you – after all, many angels are able to feel lust and physical desire when in a vessel. I learned that I was asexual – that is, I feel no sexual attraction to anybody. I also realised that this might cause unnecessary friction in our relationship when we became a couple, so I didn't think that it was necessary to tell you."

"You should've!" Dean interrupted, grabbing Cas by the shoulders and pulling his startled angel into a hug. "Dammit, Cas! I don't care if you don't want sex! You think that's all there is to us?"

"Dean, I _do_ enjoy having sex with you. I just feel no physical attraction towards you, or desire to sleep with you. But I enjoy the physical sensations, especially when it is you causing them – I know that this is how you best show your love for me and that is what I truly enjoy when we do have sex. And I know that this is how I can show you how much I truly love you."

Dean's stomach twisted and he pulled Cas even closer, pressing kisses to his head.

"So you like doing it but you don't feel like doing it."

"I suppose, in a way. I could comfortably live my whole life without it and I would not actively seek it out but I enjoy it when it is with you because it is an act filled with love."

Dean began to run his fingers through Cas' hair, still kissing his head. If anyone had told him a year ago that not only would he be gay for an angel but he'd be acting like a lovesick idiot, he'd have knifed them or put a bullet through their knee. But how the hell was he supposed to care about his masculinity now, when he was holding his beautiful angel who was clearly trying not to hurt him even though _Dean_ was the one who should be trying to avoid causing _him_ pain.

"I thought asexual meant hating sex."

"Some do. I found that out during my research. Some asexual people are repulsed by the idea of sex, some are neutral and some enjoy it. They simply experience no sexual attraction towards anybody. I do enjoy sex, so long as it is with you."

How the hell was it possible to feel love and pain at the same time? Dean lay back on the bed and pulled Cas with him, so that his angel was lying on top of him, before tightening the hug and leaning up to kiss him.

"You tell me if you _ever_ feel uncomfortable, okay?" Dean demanded. "'Cause yeah, I'm gonna want to go further one day and have actual sex with you, even if I'm not ready yet. But if there's even a little bit of you that doesn't want it, I ain't going there. Okay? What's important is _you_."

It should've been illegal for Cas to look at him with that much love. Unable to take it, Dean rolled them over and, careful not to grind down or do anything sexual, pressed his lips to Cas'. Cas immediately kissed back, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck to pull him closer and groaning into the kiss.

"Just when I thought that my love for you couldn't possibly grow…" Cas rasped when Dean broke away for air. "I love you so much, Dean. If you ever doubt that, just remember this moment. I may not know very much about humanity but I do know that not everybody would be this accepting or understanding."

Dean just kissed him again.

"I – dammit – I need you. Why can't I freaking –"

"I know, Dean. I know."


	12. Damn Fan Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Blame Tsuki-Nekota and her fan art for this! -_- So yeah, it's NSFW but there's no nudity or anything.
> 
> Thanks to bloodyinspiredglader for your comment :)

**12\. Do something special and privileged together**

"I want to show you my wings."

Dean spat out his beer.

"You _what_?" he choked. "Didn't you – back in the barn –?"

"That was simply a projection, Dean."

"But your true form –"

"I can make my wings tangible on this plane without revealing my true form. We simply don't do this because showing a human our wings is one of the most intimate things that an angel can do. The level of trust involved…"

"You don't have to, then."

"No, I want to. Our wings are our most vulnerable part because they are the only part of our true form accessible to other beings, and therefore can cause us unimaginable pain. But I trust you, Dean. I love you."

Dean's insides swooped.

"Okay. If you're sure, go for it."

Cas immediately shucked off his trench coat and suit jacket, undid his tie and began to unbutton his shirt. Dean's eyes were only on Cas' bare chest for a moment; they were immediately drawn to the massive wings that flashed into existence behind Cas with a clap of lightning.

"Whoa…" Dean murmured, open-mouthed. Cas looked at him almost shyly as he slowly approached, staring. The feathers were silky, glossy and jet black with sheens of deep blue that glimmered and added depth and Dean could not take his eyes off them.

"This is not what they look like in my true form. This is just as close an approximation as possible in a tangible –"

"They're awesome," Dean blurted out. "They're – they're beautiful, man. And you know I never say that."

Cas actually beamed and Dean mentally cheered in triumph; Cas had never smiled that widely before!

"I'm glad that you like them, Dean."

"They're badass! Who wants fancy old white wings when you can have cool black ones?"

Unable to help himself, he reached out and ran a hand through a clump of feathers. The wing jerked under his hand and lashed out, sending him crashing to the floor with a surprised sound.

"Dean!"

"Wow," Dean groaned, accepting Cas' helping hand up. "Talk about touchy."

"Dean, I'm sorry –"

"Don't apologise, angel. I should've remembered what you said. I'd probably spaz out if someone touched my true form. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No. It actually felt – very pleasant. Touching an angel's wings is – is quite intimate and even in Heaven, only a select few –"

He broke off with a gasp as Dean began to stroke his feathers again. Dean grinned evilly.

"You said unimaginable pain. Does that go the other way too?"

Cas moaned softly under Dean's ministrations.

"Y-Yes – please, Dean – don't stop –"

"Oh, I'm not gonna. C'mere."

He pulled Cas towards the bed, sitting down on the edge and tugging Cas down between his legs. He then resumed raking his fingers through the soft, downy feathers, eliciting soft moans and quivers from his melting angel.

"Is this turning you on?"

"D-Dean –"

"Am I okay to keep going? I know you said you're okay with sex if it's bringing me pleasure but I'm the one doing this, so –"

"This – this isn't – what – it transcends – don't stop!"

Dean just shrugged and continued to stroke his angel's wings. The more he lavished them with attention, the more Cas began to pant and moan, until he was sagging forward and clenching his fists. Dean grinned widely at how his angel was coming undone beneath his fingers.

"Nearly there, angel?"

"Y-Yes – Dean – _Dean_ –"

It all ended when Dean's fingers skimmed over what seemed to be a 'hot spot'. Cas stiffened and jerked back and Dean was quick to catch him and hug him as his muscles seized and he cried up at the ceiling, his wings spread so far out that all Dean could see was shimmering blue-black. Then Cas slumped back against him, hair tickling his nose and chest still rising and falling rapidly under Dean's hands.

"You like that, angel?"

Cas twisted around and, with shaking limbs, seated himself in Dean's lap so that he could wrap his arms around Dean, give him a deep kiss and then rest his head on Dean's chest.

"Yes. That is – that was – Dean, I can't even describe how much better it was than sex. This was…"

"So long as you enjoyed it. And hey, I loved playing with your wings."

It was true. Cas trusting him enough to let him touch his most guarded spot was still filling him with warm tingles and he buried his face in his angel's dark hair and began to plant small kisses on his head. Cas purred softly and snuggled into him.

"Sometimes, I worry that I am compromising your 'manliness'."

"Screw my manliness. You've seen me in Hell, Cas, at my lowest. I don't need to worry about looking tough in front of you."

"If it helps, I think that you are very tough."

"Don't suck up, angel. If you want a kiss, just ask."

Cas actually rolled his eyes but leaned up anyway and kissed him. Oh, yeah. This was the life.


	13. Consideration for Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**13\. Make out in the rain**

"We're gonna have to make a run for it," Dean sighed, squinting at the Impala through the hair plastered to his forehead and drooping into his eyes. It was only a short distance from the building to his car but with how heavy the torrential rain was, they may as well have had to run across an ocean.

"I could fly us to the car," Cas suggested. Dean turned to raise an eyebrow at him but the sight of his waterlogged angel with damp hair and clothes sticking to his body momentarily made his mind go blank. God, just that white shirt clinging to Cas' chest and torso, begging to be peeled away and unbuttoned to reveal his beautiful body –

"Dean? Are you –?"

"Can I kiss you?" Dean blurted out. Cas frowned at him.

"Of course you can. Why –"

Before he could even finish, Dean shoved him into the brick wall and pinned him there while attacking his lips furiously, groaning and panting into his mouth. Cas immediately kissed back, tangling his fingers in Dean's hair to pull him closer.

"Because," Dean rasped when he pulled away to unbutton Cas' shirt quickly, "I think it might go further. I wanna know if you're cool."

"Dean, I'm not –" Cas broke off with a gasp when Dean began to plant kisses down his chest. He tipped his head back before continuing. "I'm not a fragile thing. You don't have to ask –"

"I kinda do," Dean said, licking around the waistband of Cas' slacks. Cas sucked in a deep breath. "See, you get off on getting me off. And I love to make sure that my partner's loving it. So if you're not having fun, I ain't doing it. We're only gonna go as far as you wanna go."

"Dean –"

"So you'd better get used to me asking you, Cas."

"Dean, I do enjoy this – I do want to –"

"I know you enjoy it. But you can't wanna do this all the time, can you? I've noticed sometimes that you don't seem to enjoy yourself as much – almost like you gotta be in the mood for it."

"I – yes, there are times that I don't – where I don't feel the desire to fully –"

"Bingo. We're not sacrificing what you want just for me. We're in this together, Cas – we're partners. That ain't how partners work. I – y'know – I need you."

Dean stood up, ignoring the wet patches on his knees, to give Cas a gentle kiss.

"So tell me, Cas. How far do you want me to go?"

Dean caught something in Cas' eye for a brief moment, though he couldn't tell just what it was.

"I – I want you to keep kissing me, Dean. I'm happy with just that. I would be happy not to climax."

Dean grinned and kissed him again.

"Aye, aye, captain. How 'bout you flap us outta this rain so we can continue this in Baby?"

Cas raised an eyebrow and vanished for a brief moment. When he reappeared, Dean only had a split second to wonder where his trench coat had gone before they were suddenly in the back of Baby, with the trench coat draped over Baby's seats. Dean barely had enough time to appreciate the fact that Cas had made an effort to protect his baby before Cas was pulling him down for a deep kiss; then all he could focus on was making his angel feel as good as possible.


	14. Well, That Was Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> NSFW. That's all.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**14\. Kiss in the car**

The rain had to be drugged or something, because Dean simply couldn't keep his hands – or his mouth – off Cas. Underneath him, on the trench coat spread over the back seat, Cas had his eyes squeezed shut and was clenching his hands in Dean's hair while panting.

"Can I keep going?" Dean said, biting Cas' collar gently to ensure that he left a hickey while caressing Cas' face with one hand and supporting himself with the other. Cas nodded shakily and so Dean began to kiss down his chest, pausing at the waistband of his slacks.

"You okay?"

"Y-Yes – please, Dean – keep going –"

Dean was more than happy to oblige and even began to unbutton Cas' pants. If his angel wanted him to keep going, then he would in the only away he knew how. It wasn't long before he had pulled Cas' slacks and boxers down and was pressing small kisses to the head of Cas' dick, while Cas sucked in a sharp breath and yanked his hair.

"Gonna make you feel good, Cas," he murmured, licking up Cas' shaft. He got a groan in response and, assuming that Cas would have stopped him if he really didn't want this, took Cas' dick into his mouth and licked the slit. Cas let out a choked cry and bucked up into his mouth, making him grin mentally. He might not be able to tell Cas that he loved him but he could show him!

It didn't take long for Cas to come, Dean swallowing his sticky release with only a slight grimace – it wasn't bad, as he'd been expecting, but it was definitely an alien taste. He detached himself and manoeuvred himself into a position where he could kiss a panting Cas.

"You okay, angel?" he said. Cas nodded shakily.

"Yes. I – I was just not expecting that."

Dean's smile faded.

"Cas –"

"But I did enjoy myself, Dean."

Cas reached up and pulled Dean down for a kiss. Dean kissed back eagerly, shifting so that he didn't fall and crush Cas underneath him.

"That was wonderful, Dean. I could feel your love for me." He kissed Dean again. "Would you like me to return the favour?"

"Only if you want –"

"I do want to. Just lie down and allow me to love you in return."

Dean hastened to do as he was told, even if it took several careful moments of wriggling and twisting to do so without accidentally hitting Cas or vice versa.


	15. Child at Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I probably could've had this written hours earlier if I hadn't spent all day alternating between housework to convince my mum that yes, I do deserve to go to 'All Hell Breaks Loose' when it comes here in June and meet Misha and the others, and reading a tonne of Destiel smut. Like, a lot. But meh.

**15\. Bubble baths**

"I don't understand," Cas said bluntly. Dean shot him an affronted look.

"What's not to understand, Cas? This place has a bath! Most places only have a crummy shower that doesn't even work right half the time!"

"I take it you want a bath?"

"Hell yeah. For once, I'm bein' a kid. I'm going out to get some bubble bath stuff. Coming?"

"Of course."

It wasn't too long before Dean had returned from the store down the road with a bottle of bubble bath and began to run the bath, keeping his hand under the stream of water until he was happy with the temperature. He then stuck the plug in and poured a generous amount of bubble bath into the water, grinning gleefully when bubbles immediately began to spring to life.

"C'mon, Cas!" he called. As soon as a puzzled-looking Cas was in the bathroom, Dean began to undress him. To his confusion, Cas seemed to pull away a fraction for a brief second and Dean would've thought that he'd just imagined it if he didn't know his angel so well. "What's up, Cas?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. I know you, angel. You don't wanna take a bath with me?"

Cas' eyes cleared. Dean hadn't even realised that something was fogging them over.

"Of course I do, Dean. I enjoy showering with you, so I imagine that bathing will be just as pleasant."

Dean was quick to undress him after that and he even returned the favour and stripped Dean out of his clothes with a skill that he definitely hadn't possessed before they were together. Once the bath was full, Dean turned the tap off and stepped into the hot, bubbly water with a sigh of contentment. He groaned when he was finally sitting down, soaking up the heat, and when Cas carefully got in after him, he pulled his angel close against him and wrapped his arms around him.

"Don't tell me you thought that I wanted to get into your pants," Dean murmured, nibbling the nape of Cas' neck.

"Of course not."

"Cas –"

"You're right, Dean. This bath is very pleasant. I want you to ensure that we stay at motels with baths as often as possible."

Dean knew that something was up but when Cas began to purr contentedly, he knew that he couldn't spoil his angel's mood. Instead, he shifted so that he could lie back and pull Cas closer to him, idly playing with his dampening black hair. And when Cas accidentally shoved bubbles into his face, well, it was game on in the bubble war at that point.


	16. Send the Onions Back to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Fallen_Wings_Of_Heaven for your comment :)

**16\. Cooking together**

“I didn’t know that you could cook,” Cas frowned as Dean unpacked their grocery bags.

“Course I can. Had to look after Sammy somehow, didn’t I? Just haven’t had the chance in years, since we usually stay at crummy places with nowhere to cook. But this place is freaking awesome, man!”

The bags unpacked, Dean began to take out the utensils he’d need to make their simple dinner of spaghetti, something he hadn’t cooked in a long time. But cooking was just like riding a bike and kid Sam had been pretty damn sure that Dean’s spaghetti was the best this side of the States.

“Wanna learn how to cook?”

“I have observed Earth for millennia. I have seen the best cooks of their time – oh.” He broke off at Dean’s look. “That was a hint.”

“Damn right, it was. C’mere and chop the onion for me – I ain’t getting my eyes burned out of my sockets ‘cause some onion wants to smite me.”

“Dean, I highly doubt that onions are related to angels in any way, least of all the pain that they cause.”

Dean just raised an eyebrow and gestured to the onion. Sure enough, after a minute or so, Cas was gasping and digging his fingers into his streaming eyes while Dean watched smugly.

“This – _thing_ – is releasing a sulfur compound that is reacting with the liquid in my eyes to form sulfuric acid! Why do humans use this demonic thing as an ingredient? It should be cast back into the pits of Hell!”

Dean grinned, his stomach twisting at how adorably nerdy his angel was.

“Because it tastes good once you’ve cooked it up and chucked it into something, like spaghetti sauce. Can’t you – I dunno – turn your tears off or something?”

“I could have prevented this reaction beforehand if I had known,” Cas muttered sourly. Dean snickered and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“You’re hilarious. Keep chopping.”

It wasn’t long before Dean had a small pan of sauce simmering on the stove, next to a bubbling pot of pasta. Cas was still eyeing the sauce balefully, no doubt remembering his traumatic experience with the onion before.

“Trust me, angel, it’ll be worth it when it’s ready. Fun lesson in humanity, right?”

Cas continued to glare at the sauce. Snickering, Dean drew his angel into his arms and pressed small kisses to his head, running a light hand up and down his back.

“Quit sulking. Or I’ll tickle you. You hate being tickled, don’t you?”

“Dean, so help me –”

Dean just smirked and kissed him.

“You are infuriating,” Cas whispered when Dean pulled away.

“I know. But I’m still awesome.”


	17. How to Shatter Morning Routines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> WE'VE BEEN CONFIRMED FOR SEASON 12. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. SEASON 12 IS HAPPENING.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**17\. Relax together in bed**

Before, waking up had been just another part of Dean's morning routine: wake up, lie in bed and mentally bitch about the world, shower (and maybe jerk off, if he was in the mood), get dressed, go and get breakfast if it was his turn (and bitch to Sam about the 'rabbit food' his little brother ate if it was Sam's turn) and then start their day.

But with Cas, it was different. Waking up alone was infinitesimally less preferable to waking up next to his angel, who didn't need to sleep but enjoyed lying next to Dean with his eyes closed, as if in some sort of trance. No matter how Dean went to sleep, he always woke up securely in Cas' arms, with Cas often stroking his hair and even humming a song quietly if he was lucky. It hadn't taken him long to get over 'being in the girl's position' to realise that this was way better than waking up alone.

"Mornin', Cas," he mumbled, his words slurred with sleep.

"Good morning, Dean."

A kiss was planted on Dean's head and he groaned happily and twisted so that he could wrap his arms around Cas. Still blinking the sleep from his eyes, he stretched up and clumsily kissed Cas on the lips, annoyed that this perfect angel wasn't even plagued with morning breath. Why'd it have to be so easy for him?

"Wanna do anythin' today?" Dean said as he nuzzled into the crook of Cas' neck, leaving little kisses. "Or just stay in bed?"

Cas purred contentedly and ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

"I would be more than happy to spend the day with you in bed."

"Good."

Dean began to trail kisses down Cas' chest but he didn't miss how Cas seemed to stiffen underneath him.

"You okay, angel?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow. Cas frowned at him.

"Of course I am, Dean. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're a bit tense. Want me to stop?"

Cas immediately shook his head.

"No. I know that you enjoy kissing my body. I just…don't wish to have sex with you at the moment."

Dean forced himself not to show his disappointment. Just because Cas didn't like him in _that_ way didn't mean – no, Cas loved him. He was sure of it.

"Sure thing, Cas. I'll stick to the waist up."

Dean kept his word; when he reached the waistband of Cas' slacks (which his angel wouldn't take off, even if Dean had convinced him to at least get rid of his trench coat, jacket, tie and shirt for bed), he began to kiss back up Cas' stomach, Cas purring softly all the while. He grinned to himself at this sound, which was such a 'Cas' sound that it always filled him with happiness when he heard it. Even if he couldn't get Cas off – or Cas couldn't get him off – this was still a pretty damn good way of waking up!


	18. Boyfriends are Assholes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> Just a short one tonight because we got back from our road trip and my eyes are killing me.

**18\. Tickle**

“I’m bored, Cas.”

“I don’t see how that’s my problem.”

“I’m your human. You gotta entertain me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Boyfriend rules.”

“Find your own entertainment, Dean.”

Oh, was that a challenge? Dean grinned and crawled across the bed to Cas, who turned and frowned at him.

“Dean? What are you –?”

“Entertaining myself.”

He pounced on Cas, straddling his angel, and then he began to dig his fingers into Cas’ sides. Cas immediately doubled over, letting out a rare wheeze of laughter.

“Dean – stop – you know that I hate – _Dean_ – I _will_ smite you –”

“Nah,” Dean smirked, tickling Cas’ armpits. Cas writhed around under him, laughing and crying at the same time, and Dean revelled in causing this outburst of emotion.

“ _Dean_!”


	19. Blasphemy of Bribery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to bloodyinspiredglader for your comments :)

**19\. Dress each other**

"Dean. We have to get up."

"Don' wanna."

"Dean."

"Cas."

"Dean. Get up."

"No."

When Cas didn't reply, Dean smiled smugly into his pillow. The next minute, however, he let out a cry as the covers were yanked off him and he was exposed to the cold air.

"Hey! Cas!"

When he turned over, he found himself face to face with a smirking Cas. He scowled up at his angel.

"You wanted to leave this town by midday, Dean. I allowed you to sleep in, as this is a rare occasion for you, but you must get up now."

"Why should I?" Dean said, crossing his arms petulantly. Cas smiled and bent down to give him a deep kiss.

"Because we are both nearly naked. I thought that allowing you to dress me and vice versa would be sufficient incentive for you to get out of bed."

Dean was quick to sit up, the promise of being able to touch his angel making him eager, and he rummaged around on the floor for Cas' clothes.

"C'mere, angel."


	20. Dean Loves the Sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Well, I think it goes without saying that this chapter is very NSFW. And I'm sorry if it's not as good as other smuts I've written but I'm someone who has moods – or 'waves' – of smut. I'll be obsessed, can't get enough, have to write it…and then I'll be sick of it and my inspiration will flatline. I'm in a 'down' mood at the moment, so I tried but I'm sorry if it's not up to scratch.

**20\. Make love**

"I think I'm ready," Dean growled, nibbling Cas' neck just above his pulse point. Cas froze underneath him.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. To go the whole way. Do the whole shebang. Y'know –"

"I do know, Dean."

But Cas was still tense, so Dean forced himself away from Cas' neck and propped himself on his elbows to look down at his angel.

"You sure about this, Cas? 'Cause if you're not, we won't –"

Before he could finish, Cas wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down for a rough kiss. Dean immediately groaned and reciprocated, fumbling to loosen Cas' tie and undo his buttons as he did so, and Cas had to eventually pull away to allow Dean to breathe and get his shirt and tie off fully. Dean hadn't even noticed that he needed air until he registered his lightheadedness.

"You wanna top or bottom?" Dean asked, pulling Cas into a sitting position long enough to rid him of the shirt and tie. When Cas lay back down, he then began to trail kisses down his angel's chest.

"I – I don't – whatever you want," Cas panted, tangling his fingers in Dean's hair and tugging. Dean growled loudly at this immediate turn-on and hastened to unbutton Cas' slacks before Cas grabbed his wrists tightly.

"What –"

"You're wearing too many clothes," Cas rasped, tugging at his T-shirt. Dean was quick to sit up and yank his shirt off before doing the same to his jeans and boxers, then undressing Cas.

"Dean," Cas gasped when Dean's hips ground down, their cocks slotting together. Dean groaned as heat surged through him and he bent down and attacked Cas' mouth, tightening his grip on Cas' shoulders when Cas dug his nails into Dean's back.

"Want me to blow you?" Dean murmured, lowering his head to suckle Cas' left nipple. Cas cried out, arching his back into Dean's touch. "Or just get to it?"

"Just – please – do it, Dean!" Cas said as Dean moved to his right nipple. Dean grinned around the small, hard nub and then began to kiss further down Cas' stomach, until he bumped into Cas' painfully hard dick.

"You sure about this?" he said, fumbling on the bedside table for the bottle of lube that he was certain was still there from last night. Cas inhaled sharply when Dean licked and kissed up his shaft and around the head of his dick.

" _Yes_!" he shouted. Pride welled up in Dean at the fact that he could make this usually stoic, composed angel come undone and he hastened to drizzle lube over his fingers, his dick aching at the thought of finally getting some happy action after months, before locking eyes with Cas.

"Tell me if anything hurts or you wanna stop," he said seriously. He knew that Cas would do anything to make him happy but he didn't want that; he wanted his angel to enjoy this too, not suffer through something to please him.

"I'm an angel, Dean. You can't hurt me. Do it!"

Dean carefully pushed a finger in and Cas arched his back in response, a breathy groan escaping his mouth. Dean stopped.

"You okay? Doesn't hurt or anything?"

"It feels…odd. But it isn't painful."

"Well, tell me if it is."

Dean carefully added another finger and began to pump and scissor, opening Cas up while also searching for that magic spot. He knew that he'd found it when his fingers brushed something and Cas went from breathing heavily to seizing up and crying out.

" _Dean_!"

"Found it," Dean grinned triumphantly. Hands grabbed his face and yanked him up for a fierce kiss, which he eagerly returned while continuing to open Cas up. Cas all but yelled into his mouth when he stroked that bundle of nerves again.

"Do it now, Dean," Cas demanded hoarsely when they separated. He already looked absolutely wrecked; his hair was a mess, his eyes were wide and his skin was flushed and sweaty.

"But Cas –"

"You won't break me, Dean! Do it!"

Before he could dwell on the fact that he was about to actually go for a roll in the sack for the first time in months but with a guy, Dean quickly coated his cock in lube. He paused.

"We need a condom?" he said, though he didn't want to have to spend the extra time searching for the box. Cas shook his head.

"I'm an angel. I can't catch any human diseases and you would not have any as of the last time I healed you."

Now that all of the important stuff was out of the way, Dean gently spread Cas' legs further apart and lined himself up.

"You sure?" he said one last time. When Cas nodded, he slowly pushed in, nearly losing it then and there at the familiar feeling of being surrounded by warm tightness. Cas responded to this with a long, low groan, digging his fingers into Dean's shoulders.

"Dean…" he croaked. Dean's forehead dropped to touch Cas' and, after planting a quick kiss on Cas' lips, he began to move. Oh, this was so amazing – he hadn't done this in _so_ long – how could he have had reservations about this? How could he have waited this long to watch Cas turn into putty underneath him, tossing his head from side to side and wrapping his legs around Dean's waist as he gripped Dean's shoulders so hard that he was certain to leave bruises?

"Keep – keep going –" Cas forced out, kissing Dean shakily, and when Dean found the perfect angle that nailed Cas' prostate with every thrust, Cas was reduced to a crying, panting, writhing mess before his very eyes.

"You're awesome," Dean gasped in Cas' ear. "So amazing, Cas."

He knew that he wouldn't last long, having missed this for months, but it was still almost embarrassing how quick he came, hips stuttering and stars flashing before his eyes as he released inside Cas. Exhaustion began to seep into his body but he fought it off; Cas still hadn't come and he wasn't going to inflict that kind of torture on his angel! So he forced his leaden arm down to Cas' dick, gripped it and began to stroke, providing Cas with that little bit of extra stimulation that he needed to seize up and let out a keening cry as he too came. Satisfied, Dean collapsed next to Cas, unable to move another muscle.

"That okay?" he slurred. Strong arms pulled him close to the warm body next to him and Cas pressed a kiss to his head.

"That was amazing, Dean. I'm glad that I was able to provide you with that pleasure."

Dean frowned.

"But you liked it?"

"Yes. Now I see why humans will kill just for this one act."

Dean's eyes began to drift closed and he groaned.

"I hate to be the weak douche that falls asleep after sex but –"

"I understand, Dean. Go to sleep."

The last thing Dean registered before drifting off was the hand stroking his back lightly and the soft lips that planted kisses all through his hair and he smiled to himself, feeling safer and more secure than he had in a long time.


	21. In Which Dean Uses His Upstairs Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> Okay, so now we start the climax of a plot point that I had planned but not intended to go into this much detail with, if not for HallowsEve on ffn. So thanks, Eve! This one’s short but only because it leads into the BM scene next chapter.

**21\. Undress each other**

Now that he’d had a taste of what sleeping with Cas was like, Dean was hooked. Whenever he could, he’d pull his angel down for a bit of fun time and Cas always seemed to be up for it whenever Dean was in the mood.

But Dean was a little worried. Sure, Cas went along with it but Dean always had the niggling feeling that there was something that Cas wasn’t telling him; not to mention that Cas always seemed to have a slight air of reluctance to him. But whenever Dean tried to bring it up, Cas silenced him and always managed to make him forget that there was even a problem in the first place.

So it was no surprise when, one morning, everything finally came out.

“Mornin’,” Dean murmured against Cas’ lips. Cas hummed and cupped Dean’s face, pulling him down to deepen the kiss.

“Good morning, Dean.”

The kiss remained sweet and relaxed for a few moments, before Dean groaned and swung a leg over Cas to straddle his hips. Something seemed to spark between them and Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, tugging sharply, before moving his hands down to Cas’ chest.

“Had to go to bed with clothes on, didn’t ya?” he said. Cas smiled up at him sheepishly as he began to unbutton the angel’s shirt and reached up to run his hands down Dean’s chest. But…there. Cas was holding back; Dean was sure of it.

“Okay, what’s up?” Dean said, abruptly sitting up and abandoning Cas’ shirt. Cas frowned at him.

“Nothing is wrong, Dean.”

“Cas –”

Cas quickly pulled him back down, kissing him fiercely while reaching down to pull at Dean’s pants. For a moment, Dean forgot any objections he might have had. Why worry when he could have awesome sex with his angel? But something began to niggle at his gut. It wouldn’t be right to sleep with Cas again, not when Cas was giving off even a little reluctance!

“Cas – Cas, stop,” Dean panted, pushing Cas’ hands away when he pulled back for air.

“Don’t you want to have sex with me, Dean?”

“Of course I damn well want to. But something’s up with you, Cas. And every time I try to bring it up, you frigging kiss me until I forget.”

Dean slid off Cas and hauled his angel into a sitting position.

“So talk. I know you don’t like my body. Do you really want to have sex with me? Do you really hate it that much? Or are you just doing it to make me happy?”

“Of course I enjoy sleeping with you, Dean,” Cas said firmly. “If I truly disliked it then I would tell you.”

“But you don’t want to.”

“Dean –”

“Be straight with me, angel. I gotta know. I can’t keep sleeping with you if I know you don’t want it.”

Cas looked down at his hands, which were fidgeting in his lap. Dean leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Please, Cas. Just tell me what’s up. We’re in this together, remember?”

Cas nodded. Finally, he looked up and opened his mouth.


	22. Bowel Movement Scene?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**22\. Sit and talk**

"I do enjoy sex with you, Dean," Cas began. "The sensations are pleasant and there is nobody else that I would rather do it with."

"But?" Dean prompted. Cas sighed and Dean could sense his focus intensifying on his hands and lap.

"But we have it so often that sometimes, I wonder if that's all I am good for to you."

Dean's blood ran cold at those words. How the hell could Cas think that? He loved the angel! God, if Cas had just told him, he would've been perfectly fine with backing off! And now he'd learned that his angel had been suffering because of him!

"Cas –"

"Don't blame yourself, Dean. I can tell what is going through your head and believe me, it's no fault of yours that I'm defective."

" _Defective_?" Dean snapped. Cas actually jumped, which made Dean's stomach lurch because did Cas really rely on what Dean thought about him this much? "Like hell! You're just different! Dammit, Cas, you should've told me you didn't like this crap!"

"I _do_ like it, Dean. You don't seem to understand. I enjoy it but there are just other things that I would rather do. However, sometimes I feel as though you are only interested in me for my body and for the pleasure that I am able to provide you with."

Dean had to jump up and pace around or else he would have completely lost it.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't bring this up because I knew that you would react this way and feel guilty when it's not your –"

"It's not your fault either! Now I just feel even crappier for all the times we've done this stuff together when you wanted to do something else! You should've told me!"

"Why, Dean?" Cas stood up and stepped in front of Dean, who was forced to stop in his tracks. "What good would it have done? I don't hate sex, so it would have been wholly unnecessary –"

" _Wholly unnecessary_? We're a _team_ , Cas! You and me! We're in this together! Or am I on a different wavelength to you?"

"What – no, Dean. We _are_ a team."

Dean grabbed Cas' shoulders and shook – gently enough to startle the angel but not roughly enough to hurt him.

"Then that's why you talk to me, dammit! You might be able to read minds and cheat but I can't! How else am I s'posed to know what you want? It's not all about me!"

"I know –"

"Do you really, Cas? 'Cause I know you'd do anything for me – hell, I'd do anything for you – so I know that 'making a sacrifice' like this is something you'd do. If you don't want sex – or anything – then just frigging tell me! You really think that all I want from you is your dick?"

"I – no. I know that you do love me, Dean. I just – sometimes, I feel –"

Dean let out a noise of frustration before roughly grabbing Cas' face and pulling him in for an aggressive kiss, trying as hard as possible to pour every bit of love he felt for his angel into it. After a moment, he broke away from an alarmed Cas and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing Cas tightly.

"You know I suck with words," he muttered. "And you know that I – y'know – that I need you. I'm just a 'doing' kinda guy. Fuck, Cas, if I'd known that was the message you were getting from it…"

"I'm sorry, Dean. I know that you express your feelings through your actions, which is why I didn't tell you. I knew that you were trying as best as you could."

"No. Don't you dare apologise, angel. Just promise me that you'll _talk_ to me next time. Okay?"

"Okay."

Dean let out a harsh laugh.

"Can I tell you something? Sometimes, I feel like you're only with me to make me happy. I mean, I know that's not it but…I'm used to 'sex and love', y'know. You love someone, you want to fuck 'em. And I know that just because you're not attracted to my body doesn't mean that you don't – that you don't love me –"

Dean nearly choked on those words; on the reminder that there was someone who really did love his broken, worthless ass and actually wanted to be with him and thought that he was worth something.

"– but sometimes, it just gets to me. I know it's not your fault, Cas. I'm just…gettin' used to it. It's not _weird_ but it's not something I'm used to."

Cas pulled back out of the hug to caress Dean's face and give him a soft kiss.

"I _do_ love you, Dean. Never forget that. Just because I feel no sexual attraction towards you does not mean that I don't love you with every fibre of my being. And I'm sorry that I have caused you this pain –"

"What'd I say? No apologising. We both fucked up and we both need to talk to each other better."

Dean sat down on the bed and tugged Cas down, pulling his angel close to him. Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder and, unable to help himself, Dean quickly kissed him on the head.

"I say we have no sex today. None at all."

"Dean, I am more than happy to –"

"I know. We're compromising. It's not all about me, Cas. So this day is all about you – whatever you want."

"Dean –"

"Look at me."

Cas lifted his head to meet Dean's eyes. Dean wanted to kiss him senseless at the look in those bright blue eyes.

"Do you really wanna have sex now, Cas? Be straight with me."

Cas' gaze slid away after a moment.

"No."

"I didn't think so. Now, you've been doing so much compromising for me, so it's my turn. We're doing whatever you want today, Cas. And if you ever don't feel like sex, just _tell me_. 'Cause if you don't want it and we still do it, that's _wrong_."

Dean leaned in to kiss Cas.

"But more than that, it makes me feel crap. You don't wanna hurt me? Well, I don't wanna hurt you. It goes both ways, Cas. You capiche?'

Dean could have sighed in relief when he saw the understanding in Cas' eyes.

"I – I capiche."

"Good."

Grinning in relief, Dean pressed his lips to Cas' again and this time, Cas reciprocated, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck to deepen the kiss. Dean groaned into Cas' mouth

"So, what do you wanna do? I'll do anything – within reason. I'm not fucking around with Baby or anything."

Cas laughed and the sound was music to Dean's ears. He should've known that the guy he'd fall so deeply for would turn out to have just as many issues as him – hell, they were pretty much perfect for each other. Somewhere in the universe, someone was laughing their ass off at this 'match made in Heaven'.

"I would never ask that of you. I know that we are on a road trip and therefore, we use a car to travel to our destinations but…"

"Where do you wanna go?"

"I have no particular place in mind. However, I want to take you to a place that you have always wanted to go to."

"Cas –"

"I'm not doing this to 'compromise' or 'make a sacrifice', Dean. You said yourself that we are a team and nothing would bring me greater pleasure than to take you somewhere that would bring you great joy."

Dean bit his lip.

"Well…" he said slowly. "When I was a kid, I always wanted to see the Great Barrier Reef. I mean, I knew it'd never happen but –"

"Do you want to go there?"

"Dean blinked and stared at Cas, who was regarding him with a soft smile.

"Uh…sure. Yeah."

With a quick kiss, Cas touched two fingers to Dean's forehead and Dean's surroundings shifted.


	23. Finding Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> The Great Barrier Reef location idea came from one of my best friends, so thanks to her! And it's even more awesome because I've actually been there. So if you come to Australia, you MUST go there!
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**23\. Romantic vacation**

The first thing that Dean registered when his surroundings reformed around him was the smell of salt in the hot breeze. He then took in the soft, crunchy, blinding sand under his feet and the glimmering expanse of blue right in front of him.

"Is this satisfactory, Dean?" Cas said. "I had to take us back several hours in time because in our current time, it is night in Australia."

Dean just shook his head, his mouth wide open.

"I – wow," he finally croaked. "Cas, I – you're amazing, man."

The proud smile on Cas' face made Dean's insides flutter. Grinning widely, he grabbed Cas by the lapels, pulled him close and kissed him. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and chuckled into the kiss.

"I'm glad that you're happy, Dean."

"Happy? Dude, this is _awesome_!"

Dean slid his hands under Cas' trench coat and began to push it off. Cas frowned at him for a moment before his face cleared.

"We are swimming in the nude?"

"Not like we can swim in our clothes. But if you don't wanna –"

"Dean, hurry up and undress me."

Once they were both naked, Dean grabbed Cas' hand and tugged him towards the water. When they were out deep enough, Dean reclined on his back and simply drifted in the warm ocean.

"The reef is further out, Dean," Cas said. "If you're worried about the depth, I will ensure that you do not drown."

"I'm relaxing, Cas," Dean said lazily. "This water's great. I've never felt water this warm!"

After a while, Cas took Dean by the hand and guided him out far deeper. Under the surface, Dean could see schools of fish swimming around their legs and coral of all different shapes dotted around them and – and was that a turtle?

"I'd forgotten how beautiful my Father's creations could be," Cas said softly. "This was one of the things I always liked to watch from Heaven but…it's so much better up close."

Dean took a deep breath and dived under the water to get a closer look at the reef. He was sorely tempted to touch a bit of coral or try and catch a fish but somehow, even the thought of messing with this amazing habitat was sacrilegious.

"This is so cool, Cas!" Dean said when he came up for air. "Man, what did I do to deserve you?"

Cas just smiled, cupped his face and kissed him.


	24. King Castiel the Dorky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I'm kinda glad to have that bit of angst out of the way. Not because I didn't like it but because this is my happy place and too much angst really brings my mood down, even though I ironically need it to really get my creative juices flowing.

**24\. Treat partner like king/queen**

When Dean woke up that morning with an idea floating in his head, he knew that he had to do it. One look at Cas, whose eyes were closed and who had a content smile on his face as he held Dean close to him, simply reinforced that.

Impulsively, he leaned over to give Cas a kiss. Cas' eyes flew open and he immediately responded, pulling Dean on top of him and wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.

"Mornin', angel," Dean murmured into the kiss.

"Good morning, human. Are we going to have sex?"

"Only if you want to." Dean captured Cas' lips again, enjoying the heat surging through him at being so close to his angel. "But I had another idea in mind."

"Oh?"

Dean sat up and slipped off Cas, pulling his angel into a sitting position and then holding him close.

"You've done so much for me, Cas. So damn much. And I know that you've fucked up and so have I but I didn't throw away my whole family and my home for some guy with a tonne of issues."

"Dean –"

"So I'm spoiling you today. Whatever you want. You're the king today, angel. And don't turn it back on me and say that 'whatever makes me happy makes you happy'."

"But it's true. Your enjoyment brings me pleasure. I can't ask you to treat me as a king and use you in that way. If you're only doing this because –"

"Hey, I love doing this. I used to do this to Lisa sometimes – I'd wake up and just be in the mood to treat her like a queen for a day. And she loved it too." Dean grimaced. "Okay, rule one. Don't talk about exes, especially not in bed."

Cas tilted his head.

"Why? Is it supposed to incite feelings of envy? I don't feel at all envious or threatened, Dean. I know that you are in love with me, not her, and that the only love you harbour towards her is not romantic, deep as it is. I would hope that you feel no envy towards any exes that I may have had, if I did have any."

Speechless, Dean shook his head and pulled Cas in for another kiss.

"You see? You're perfect, Cas. I don't know what I did to deserve you –"

"Do we have to have another conversation along those lines, Dean?"

Dean snorted.

"Nah, that'll just make me feel weird again."

Cas' face softened and he reached out to caress Dean's cheek. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"I can't wait for the day that you truly believe that you deserve my love, Dean. Do you really think that I would have 'settled for you' – much less rebelled against my family and my home and endangered myself numerous times – if you hadn't earned it?"

Dean shivered when Cas brushed gentle fingers down his back.

"I get it. But this day's about you, Cas, not my messed-up feelings. What do you want your humble servant to do first?"

He grinned playfully at Cas, who let out a chuckle.

"I don't know. The kings of old were notorious for being less than kind to their inferiors. If I am to be a king for a day –"

Dean let out a snort and shook his head.

"Man, you don't get it."

"What sort of things am I to ask you to do?"

"Y'know, stuff like massages or getting you a drink or kissing you – stuff like that. Not actual servant stuff from those days. It's supposed to be 'cute'."

He nearly gagged at the word but Cas didn't seem to notice.

"Ah. I see." Cas shifted closer to Dean, smiling. "In that case, I would like you to 'kiss me senseless', as you once described it. Then you can give me a shower and we can go out for breakfast and I'll decide what to do next once you have eaten."

Dean grinned widely and pulled Cas into his lap.

"Whatever you say, angel."


	25. Sap, Sugar, Fluff and Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**25\. Watch the stars**

"Alright, I gotta pull over," Dean said abruptly as he began to slow Baby down. "We're not gonna find a motel tonight, so we'll just have to sleep in Baby."

"I could –"

"No. We're not flying on this road trip. I mean, Australia was an exception and if we're on a hunt then sure, but no. And besides, this isn't the first time we've slept in the car."

Once the car had stopped, Dean turned to Cas.

"You sticking around, Cas? 'Cause you don't need sleep and there's only room for one of us in the front, so you'll be stuck in the back all night."

Cas shifted closer and pressed his lips to Dean's.

"The back seat is fine, Dean. I may not be able to hold you but I can still watch you."

Dean glared at Cas, though with no heat.

"Man, you gotta stop being creepy."

Cas chuckled and kissed Dean again before disappearing with the familiar sound of rustling wings. Dean jumped and a moment later, the angel reappeared in the back seat.

"You couldn't get out like a normal person?"

Cas smiled mischievously. Dean narrowed his eyes.

"You're fucking with me. When'd you get a sense of humour?"

"I believe that I have picked up on yours, so this is entirely your fault."

Dean had to concede the point and shrug; that _was_ something he'd do if he had wings.

"Whatever. 'Night, angel."

"Goodnight, human."

Dean stretched out, trying to find a comfortable position and grimacing until he finally found a way of lying down that only had one seatbelt buckle digging into his side. Knowing that this was as comfortable as he was going to get, he closed his eyes and tried to shut down his racing mind. But since when had he ever been successful in something like that? Groaning, he shifted and let out a grunt when something jabbed his knee. Immediately, fingers ran through his hair.

"Are you okay, Dean? Can't you sleep?"

"'M fine," Dean muttered, wishing that there was enough room for Cas to hold him. Now that he had to sleep without his angel next to him, it began to dawn on him just how much better he'd been sleeping since Cas had joined him in bed and, faced with reminders on all sides that Cas wasn't next to him tonight, it seemed far more impossible that he was going to get to sleep.

"Alright," he said suddenly, sitting up. "I give up."

"What's wrong, Dean?"

"My mind. It's going at a million miles an hour and I can't fucking shut it off."

Cas leaned over the back of the front seat to give Dean a hug.

"You need to calm yourself and allow your mind to relax."

Dean snorted.

"You say that but how? Not like you've ever gone to sleep before. And no, I ain't meditating or doing any of that hippie crap."

Cas gave him a stern look.

"Meditation is actually extremely beneficial and it is the state that I enter when you sleep and I remain with you all night. But I had another idea in mind."

"Yeah?"

"You have been confined in this car all day. Maybe some fresh air will allow you to relax."

It couldn't hurt to try. Dean shrugged and opened the shotgun door.

"Alright, I'm up for it."

Immediately upon closing the car door behind him, Dean was assaulted with chilly night air and although he shivered violently, he had to admit that it was doing the trick; already, his mind felt less heavy and far freer. When a pair of warm arms encircled him, he leaned back into the touch and sighed happily as delicious warmth surged through him.

"You were right, Cas. Getting out of the car's really helping."

Cas frowned.

"Yes but you're cold now."

"Nothing I can't handle. And you're helping with that."

Cas let go of Dean, who began to shiver again as the chill invaded his body. However, it was only for a brief moment to shuck off his trench coat, which the angel then draped over Dean.

"Don't you –?"

"I don't feel the cold if I choose not to. And you clearly need this more than I do."

Dean grinned thankfully as he slipped his arms into the sleeves of the coat and wrapped it around himself. Unable to help himself, he began to sniff it and nearly melted at the near-overwhelming smell of Cas that emanated from it; ozone and rain and something warm and rich and another thing that he couldn't describe but was still just so Cas. Maybe there _was_ something to teenage girls stealing their boyfriends' sweaters. Not that he was a teenage girl or anything!

"Is something the matter, Dean? Does the coat smell? I can clean it if you –"

"Don't you dare! Smells like you. Love it. And – and you."

Cas beamed brilliantly, his teeth gleaming in the dark, and Dean let out a shaky laugh when he realised that this was the closest he'd come to telling his angel that he loved him. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean again and guided him to sit down next to the car, where they leaned against Baby. Having Cas' arms around him was already helping to relax him and, desperate for more of his angel's touch, he snuggled into Cas' side and rested his head on Cas' shoulder. So what if this was the girl's position? He'd already gotten high off his boyfriend's coat, so he couldn't possibly get any girlier.

"I don't remember much about when I was created," Cas began, his eyes fixed on the stars above them. Dean followed his gaze, wondering what Cas was staring at and what he could see that normal human eyes couldn't. "But I do remember the stars being one of the first things that I saw. I was immediately entranced by their beauty, while most other angels simply saw them as another of Father's creations, and that was when I fell in love with His work. I suppose that's also why I fell for humanity; maybe I saw something in them that my brethren did not, just like the stars."

Dean wanted to kiss Cas senseless but his limbs were heavy and his eyelids were beginning to droop. He settled for mouthing a messy, sleepy kiss on Cas' neck.

"I would always take any chance that I could to fly among the stars and admire them closely as a fledgling. Many a time, Heaven would have to send another angel to retrieve me. But I was never punished very severely: mostly lectures about wasting my time with frivolous flights when I could be training to serve Heaven. Perhaps it was because it was Father's work and they were pleased that I found such beauty in it."

Dean struggled to keep his eyes open, to keep listening to Cas' story, but it was getting harder and harder to do so.

"But humans are far more beautiful. There is a spark in every human – even the bad ones – that nothing else can come close to matching. I think I see why Father declared humans His best creations; there is something so inherently unique about you, something unmatchable by any other creation. Even angels. I wish that my brothers and sisters could see what I see because falling for humanity – and you – was one of the best decisions of my life. I have learned so much…and yet they still continue to condemn humans as inferior. They don't understand. They don't see what I see."

Dean was jolted awake by small tremors as the chill began to get to him again. Cas leaned forward for a moment and then something soft was encircling Dean, cocooning him in a blanket of warmth and obscuring his vision with black. Opening his eyes a fraction, Dean saw that it was Cas' big black wings and he grinned sleepily and nuzzled into the one closest to him, chuckling when Cas shivered.

"I love you, Dean. And I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for me. You think that you corrupted me and tore me away from my home but you couldn't be more wrong. You opened my eyes to the beauty of humans and to the corruption in Heaven and taught me that I will always have a choice. And I will choose you every time."

Something hot seemed to shoot through Dean from his stomach. Nearly asleep by now, it was all he could do to keep listening.

"I suppose that is the beauty of free will. Every choice we make has consequences, and we have to live with them. But there is something so incredibly empowering about having the freedom to make these choices and then to live with the consequences, which you can choose to rise to and become stronger by or admit defeat to. And so long as you never admit defeat, Dean, I also will not. You are so much stronger than you realise, to always keep fighting and to never give in despite the bad circumstances you face time and time again. Do you know what I most admire about you? The fact that you have felt so close to giving up time and time again but you haven't – you have chosen to keep fighting, to keep saving people, to keep taking care of your brother and to keep loving. Any other man in your position would crumble long before now. I just hope that one day, you can see yourself as I see you and realise what an incredible man you are, despite your flaws. But humanity's flaws are what makes them perfect; they change and grow from them. Angels are 'flawless', hence why they are so stagnant and resistant to change. And as much as I loathe my own flaws, I am also proud to have them. They remind me who and what I fought for."

If Dean wasn't this far gone, he would have protested against Cas' glowing words about him. But at this point, he was practically already asleep and the last thing he remembered was feeling Cas kiss him on the head and murmur, "Sleep well, Dean. I'll watch over you."


	26. Afterglow Cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to KMB for your comment :)

**26\. Lightly kiss collarbone and whisper 'I love you'**

If anybody had walked into the motel room at that moment, they would have been greeted with the possibly traumatising sound of satisfied panting coming from two sweaty men lying limp on their bed – or, to be more accurate, a sweaty man and his equally sweaty male angel (who he was totally gay for). A normal person might scream and slam the door behind them as they sprinted away; Sam Winchester would roll his eyes and back away with a scorching remark; and an omniscient, all-seeing narrator would smile victoriously because His OTP was damn awesome and nobody would sink His ship.

But nobody was going to walk in on them. Who would?

"That was awesome," Dean grinned, staring at the ceiling in spaced-out bliss. Letting his head loll, he saw that Cas was smiling at him and he reached out and fumbled for his angel's hand. "You like that, Cas? Was it good for you?"

"It was very enjoyable." Cas shifted over and Dean immediately pulled him into an embrace, lightly running his hand up and down Cas' back. Cas purred and nuzzled into the crook of Dean's neck. "I'm not fragile, Dean. Sex with you is very pleasant. You don't have to enquire every time we sleep together."

"Well, I kinda do. You're my angel and I don't wanna end up hurting you, so I'm damn well making sure that you're enjoying yourself."

"I understand. Thank you, Dean."

Dean buried his nose in Cas' damp, stormy-smelling hair and began to press small kisses.

"If it's really annoying you that much, I'll stop," he murmured.

Cas rested an arm on Dean's stomach and began to trace patterns on his chest. Dean shivered when Cas' fingers skimmed over his nipples.

"It's not annoying. It's actually rather sweet that you care so much."

Dean groaned.

"Don't ever say sweet in relation to me again. I ain't sweet. I'm manly and badass."

Cas chuckled, reaching up to caress Dean's cheek.

"Of course you are, Dean. You're very tough and I enjoy the feel of your muscles and your body."

Dean preened under the praise. Cas raised his head and planted a trail of soft kisses along Dean's collarbone, Dean making pleased noises under his attention.

"I love you, Dean," Cas whispered. "I love you so much. Ever since I cradled your damaged soul close as I raised you from Perdition and then remade every atom of you. I wish you could see just how beautiful you are and just how much I love you."

Dean squirmed under this angel's words, even though a tiny bit of him shamelessly enjoyed it. Maybe one day, he'd actually believe the things that Cas said about him. He hoped so, for Cas' sake.


	27. Downtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Sorry if it's crap but my head's killing me and my brother's coughing woke me up too damn early. But he's family, so I'll lend him my Supernatural blanket because he's freezing (and threaten him with grievous bodily harm if he gets snot on it).
> 
> Also, check out my new oneshot, 'Urban Dictionary'!

**27\. Surprise partner when busy by asking 'What can I do to help?'**

"Dean, may I shower alone?"

Dean blinked at Cas, who was covered in blood and slime after their latest hunt; some werewolf who had been terrorising chicks that wouldn't go out with him in human form.

"Sure," he said, more harshly than he intended. "I'll just clean my guns. Tell me when you're done."

He plopped down on the bed, dumping his duffle bag next to him and refusing to look at Cas as the angel disappeared into the bathroom. Why'd Cas suddenly want to shower alone? They always showered together! And it wasn't like anything happened every single time they had a shower!

' _Maybe he's finally starting to get sick of you,'_ a small voice said nastily. Dean ruthlessly squashed it down; Cas loved him! He wasn't getting sick of him! But, Dean being Dean, a sliver of doubt gnawed at his stomach until he had to rip open his bag, yank a gun out and begin the methodical task of cleaning his weapons. He was so absorbed in his task that he didn't notice the sound of the shower turning off, nor the arrival of Cas until his angel was standing right in front of him.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas said worriedly. "Did I hurt you by requesting to shower alone?"

"No," Dean muttered. "I'm fine, Cas."

Cas clearly didn't believe him, as he sat down on the bed and slipped an arm around Dean. Dean didn't pull away but he didn't return the hug either.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I –"

"Don't apologise," Dean snapped. "You're allowed to shower alone. I'm just being a possessive bitch."

"But I hurt your feelings."

"Yeah and I'll get over it. You don't have to feel obligated to do something just 'cause of me. Just caught me unawares because we always shower together."

"I simply wanted some time to myself to sort out my thoughts. If I'd known –"

Now feeling like a jerk, Dean threw his gun down on the bed, grabbed Cas by his bare shoulders and pulled him in for a rough kiss.

"Don't you listen, angel? Don't apologise. I should apologise for being the bitch here. I don't own you or have a right to you just 'cause you're my angel."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Dean."

"And neither do you. I get my alone time and I should've known that you'd want some downtime too. Just drop it, okay?"

Cas fell silent. Dean could sense that the matter was far from over but neither of them wanted to poke that hornet's nest at the moment, so it remained untouched.

"Can I help you clean your guns?"

Dean started and frowned at Cas.

"What?"

"I want to do something with you, Dean. What can I do to help?"

A small smile broke out on Dean's face.

"Lemme finish cleaning this gun and I'll show you how it all works. 'Kay?"

Cas shifted closer and pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek.

"Okay."


	28. Dean Has a Wing Fetish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> My support and condolences to Belgium and the city of Brussels – I'm with you guys :( Also, a short one because I had a long day at work, I'm sniffly, I'm eating ice cream for dinner and I've just finished mourning the anniversary of MCR breaking up (ahahahaha kill me).
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**28\. Kiss and smell partner's hair**

The sound of rustling wings snapped Dean out of his trance and he looked up from the car magazine he'd been idly flipping through to see Cas standing in front of him with windswept hair and sparkling blue eyes. He grinned widely.

"Have a nice flight?" he said, throwing his magazine aside. Cas nodded, smiling and stripping out of his trench coat and suit jacket.

"Yes. Thank you, Dean. I know that you don't like me to fly, since we are on a road trip, but –"

"Dude, don't even go there. You need to stretch your wings. Just so long as we're not zapping around everywhere. It'd be like you saying that I'm not allowed to drive Baby at all."

Cas' smile grew bigger. Now devoid of any clothing above the waist, he quickly took his shoes and socks off and then closed his eyes. Dean grinned widely when Cas' massive black wings shimmered into existence behind him.

"You spoiling me, angel? You know I love touching your wings."

"This is my way of thanking you," Cas said, crawling up the bed. Dean sat up and held out his arms and let Cas shift and arrange himself in his embrace until he was comfortable in Dean's lap, his wings wrapped around Dean like a soft cocoon.

"You don't _need_ to thank me. You're an angel, man. Flying's what you do. But I'm not gonna say no to this."

Cas rested his head against Dean's shoulder and purred softly as Dean lightly ran absent fingers through his feathers. On impulse, Dean buried his face in Cas' hair and breathed in the beautiful, stormy smell of ozone and crisp air. It was such a Cas smell and Dean's stomach did a flip-flop, as it always did, when the smell invaded his nostrils.

"You're awesome, man," he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to Cas' hair. "You got no idea how much I need you."

Cas' feathers fluffed up and his wings tightened around Dean.

"I do know, Dean."

"You don't. You really don't, angel. And – y'know – one day I'll say it."

Cas leaned up to kiss him.

"I know. Don't be in any hurry, human. I know that you love me back. You show me with every day that passes."


	29. Christmas Stinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> I dunno why I’m writing a Christmas themed chapter but hey, just roll with it.
> 
> Also, NSFW because I haven’t done a smut in a little while.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**29\. Create own special holiday**

_‘Fantastic,’_ Dean thought sullenly. The snow softly falling outside their window and the many different coloured flashes of light all pointed to a very obvious conclusion: it was Christmas. But Dean hadn’t celebrated Christmas since he was fourteen, with the one before he went to Hell being the only exception. And now that his angel was road-tripping with him and they weren’t under any pressure to save the world, Cas was going to expect them to celebrate Christmas. And Dean didn’t do Christmas.

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Cas said, twisting to look up at Dean from where he was wrapped loosely in Dean’s arms. “I can tell that something is troubling you.”

Dean shifted.

“Nothing.”

Cas gave him a Look.

“Dean –”

“Nothing’s up! Just leave it!”

Dean turned over, his back turned to a bewildered-looking Cas. Guilt bubbled in his stomach but at the same time, this was easier than explaining yet another way he was fucked up and having to bear Cas’ disappointed look at not getting to celebrate his half-brother’s assigned birthday (because yeah, Jesus Christ was technically Cas’ half-brother).

The next morning, Dean’s Christmas started off with him waking to an empty bed. Something leaden seemed to settle in his stomach and he ripped the covers off himself and stormed into the tiny, filthy bathroom for a shower. But Cas must’ve had a shower before him because after a few minutes of fiddling with the taps, he had to accept that lukewarm water was the best he was going to get out of this crappy place.

“Great,” he muttered. “Merry fucking Christmas to me.”

When he skulked out of the bathroom and saw Cas standing there, his mood plummeted even further and he glowered.

“What?” he snapped. “Gonna get me to talk about my feelings again? Just leave me alone!”

Cas’ face immediately darkened. Placing a container down on the bed carefully, he then stormed up to Dean and shoved him back into the wall.

“What is your problem, Dean?” the angel hissed. “I have done nothing to warrant this treatment from you. I know that something is wrong and I will not release you until you tell me.”

Dean raised an eyebrow challengingly. Cas’ scowl deepened and he curled his fingers around Dean’s shoulders and pressed him harder into the wall. Dean wished that he’d put some pants on because an assertive angel was definitely a major turn-on and it was showing.

“Fine. You wanna hear about how I’m so fucked up that I can’t even give you a Christmas? You’re a ‘holy angel’, so of course you’re gonna want to celebrate it. And I can’t just sit down and play happy families because that’s not my thing. So there. Have at me, Cas.”

Cas just stared at him.

“Of all the – Dean, haven’t we spoken about talking to each other?”

Dean just shrugged uncomfortably.

“I could not care less about Christmas. It’s not even Jesus Christ’s real birthday! How could you possibly think that I would force you to celebrate a grossly commercialised holiday if you did not want to?”

Dean looked away, his jaw set. Great. Now he’d pissed Cas off and created a huge situation out of nothing and Cas probably hated him and wanted nothing to do with his sorry, broken ass –

“I just wish that you’d talk to me, Dean. Many of our disagreements start because we keep things to ourselves and do not talk to each other.”

Dean made a strange noise. Cas growled and then leaned in and fiercely attacked his lips.

“I was going to wait before giving you the second part of your Christmas present,” Cas muttered. “But you’ve forced my hand, Dean.”

Before Dean could say anything, Cas nipped at the pulse in his throat and began to suck a hickey. Dean groaned and closed his eyes and it wasn’t long before Cas latched on to one of his nipples and tweaked it between his teeth.

“Caaaaaasssss….what’re you doing…”

“I propose that we forget about Christmas and celebrate our own holiday. You don’t need to worry, Dean. I couldn’t care less about it if you don’t want it.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something at the same time that Cas wrapped his pink lips around his dick. A choked sound escaped his throat and he could feel Cas actually fucking smile before taking him all the way in, his dick bumping the back of Cas’ throat.

“Fuck, Cas!”

Unable to help himself, he thrust shallowly into Cas’ mouth. Cas reached up and wrapped strong hands around his waist, pinning him to the wall as he worked his magic on Dean’s dick. It wasn’t long before heat began to pool in his stomach and, sweating and panting and writhing, all Dean could do was tangle his fingers in Cas’ hair and tug sharply.

“Cas…Cas…oh, God…keep going, angel…”

When Cas flicked his tongue into Dean’s slit, he lost it and came with a loud howl. His knees suddenly jelly-like and weak, he slumped against the wall and Cas swiftly climbed to his feet and pulled Dean into a hug.

“I love you, Dean.” He kissed Dean, who growled weakly upon tasting himself on Cas’ lips. “Next time something is bothering you, just tell me.”

“‘Kay,” Dean slurred, gripping Cas around the neck and pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips.

“Now, come and enjoy the pie that I got for you and then you can ‘fuck me’ if you wish.”

Dean made a strangled sound and pulled Cas in for a deep kiss.

“You’re the best, angel.”

Cas smiled at the praise.

“I know.”


	30. Unresolved Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Because we all need more eye sex in our lives! (And my archaic English is probably really horrible sue me)
> 
> Also, it's been one month since I started posting this fic and the response to it has been overwhelming! Like 'Moments', I didn't think that this fic would turn out like this and I'm so happy with it!
> 
> And you'll be pleased to know that I have recently stumbled across an idea for my next Destiel prompt fic, which will take place after the Sabriel sequel to this ends in September. That'll carry me through to the end of the year! My year is sorted! :D

**30\. Look into each other's eyes**

"…and if you'd read my report, you'd know that the victim was found with…" the coroner was babbling as they tried to leave after examining the body. Bored out of his brain, Dean began to look around for something – anything – to distract him. His eyes fell on Cas, who was standing stock-still and staring right at the coroner but clearly wasn't taking in a single word.

' _Well, hello there,'_ Dean thought with a grin. He tilted his head, trying to get Cas to look at him without alerting the coroner to the fact that he wasn't paying attention, but Cas didn't look his way. Dean rolled his eyes. Time for plan B.

' _O Castiel of the beige trench coat,'_ he prayed mentally. _'Hear my prayer, you big bag of feathers.'_

Next to him, Cas stiffened and turned his head a fraction. Dean smirked at him.

' _I givest thou mine humble thanks for gracing me with thou presence – and thou ass,'_ he continued. Cas' lips twitched imperceptibly and a slight red flush rose from his collar. _'For thou hath made my life better since gripping me tight and raising me from Perdition. Wouldst thou mindst most terribly raising mine ass from this Hell too?'_

"Dean, we're working!" Cas hissed almost silently. "And your archaic English is terrible! You don't use 'thou' in replacement of 'you'! You use 'thee'! And it's 'thine', not 'your'!"

Dean met Cas' eyes. The first thing he noticed was just how bright blue they were – like the sky had gotten trapped in his eyes or something. Oh crap, was he really being that sappy?

' _If we were not trapped in this prison, I would commit many unholy acts towards thee. I wouldst sink to mine knees as I pulled thine pants down and I wouldst use my mouth to worship thine divine –'_

He broke off when Cas shifted, a slight grimace on his face.

"Crap," he muttered. "Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"

Cas shrugged, though he still continued to stare into Dean's eyes. And Sam wondered why Dean couldn't stop looking at Cas' eyes; how the hell was he supposed to look away from all that blue?

"A little. I don't know what's wrong with me but the thought of se –"

His eyes flew to the coroner.

"– I mean, of this stuff, has been making me feel uneasy as of late. My apologies, Dean."

' _O great Castiel, what hath I said about apologising? Thou shouldst not be sorry for feeling uncomfortable at the thought of partaking in such activities of a sexual nature.'_

"But I know that it can't be easy for you."

Dean rolled his eyes again.

"Terribly sorry but something's come up," he said abruptly. The coroner choked on his words as he tried to shut up. "Thanks for your riveting speech but we must be off."

"Read my report!" the coroner squawked after them. Once outside, Dean tugged Cas behind a wall, then turned and pinned him to it.

"What did I say?" he murmured, pressing small kisses to Cas' mouth and jaw. "I don't care if you don't wanna have sex for a month. Hell, that's why God gave us right hands. I just care that I'm not forcing you into anything and using you as – as a sex slave or something."

"Sex slave would imply that I am unwilling," Cas argued. Dean narrowed his eyes, meeting Cas' gaze again and holding it.

"Just because you're willing to go along with it doesn't mean that you're really willing."

"That's not the point –"

"It is!" Dean barked. "Fuck, Cas, I thought we'd gotten past this! We're a team and that means both of us need to be happy!"

"And you won't be if I am selfish and force you into abstinence simply because I'm uncomfortable."

Dean groaned loudly.

"Alright. You wanna play it like that? Let's talk about how I'd feel if you just went along with it. You think that'd make me happy? You think I'd happily fuck you and get myself off while you just lie there and take it? I'd feel like shit, Cas! I wouldn't be happy! I'd feel even crappier just taking it from you than I would not having it at all! What, did you think that I'd only be upset if I didn't get any? Didn't you think that maybe, I'd feel like an asshole if I got some when you weren't comfortable?"

Cas looked away.

"I never dwelled on it. And I never brought it up because we reached an understanding after our last discussion. I didn't want to cause you more distress than was necessary."

Dean closed his eyes and counted to ten.

"So after all that talk during Christmas about how I need to learn to open up and talk to you more because we're both shit communicators, you go and pull the same crap I did? You're being a hypocrite, Cas!"

"Dean, I'm sor –"

"Quit apologising!" Dean released Cas and took a step back, throwing his hands up and shaking with fury. "Do you know how much it infuriates me that you apologise for things you can't help?"

"But I can help being a hypocrite."

"That's not my point! My point is, you apologise for every little thing! I'm not made of glass, Cas! I've had people tell me to go fuck myself, that I'm a worthless piece of shit, that nobody needs me and I'm gonna die sad and alone. You really think I can't handle you being yourself and having your own opinions?"

Cas tilted his head, frowning.

"I don't want some little trophy wife, Cas! You know why I fell for you? You're smart, you're independent, you're badass, you're loyal, you stand up to me…you're an equal! You're not some giggly little twit who goes along with everything I say just to make me happy! Why do you think I liked Cassie and Lisa? Why do you think I consider them proper exes and not just hook-ups? They weren't afraid to give it to me straight! They told me if I was being a dick! They didn't apologise for everything and you shouldn't either! I _like_ it when you stand up to me. I _like_ it when you tell me what you don't want. I _like_ it when you act like my partner and equal. I _like_ it when you call me out on my bullshit, even if it pisses me off at the time."

Dean grabbed Cas and pulled him into a tight hug. After a moment, Cas' arms carefully encircled him back.

"I like you just the way you are, Cas. I lo – dammit – I love all this crap about you!"

Okay, so that wasn't exactly an 'I love you' yet. But dammit, he was getting there!

"You got that?" he said, stroking Cas' hair and leaving tiny kisses under his ear and along his neck. "I like sex but I like you more. If I wanted some pushover that I could boss around and use, I would've gone and picked up some random chick. I mean, not all of them are like that but a lot of the giggly ones are. Fuck, now I sound like a typical chauvinistic asshole."

Cas chuckled and his arms tightened around Dean.

"It's okay, Dean. I understand what you're trying to say."

He pulled back and then leaned in to softly capture Dean's lips. Dean closed his eyes and kissed back. Sure, rough and passionate kisses were awesome but nothing could compare to these soft, sweet, loving kisses that Cas gave (not that Dean would admit it because that would just be girly).

"Good. Just don't go and be an asshole partner who starts arguments and pisses me off for the hell of it. Those people drive me nuts."

Cas laughed again and rested his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Much as I enjoy friendly bickering, I don't think that I would like constant fighting either. Now, let's return to our motel room so that I can take you to bed and treat you to a massage, my human. Then we can return our attention to this case."


	31. This So Wasn't Meant to be Angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PURE FLUFF DAMMIT

**31\. Let partner sit in lap**

Dean didn't know what it was but there was just something so intoxicating about kissing Cas! Waking up one morning, he grinned when Cas' face immediately appeared above him, favouring him with a soft smile.

"Good morning, Dean."

Dean's grin widened and he reached up to pull Cas down for a slow, deep kiss. Something warm and tingly shot through his body and pooled in his stomach and he wrapped his legs around Cas' waist and pulled his startled angel down on top of him.

"Just wanna lie here and kiss you, angel," he mumbled sleepily, resting one hand on the back of Cas' neck and tangling the other in his dark hair. "You really dunno what you do to me."

Cas hummed into the kiss. After a moment, he pulled away. Dean groaned in disappointment, until he realised that Cas had simply sat up so that he could pull Dean up as well and tug him into his lap.

"I much prefer to kiss you this way," Cas said, cupping Dean's face with one hand and softly caressing his cheek. "I can hold you closer. And it feels nice to have you sit in my lap."

Dean smirked and deliberately shifted so that his ass ground down. Cas' eyes flew shut and he let out an involuntary gasp.

"That okay, angel? Not too much?"

"I – am fine with clothed teasing," Cas said in a slightly breathless voice. "I think that I may even be okay with sex later. I have been feeling more and more inclined to it as of late. I don't know why my desire fluctuates like this."

"But you still don't feel 'man, I'd tap that ass' towards me?"

Cas took a moment to process the statement.

"My lack of sexual attraction will never change. But what will also never change is the love I feel for you. In fact, I am rather grateful in a way that I don't feel physically attracted to you."

Dean frowned at him.

"Why?"

"Because then I can't confuse lust with love. Processing emotions as an angel is difficult enough and I know that even humans can get confused with what they are feeling. It seems…easier for me. If I did feel sexually attracted to you, I would probably constantly wonder if I was feeling lust or love in that moment. But this way, I know that I feel nothing but love."

Dean grinned again giddily and leaned in for another kiss.

"Well, when you put it that way," he murmured and kissed Cas again. "Y'know I like you just the way you are, right? Remember what I told you after I totally butchered that archaic English? I love all the bad stuff about you as well as the good stuff. Not that your asexuality is bad, 'cause that's not what I meant."

Cas gave Dean one of the widest smiles he'd ever seen on his angel's face and softly captured Dean's lips.

"Don't ever change, Cas," Dean rasped. Cas let out a low laugh.

"So long as you don't change, Dean. I also love all of your forthcomings just as much as I love your positive attributes."

Dean didn't know what to make of the warm fuzziness that was trickling through him, making him feel light and dizzy and just really weird. He knew exactly what it was but he hadn't felt this in so long and God, he was actually a bit terrified of just how deeply in love he was with this angel. Cas must have noticed the look on his face because he tilted his head.

"What's wrong, Dean? I can tell that something is bothering you."

"Nothing's wrong, Cas," Dean replied. Cas gave him a sceptical look. "I'm serious. Nothing's really wrong. I'm just figuring shit out in my head."

Cas planted a gentle kiss on Dean's forehead.

"Tell me. Maybe I can help you 'figure this shit out'."

Dean nearly choked at Cas' use of profanity.

"You're making me feel things, angel. I know exactly what those things are 'cause I felt them before…with Cassie. And Lisa. And…I dunno, I s'pose I'm scared."

Okay, this stuff with Cas really was serious if he was willingly talking about his feelings like some sort of chick!

"Why are you scared, Dean?"

"Because you can hold your own and you're badass, so I can't just leave you behind like I did with Cassie and Lisa. But having you out there means I can lose you. And…I haven't felt this stuff since Lisa. You know what it is, I just can't say it yet. Saying it would make it real and if it's real, the bad shit can get you and take you away from me. I said it to Mom and look what happened there. I said it to Dad once and that didn't end well. I said it to Sammy when he was a kid and…well, I don't even need to go into that. Hell, I even said it to Cassie just before I spilled about this supernatural shit and she dumped my ass. I didn't say it to Lisa but that still went sideways."

Dean looked away because if he had to keep staring at the love in Cas' eyes, he was probably going to break down like a loser.

"I can't lose you, Cas," he said in a voice that he refused to admit was slightly choked. "I've lost nearly everyone I care about. Hell, even Sam's died a few times. You've died twice already. Bobby's the only one of us with a clean slate and we still gotta figure out how to get his soul back from that snake, Crowley. I'd be helping him and Sam now if they hadn't kicked me out and told me to go on this road trip with you."

"You won't lose me, Dean," Cas said firmly.

"But what if I do, Cas? I know I can't just keep you wrapped up in bubble wrap here because you'll get pissed at me. And I know you can take care of yourself. But if you do croak again, who's to say that your Dad'll bring you back this time? And angels don't even go to Heaven when they die!"

Dean blinked rapidly to stave off the stinging in his eyes. He was a man, dammit! He didn't cry! Cas gave him a gentle smile before pulling Dean's head to rest on his shoulder.

"I don't plan on dying, Dean," Cas said softly, stroking Dean's hair. "I plan on living until you are old and then following you to Heaven – and if you go to Hell, I will simply descend and raise you again. You are an amazing man and you don't know how touched I am that you feel this way towards me. I will always be grateful that you chose me as your lover out of anybody you could have had."

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and squeezed.

"You're mine," he murmured. "My angel. No one else can have you. I'll salt and burn 'em."

Cas purred softly and kissed the top of Dean's head.

"And even if I did die, I would die happy. You gave me a purpose, Dean. You gave me something to fight for. If I was to die, I would be satisfied because I achieved good in my life thanks to you and I got to love you. But I won't die. I know you won't let me."

Dean groaned softly.

"Man, I'm such a chick. Damn you, Cas. Only you could make me talk about my feelings."

"I like it when you talk to me, Dean. It makes me feel trusted and loved. When we began this relationship, I was worried that talking about our feelings would be forbidden and we would have to navigate based on implications and unspoken cues, which I am terrible at interpreting. But I feel so much more love for you when you are talking to me about your feelings. It tells me that you trust me enough to confide in me."

"Fine. But you're the only one I ever do this shit with. I don't even sit down and braid Sam's hair – God knows he needs it, though."

"I don't understand. We have not been braiding each other's hair."

Dean snorted.

"Never change, angel."

_Extra:_

"Of course I'll bring Castiel back if he dies!" God exclaimed in outrage. "You think I'm letting my ship sink now that it's sailed?"

He snatched up His nearly empty bottle and took a long swig.

"Why do you think I kept bringing him back? Sure, he's my favourite but he needs to be in one piece for my OTP to be canon!"

God eyed His drained bottle and groaned.

"I'm gonna need more whiskey to deal with this emotionally constipated asshole."


	32. The 'M-Word'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I think we're due for another wing kink chapter! Love me some wing kink! *drools* It was gonna be NSFW but smut didn't seem to fit in this chapter, so I didn't force it.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind for your comment :)

**32\. Groom partner**

"What's up with you?" Dean said as Cas shrugged his shoulders yet again. "You've been squirming all day. Ants in your pants?"

Cas grimaced and rolled his shoulders.

"No, I don't have ants in my pants. I have not encountered any ants today, much less let them into my –"

"Just a saying, man. Got something bothering you?"

"Oh. Yes. My wings…they have not been groomed in a while. They are starting to become unkempt and if the problem is not rectified, I may lose my ability to fly until it is."

Dean shot Cas a surprised look.

"And you didn't think to mention this earlier?"

Cas shrugged.

"I didn't think it was of import."

"Well, that's bullshit. Bring your wings out, angel. I'm gonna groom them for you."

"Dean, are you sure?" Cas said in alarm. "Grooming – it's only done between the angel and their most trusted companions."

"You saying you don't trust me?" Dean said, unable to deny that that stung. Cas immediately backtracked.

"No. I trust you with my life, Dean. You've already touched my wings but grooming…it's so much more intimate. If – if an angel has a mate, then only their mate is permitted to groom their wings for them."

"And you didn't have a mate up in the clouds?"

Cas gave Dean a Look.

"If I had a mate in Heaven then would I be with you?"

Dean tried to deny it but he couldn't help revelling in the warm, tingly, fuzzy feeling that crept through him, as though he'd drunk a hot chocolate.

"How do angel mates work, anyway? Bring your wings out and lemme groom them and you can tell me."

Cas hesitated for a moment and then quickly stripped out of the top half of his clothes. Once his bare chest was showing (and Dean was trying not to drool), he closed his eyes and materialised his wings in a heartbeat. Dean could see what he meant by unkempt; the black feathers were still beautiful and soft but they seemed duller than before and several were sticking out.

"At the base of my wings, there should be two small glands," Cas instructed, turning his back to Dean and sitting forward on his haunches. "We don't have these uropygial glands in our true form but these wings are the closest approximation to an angel's wings that your mind can conjure and handle. Since humans see our wings as bird wings, we also have the same parts as birds. One of those parts is the glands, although on birds they are usually located at the base of the tail. We don't have a tail in this form."

"What do they do?" Dean said, feeling along the base of Cas' wings while reeling at the implication that his boyfriend had a tail. He smiled triumphantly when his fingers trailed over a small bump and a soft press made sweet-smelling oil ooze over his hands. "Well, there ya go."

"The – the oil is combed through my feathers to maintain them." Cas sounded noticeably flustered, which Dean filed away for future use. "In our true forms, the oil is produced differently. It isn't even oil. I – I don't know how I could describe it in your language."

"Tell me in Enochian, then," Dean said as he began to rake his fingers through Cas' feathers, which immediately brightened up and became glossy and shiny as Dean worked the oil through them. Cas was silent for a moment but then a stream of harsh-sounding syllables escaped his mouth. Dean blinked.

"Okay, then. Not even gonna pretend that I even understand what that's about."

Cas chuckled.

"Tell me about angel mates, Cas."

"When two angels decide to become mates, they merge their graces to create an unbreakable bond between them. You must understand that angels are different to humans, Dean. With this bond, we don't 'fall out of love'. It's not something to be taken lightly. Not even Michael could break a mate bond. Without this bond, we are free to take another mate if we wish but most angels only ever have one mate."

"So, what, the bond forces you to stay in love with your mate?"

Cas sighed in frustration, then moaned when Dean trailed his fingers over one of his hot spots.

"You're still thinking in terms of human emotions, Dean. Angel emotions are…simpler. One reason we can be described as stagnant is because we don't feel different emotions as frequently as humans do. Our range is limited as it is. But we can be taught. I'm a prime example. I may be slow sometimes but I exhibit more emotion than my brethren, even if I can't always describe it."

"So, what, the bond just…solidifies your feelings?" Dean said, spreading oil down the primary flight feathers on the wing he was working on. Cas shuddered.

"Yes. It may seem barbaric to you, to have two beings chained together in that way, but to angels it is a beautiful and much desired thing."

Dean grimaced as he moved on to the other wing. It was easy to forget that his lover wasn't even human and he hadn't even spared a thought for the fact that angels were a different species and therefore had different mannerisms and customs.

"Sorry. I keep forgetting that angels aren't humans. And I don't mean that in a –"

"I know what you mean, Dean. I'm actually rather pleased that I can educate you about my kind, since you have been providing me with education on yours."

They fell silent before Dean just had to ask the question burning in his mind.

"So…say a human and an angel loved each other. And they knew they wanted to be together forever, as cheesy as that sounds. Would the bond work with them?"

Cas stiffened but melted when Dean brushed his fingers through a clump of feathers.

"Dean, if you're insinuating what I think –"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I don't think I'm anywhere near that ready for that sorta commitment. I'm just curious."

Cas sighed.

"I must admit…the thought of you as my mate? There is nothing I would love more. But the bond is unbreakable, Dean. Your soul would act in place of your grace; you would be bound to me forever and vice versa. If you ever grew tired of me, there would be no escape."

"Wow. That's…heavy."

"Yes. Angels take commitment very seriously. We used to watch human marriages – a 'mockery of angel bonding', we called it – from Heaven and laugh at and scorn them when they failed and deteriorated, or when they were arranged for convenience and not out of love."

Dean snorted and oiled the last few primary feathers.

"You're done, angel."

Cas turned and wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling himself closer so that he was curled up against Dean, his head resting against Dean's collar.

"Thank you, Dean. I love you. There is nobody else I would rather have as my mate."

Dean swallowed at that heavy revelation, because it wasn't every day that an angel told you he'd want to spend the rest of his immortal life with you.

"Uh…thanks, Cas. You too. I mean, with the – y'know – the first part. I just…I've never had a relationship that lasted before, so I dunno if I can say that I'd wanna marry you or anything yet. Hell, I can't even say that word to you yet."

Cas smiled up at him and began to gently kiss along the underside of his jaw.

"I know, Dean. It would be too much to ask, especially at this early stage of our relationship. I wouldn't want you to foolishly rush in to prove your love, or whatever it is that humans say, and then regret it. But I wouldn't mind us never bonding, so long as I get to love you like this."

Dean's stomach jolted. Unable to think of anything to say, all he could do was bury his face in Cas' hair and close his eyes as he breathed in his angel's stormy scent.

"I need you so much, angel. You got no idea."


	33. Can't Get Enough of Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Happy Easter, y'all! Hope you had a great Easter weekend! Me? I spent it working my butt off while hacking my lungs up XD Then I took some tablets a little while ago and it took me half an hour to come down from the high, so if the ending's a bit abrupt or weird then that's why.

**33\. Kiss every chance they get**

The best thing about this road trip, Dean decided, was that he got to kiss Cas whenever the hell he wanted without being made fun of or feeling like he had to restrain himself. If they were back at Bobby's, he was certain that he wouldn't be kissing Cas if Sam or Bobby were around; not because he was ashamed – because he really wasn't – but because Sam and Bobby would inevitably tease him and he'd snap back and a whole mess would be created that could have been avoided had Dean just kept his mouth to himself.

But out here, on the road? He could kiss Cas any damn time he wanted and there wasn't a thing anybody could do about it.

"Is anything the matter, Dean?" Cas said when Dean slid up against him in the car as they pulled over on the side of the road for a break. "You have been very affectionate today."

"I'm not allowed to kiss my angel?" Dean pouted. Cas rolled his eyes; a habit he'd picked up from Dean. Dean wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or not.

"I didn't say that. I was simply observing that you have kissed me more often than usual today."

Dean nibbled on his earlobe for a moment before twisting out of his seat and sliding across to Cas' side, straddling his angel. Cupping Cas' face, he leaned down and captured the plump pink lips in front of him with a possessive growl and Cas immediately parted his lips, letting Dean lick into his mouth.

"Just occurred to me," Dean muttered, stroking his thumbs over Cas' cheeks. "Just the two of us, angel. No Sam or Bobby or anyone around to cockblock. I can kiss you all I want and nobody'll care."

Cas slid his hands up the back of Dean's shirt and scraped his fingernails down Dean's back. Dean shuddered, leaning into the touch and kissing Cas even harder.

"Can – can we move to the back?" Cas forced out, his head tipping back as Dean kissed down his throat and bit down on his pulse point. "I – that feels so good, Dean – I feel that we would be more comfortable there."

With one last quick kiss, Dean managed to untangle himself from Cas before quickly heaving himself over the back of the seat into the back of the car. Once comfortable stretched out over the seat, he held out his arms and caught Cas when the angel tumbled awkwardly on top of him, making him let out an, "Oof!"

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas said breathlessly. Dean let out a winded laugh.

"Takes more than that to break me, angel."

"Good." With that, Cas bent down and began to attack his lips again. Dean was almost embarrassed at the long, low sound that the kiss muffled and, needing him to be closer, he hooked a leg around Cas' waist and pulled his angel down on top of him.

"How far you wanna go?" Dean mumbled, planting tiny kisses down Cas' nose. "'Cause I'm fine with this."

"We can have sex if you wish," Cas said, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his face. "I wouldn't mind. But I was hoping that we could wait until we stopped for the night."

"I can wait, angel. Kinda just wanna kiss your brains out right now."

Dean considered himself a very sexual creature. Sex was something he knew and loved and was intimately familiar with. But right now, just lying in the back and making out with Cas was the only thing on his mind.

It was a while before they finally regained enough of their senses to jump back in the front and set off back towards their daily destination. But Dean took every chance he could to kiss Cas again and again and Cas definitely had no complaints whatsoever.


	34. Green-Eyed Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> This is all your fault, LokiNeedsHugs1031, for sending me that fan art! -_-
> 
> (And no, I certainly don't make a cameo in this chapter. That would be self-insertion and that, dear children, is frowned on in most fandoms. And I'm not even gay. I'm demisexual but I don't care about gender. So this can't possibly be me :P)
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon for your comment :)

**34\. Sit on the same side of a restaurant booth**

"After you, milady," Dean grinned, holding the door of the diner open. Cas gave him a less than amused look as he entered.

"I am not a woman, Dean," he muttered when Dean followed him inside. "Nor am I technically a man. But I can tell when you are mocking me."

Dean just rolled his eyes and tugged Cas towards a booth. Cas slid in gracefully and for a moment, Dean was about to take the opposite side as though they were simply two friends out for breakfast together. But, in a sudden stroke of bold rashness, he threw caution to the wind and sat down next to Cas, who frowned at him.

"I didn't think that you would be comfortable displaying your affection for me so openly," he said. "I know that you still possess insecurities about displaying your relationship with me in public since I am physically male."

Dean raised an eyebrow in response before lifting his right arm, slinging it around Cas' shoulders and tugging his surprised angel close to him.

"Well, y'know what?" he said, revelling in his sudden burst of confidence. "I'm starting to get over that crap. And I'm starting to realise that you're too awesome for me to get wound up over all that. If anyone has a problem then they can go get bent."

Cas gave him a wide smile and slipped an arm around his waist, then took Dean's hand with his other one. Unable to help himself, Dean pressed a quick kiss to Cas' forehead.

"Sorry to interrupt!" a female voice said. Dean jumped slightly when he saw the short brunette waitress, who he was certain hadn't been there before. "Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"Coffee, bacon, eggs and sausages, please, sweetheart," Dean said, flashing her a smile. Her cheeks pinkened and she hastily scribbled down his order.

"A-And you, sir?" she stammered to Cas, who regarded her with a blank face.

"I don't eat."

That statement gained him an odd look.

"He's not hungry," Dean said quickly. Once the waitress was gone, he raised an eyebrow at Cas again.

"What?" Cas muttered.

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

"Nothing."

Dean frowned at him.

"Are – are you _jealous_?"

Cas scowled and looked away. Dean laughed.

"God, you are! I thought you said you don't get jealous!"

"Apparently, I gained a few more human tendencies than I thought," Cas grumbled. Still chuckling, Dean gently turned Cas' head back to face him and kissed his angel on the lips.

"Why the hell are you jealous of some random chick? I would've thought you'd turn into the green-eyed monster when I talk about Cassie or Lisa. They're who I was serious about before you."

"I know. I'm simply being irrational. I know that you would not purposely flirt with her or encourage her. I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey." Dean caught Cas' face by the chin when he tried to turn away again. "Dude, it's normal to get jealous. I'd probably feel the same if someone was flirting with you. Just so long as you know that I'm serious about you, angel. I wouldn't go off hitting on other people when I have you."

"Now I feel even worse," Cas mumbled as Dean planted kisses in his hair. "I didn't doubt you, Dean. I just –"

"Dude, I've been there. I know what it feels like and what it does to your mind. Hell, it's what fucked up one of my flings in the past. Just as long as you know I'd seriously never cheat on you."

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder as Dean idly rubbed his upper arm with the hand around his shoulders. The waitress chose to reappear at that moment with Dean's breakfast and she laid it down in front of him, never taking her eyes off them.

"Anything the matter?" Dean finally said. The girl blushed lightly again.

"Sorry!" she said. "It's just – you're just so cute!"

Dean tightened his arm around Cas.

"Uh, thanks sweetheart but I don't –"

"Oh, not you! I mean, you _are_ cute. I mean the both of you!"

Dean blinked at her dumbly.

"Sorry?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." The waitress ducked her head shyly and continued in a furtive whisper. "I just – I read a lot of gay fanfiction and I'm gay too so whenever I see a gay couple in real life, I can't help myself. It's just so beautiful!"

Dean felt Cas perk up next to him.

"Thank you," Cas said. "I wish more people could see that all love is beautiful. My Fa –"

Dean elbowed him discreetly.

"– I mean, God – is utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. I don't see why people choose to hate others based on their sexuality, or why people think that God believes that a select few should go to Hell based on who they choose to love when there is so much hate in the world already."

The girl grinned widely.

"Hey! Get back to work, Randa!" the plump lady behind the counter said sternly but not unkindly.

"Sorry!" Randa called sheepishly. Once she was gone, Dean smirked at Cas.

"See? Nothing to worry about. You're too awesome to cheat on, angel."

Cas purred softly and trailed tiny kisses along Dean's collar as Dean started on his breakfast.

"When we are alone, I'm going to carefully lie you down and ravish your body with kisses as I make love to you," Cas murmured into his ear. Dean nearly choked on his breakfast.


	35. Midnight Ramblings of a Sleepy Author

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> This was originally an innocent prompt but after last prompt's ending? Nope. Then LokiNeedsHugs1031 requested, so I stayed up till 12:30 in the morning while I was in the mood to deliver, even though it broke my rule of 'daily' writing (though technically, I did finish it the day after last prompt). But I really didn't mean for it to turn into a super massive feels fest and I'm kinda dying inside from all the sugary sweetness.
> 
> But I'm actually really proud of how this turned out, especially compared to the smut of 20. I think my mojo's coming back! :D
> 
> NSFW for quite obvious reasons.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, Shannon_Kind and Fandomedic for your comments :)

**35\. Carry partner to bed**

"Man, I'm beat," Dean groaned, fumbling with the key as he tried to unlock the door of tonight's motel room. "Better hold me up, Cas, or I'm gonna fall over in a minute."

"I highly doubt that," Cas said in amusement. "But if you do fall, I will catch you."

Finally, after several more seconds, Dean managed to get the door unlocked and he shoved it open and staggered into the room. As soon as Cas closed the door behind them, Dean leaned against it with another long groan.

"So exhausted but not sleepy," he mumbled in annoyance, closing his eyes. "Fuck my life."

Cas chuckled softly from somewhere nearby. The next minute, Dean's eyes flew open and he let out an undignified squawk as a strong arm encircled his shoulders and another swept his legs out from under him, so that he was slumped bridal style in Cas' arms.

"Cas! What the hell?" he cried, his arms flying to wrap around Cas' neck.

"I'm taking you to bed, Dean," Cas said, heading for the bed easily as though his arms weren't full of a full-grown man. "I hope you didn't forget my promise to you in the diner this morning."

Dean swallowed heavily as Cas' words came back to him.

"I fully intend to ravish you as I promised. That is, if you're not too tired. Otherwise, I can use a little grace to help you sleep."

"Dude, when do I ever pass up sex when you're offering?" Dean said as Cas gently laid him down on the bed, shivering at the pure love in this one simple gesture. Cas smiled down at him.

"Just relax, Dean. Tonight, I intend to love you as you have loved me previously."

The angel straddled Dean's hips and then bent down to capture his lips in a light kiss. Dean let out a soft groan and reached up to tangle one hand in Cas' dark hair, while the other gripped the nape of Cas' neck tightly and tried to pull him closer. The pace was slow and sweet and one that Dean actually loved more than rough and wall-banging when it came to Cas; it just seemed much more his angel's style and, even though it made Dean sound like a total chick, it was in these tender moments that he could really begin to feel just how much Cas loved him. The mere thought always made his head swim.

"What are you thinking about, Dean?" Cas murmured when he pulled away so that Dean could breathe. Dean wasn't going to respond but then Cas kissed his forehead and nose and cheeks before moving down to his jaw and once he began to softly scrape his teeth down Dean's neck, the man knew he was gone.

"You," Dean murmured, tipping his head back to bare his throat. This simple gesture staggered him just as much as his realisations of Cas' love for him; he was a warrior, a man who showed no weakness to anybody, and yet he was exposing one of his most tender and vulnerable spots to somebody who could quite easily rip it out with their teeth. What always got him the most was just how automatic and unthinking it was when it came to Cas. This perfect, beautiful angel seemed able to push all his buttons, expose all of his weak spots, and he just let him – he just let his angel into every chink in his armour and, as if that wasn't enough, he loved it. No, he fucking _needed_ it. He was _addicted_ to Cas and this was honestly one of the most terrifying things he'd ever encountered because loving someone this much, needing them to this degree…if he ever lost Cas, it would probably be equal to losing Sam. Sam was the only other person he needed this much, and yet it was a different kind of need.

"What about me?" Cas said, biting gently on Dean's collar and sucking to ensure that he left a bright bruise.

"Just…how much you – you love me. Half the time, I can't believe it. And when I do…God, Cas, the things you do to me. I – I need you so fucking much, man. Not for your mojo but for – y'know – you. Fuck, angel, if you died…well, you saw how I lost my shit when Sam died. That's how much I need you."

Dean was blinking rapidly by the end of his little chick flick moment and, reckoning that he'd already lost enough manly points and what did it matter, decided to throw caution to the wind and go full-on girly.

"Promise me, Cas," he said, gripping Cas' face firmly but not painfully. "You fucking promise me that you won't leave me like – like everyone else did. Like even Sam did with Stanford and that Ruby and Lilith thing and other crap. Sure, you've fucked me over before but you've never just _left_ …"

Cas stared at him oddly, his head tilted to the side. Just as Dean began to wonder if he'd made a gigantic dick of himself, Cas sat back on his haunches and hauled Dean into a sitting position before wrapping his arms around Dean and squeezing him in a tight hug.

"I promise, Dean," he breathed in Dean's ear. "I promise that I will never leave you if I can help it. And if I can't help it, I will always come back. I often worry that you will leave me because I wonder how somebody as amazing and beautiful as you could ever love a useless, freak angel like me. So long as you promise not to leave me, I will never leave you."

"You – useless – freak – c'mere, damn you!" Dean growled, pulling back so that he could tug Cas into a searing kiss. He tried to push Cas down onto the bed but his startled angel had just enough wits left about him to resist this and send Dean flat on his back, Dean tugging him down as he went.

"Dean –"

"I don't ever wanna hear that crap outta your mouth again!" Dean tugged Cas' arms out from under him so that Cas ended up sprawling on top of Dean and then he yanked Cas in for another rough kiss. "You're not useless and you're not a freak! Got it? You're awesome – smart – loyal – kind –"

Every word was punctuated with a kiss.

"– freaking amazing. Anyone'd be lucky to have you and I ended up being the lucky bastard. You're _mine_ , Cas. _My_ angel. I don't ever wanna hear you trash-talking yourself again."

"You – you do quite frequently –"

"Yeah? That's different. I'm not the important one, Cas. _You_ are."

Cas pushed himself up, his eyes blazing. Grabbing Dean's wrists, he pinned them above Dean's head and leaned in close.

"You are such an infuriating hypocrite," he hissed. "Telling me not to do one thing while doing it yourself. _You_ are important, Dean. _You_ are the whole reason I'm able to love you in this way and receive your love in return. _You_ taught me free will and _you_ taught me that we should do the right thing, even if it would be easier to give up or abandon our morals. So to hear you speak of yourself in this way…"

Shaking his head, Cas furiously began to unbutton Dean's shirt. However, he clearly decided that the undressing process was taking far too long because, in the blink of an eye, Dean was suddenly naked and assaulted by the cool air around him. Also naked, Cas bent down and planted a sweet, deep kiss right over Dean's heart.

"One day," he murmured. "One day, I will make you see."

Dean sucked in a sharp breath when Cas' lips closed around a stiff nipple and when he lightly scraped it with his teeth, Dean couldn't help the low groan that escaped his mouth. Cas toying with his nipple was like having someone hold a white-hot poker to the small nub but instead of pain, pure pleasure zinged from it like lightning.

"Dammit, Cas!"

Cas smiled and kissed his way across to the other nipple. When he actually gripped it with his teeth and tugged, Dean's hips snapped up and a strangled sound escaped his mouth when his cock dragged against Cas' thigh and heat shot up from the point of contact.

"Not quite yet, Dean," Cas said softly, shifting out of Dean's reach when the man tried to rut against him. "I told you that I would ravish your body and that's exactly what I intend to do."

Dean whined but Cas was unmoved. It seemed like forever before he started to kiss down Dean's stomach but, to Dean's frustrated horror, the angel bypassed his dick completely and left little kisses on the insides of his thighs.

"I don't plan on kissing your entire body. I know that you're not nearly that patient. But every inch of you deserves love, Dean. You're not broken or worthless or evil or undeserving. You're exactly the opposite. You deserve every little bit of love that I and everybody else can give you. I just wish you could see yourself how we all see you."

Dean could have cried happily when Cas finally licked a long stripe up his shaft before taking the head of his dick in his mouth. Gritting his teeth, he couldn't help but whimper and grab large fistfuls of Cas' hair as his angel swirled his tongue and bobbed his head and dipped his tongue into the slit, sending rivers of lava and lightning coursing through Dean in place of blood. How the hell was he supposed to last?

The answer to this became apparent when Cas abruptly pulled off him and leapt off the bed in a split second. Dean whined loudly, wanting his angel's pretty lips back around his cock and sucking him off, but he quickly forgave Cas when the dark-haired angel returned with the bottle of lube from Dean's duffle bag.

"Are you sure about this, Dean?" Cas said softly, coating his fingers in lube. "This is the first time you've been penetrated. If you would prefer –"

"You promised you'd 'make love' to me," Dean whispered darkly, trying not to gag at the overly sappy euphemism for sex. "So help me, Cas, if you don't get your dick inside me…"

Cas let out a low chuckle. Dean experienced a brief moment of nervous doubt – what if it hurt? What did it feel like? Could he really let another guy stick a cock up his ass like some chick or twinkie? – before a finger was slowly pressing inside him and he tensed up at the intrusion.

"Dean, are you okay? Does this hurt?"

His eyes squeezed shut, Dean shook his head.

"Just feels weird."

"Can I keep going?"

"You freaking better!"

Slowly, Cas pumped his finger in and out of Dean and it wasn't long before he added a second. Dean's eyes were still closed because it might not hurt but it felt fucking weird and how gay was it to have someone shoving things up your ass? Sure, he'd fucked Cas but that was different! Cas was the one taking it; it wasn't gay because Dean was the one in the man's position! Could he really let Cas just pound into him like he was a chick?

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't notice that Cas had a third finger inside him until the angel pulled them out. He let out a small sound of complaint at the sudden emptiness, even if a small part of him sighed in relief.

"Are you really sure, Dean? I can see on your face that you have doubts. I will not have sex with you this way if I don't have your full consent. It's not too late for us to switch positions."

Dean forced his eyes open, only to be met with the sight of soft, warm blue eyes above him. He could see nothing but raw love in them and he suddenly knew that he couldn't just back out and bang Cas like he had before. Cas didn't care about gender roles – hell, he didn't even really _have_ a gender – and he sure as hell wasn't going to judge Dean for being the one to take it up the ass. Why should Dean chicken out? Why should Cas be the only one to (literally) get fucked? Why should he let his fears stop him from this?

"Do it, Cas."

"Dean –"

"Just do it!"

He wrapped his legs around Cas' waist to give the angel better access. After a moment, he felt something brush against his entrance and then push in. He groaned loudly at this unfamiliar feeling and tensed, expecting to be split down the middle in a burst of agony…but there was none of that. There was only the sensation of being full and complete and, gripping Cas around the neck tightly, he let his head fall back on the pillow. Cas bowed his head, breathing heavily.

"Dean…you feel amazing," he rasped. Dean whined in frustration at the fact that his angel wasn't moving.

"Move, Cas!"

The first few thrusts of Cas' hips were awkward and sloppy but then the angel got the hang of it and a steady rhythm was established. Dean's breaths began to escape him in gasps as Cas rocked his hips into him – not rough and fast but not agonisingly slow – but for the life of him, he couldn't see what was so great about it. Sure, it felt good to have Cas' cock sliding in and out of him and the sensation of being full was definitely one he enjoyed but there was really nothing to account for the pure pleasure that Cas always –

" _Oh, God_!" he suddenly cried hoarsely. What the _hell_ was that?

"Is this right, Dean?" Cas panted, adjusting his angle. Once again, stars exploded behind Dean's eyes and bursts of boiling heat and chilling cold raced through him, nearly making him double over.

"What the _fuck_? Is that –?"

"Yes." And with that short reply, Cas began to thrust a little faster, ensuring that he hit that spot every time. Dean almost began to cry because _how_ was it possible to feel so amazing and why the _hell_ hadn't he done this before? _How_ could he have been such a wuss?

The room was full with the sounds of panting and gasping and groaning and animalistic grunting. Freezing heat started to pool at the base of Dean's spine, deep in his belly, until he let out a long moan and clung onto Cas tighter.

"Cas – please, Cas – gonna –"

Before he could finish his sentence, his whole world seemed to implode on itself in black and white and multi-coloured stars. Raw lightning zinged through every nerve in his body and set every cell on fire and God, how the hell was he supposed to survive –

And then it was over. Dean's arms and legs numbly slipped from around Cas to sag on the bed but Cas, who still hadn't come, was still thrusting. The overstimulation was almost too much to bear but really, it would be rather inconsiderate of him not to let his angel come when he got to, so he simply lay there and let Cas continue to pound until finally, his angel seized up and released deep inside Dean. Cas collapsed on top of him, sliding out in the process, and they simply lay there, tangled in a heap of limbs.

"Fuck," was all Dean could say once he got his breath back. "Fuck, Cas, you're amazing."

The mess between them and inside Dean suddenly vanished and the bed covers were pulled over them in the blink of an eye. Thanking whoever was listening for the bonus of grace cleaning, Dean wrapped his trembling arms around Cas and pulled him close. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest, his ear pressed to Dean's heart, and he began to purr softly.

"I enjoy listening to your heartbeat," Cas murmured. "I like to lose myself in the sound of your life."

"Sometimes, you can be so cheesy," Dean grumbled but, grinning softly, he looked down at the beautiful angel he held in his arms, blue eyed half-closed, and he leaned down to kiss him on the head. "You're so freaking amazing, angel. And not just in bed. Just in everything. Fuck, I just _can't_ lose you."

Cas slid off Dean to nuzzle lazily into the crook of his neck.

"You won't lose me, Dean. I will make sure to always come back to you. I love you."

Dean closed his eyes and began to stroke his angel's back, burying his nose in Cas' damp hair.

"I need you too, man."


	36. Couldn't Think of a Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I feel like I raised the bar with last chapter but I dunno if I can write something as good as that again because that was a spur of the moment thing o_o

**36\. Draw partner a romantic stick figure picture**

The only thing worse than being stuck in a motel room on a rainy day, Dean decided, was being stuck in a motel room where the TV didn't even freaking work. Sure, daytime TV absolutely sucked but it was _something_!

"I'm bored," he complained. Cas didn't look up from the book he'd bought from the bookstore next to the last diner they'd stopped at (despite Dean ribbing him constantly for being 'another freaking Sammy').

"Good for you."

"Entertain me, Cas."

"No."

Dean slumped against the pillows and headboard with a small whine and pouted at Cas next to him.

"Wanna have sex?"

"No."

Now Dean outright groaned.

"What am I s'posed to do?"

"You could read one of my books."

"Nice try, angel. I don't read any of the crap you bought."

Cas didn't reply. Huffing, Dean turned away and his eyes fell on a few sheets of motel stationary and a pen. Fine. If Cas wanted to be that way and ignore him, he'd just have to show him.

It took ten minutes before Cas finally looked up from his book and frowned at Dean.

"Dean, what are you doing?"

"Drawing you a picture."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't entertain me, so I'm entertaining myself."

With one final pen flourish, Dean brandished his rough sketch.

"There ya go, angel. Just 'cause I like you so much."

Cas squinted at the drawing.

"Is this meant to be a love illustration?"

"Yep."

"It's rather crude." Cas didn't look impressed at all. "For one, this isn't anatomically possible. The angle at which I would have to bend for you to be able to thrust in that way is –"

"So you don't like it?" Dean said, his stomach sinking. Why'd he even draw this in the first place? Cas was iffy enough about his moods when it came to real sex and drawing something this crude, especially when Cas wasn't in the mood…well, of course he'd mess it all up and upset his angel. Why did he have to fuck everything up?

"The intention behind it is there," Cas said, his lips twitching in amusement. When Dean didn't respond, he turned to face Dean and cupped his face. "You're having self-loathing thoughts again, aren't you?"

"No," Dean said quickly. Cas narrowed his eyes and leaned in to lightly brush his lips over Dean's.

"Don't lie to me, Dean."

Dean tried to look away but Cas' hands had an iron grip on his face.

"Cas –"

"When will you see that you are not to blame for everything? When will you stop thinking so little of yourself?"

"I knew you weren't in the mood and I still drew that," Dean muttered darkly. Cas rolled his eyes to high heaven.

"Stop blaming yourself every time you feel that you've offended me, Dean. I don't find the drawing itself appealing but I see the intent behind it and I find it rather amusing as a whole."

Cas pushed Dean back on the bed and straddled the surprised man's waist.

"I thought you didn't want to –"

Cas cut him off by bending down to kiss him, clasping his hands as he did so.

"I didn't say that we would have sex, Dean. But I would not be averse to – what do you call it? Kissing you until you forget your own name."

Dean let out a growl and tugged his hands free to pull Cas down on top of him so that his angel lay chest-to-chest with him. Cas raised an eyebrow and grabbed his hands again.

"And besides, human, that book was quite boring compared to showering you with love. That's always my favourite thing to do."

"Then do it," Dean said testily. Cas tilted his head.

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet your sweet ass it is."


	37. Back and Forth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon and Shannon_Kind for your comments :)

**37\. Swing on the playground**

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. After almost an hour of searching, he'd finally found Cas sitting on the lone swing at the local park and he approached his angel, whose shoulders were slumped and head was bowed.

"I was worried about you, man," he said when he drew level with Cas. Cas didn't reply. "What's up, angel? You vanished for like two hours and then you came back and barely spoke to me before zapping out again. What the hell happened?"

Cas said nothing at first. Then he heaved a deep sigh, though he still didn't look at Dean.

"I was recalled," he said. "A rebellion had broken out between Heaven and several angels who shared Raphael's affiliations and ideas."

"And they just had to call you back? Why couldn't they handle it themselves?"

"It was a large rebellion, Dean. When I say a few angels, I mean close to a third of Heaven rebelled. Not to mention that I am the – what would you call it? Their poster boy. God has brought me back twice, so I 'must be doing something right'."

Cas snorted darkly.

"I had to kill so many of my siblings, Dean. After we banished Lucifer back to Hell and I remained with you, I vowed not to kill any of my brothers or sisters if I could help it. And – and now I was forced to kill so many angels. It was only two hours to you but in Heaven, it was so much longer."

Cas' shoulders began to shake.

"My hands are dripping in blood," he whispered. "And not just from this. The entire Apocalypse was my fault. If I hadn't let Sam out of the panic room so that he could kill Lilith…every life lost as a result of Lucifer's release is my fault. Dean, I'm covered in blood."

Dean's heart shattered at how broken Cas' voice was. He kneeled down in front of Cas and carefully lifted his angel's chin until he could see Cas' dull blue eyes.

"You listen to me, Cas," he said quietly but firmly, taking one of Cas' hands with his free one. "We forgave you for that Sam stuff ages ago. And it's _not_ just your fault, okay?"

He hated to blame Cas at all but it was the only way Cas would take him seriously. If he absolved Cas of all the blame, the angel would stop listening and he wouldn't get through to him.

"It's my fault for being weak and breaking the first seal in Hell. It's Sam's fault for trusting Ruby and killing Lilith. It's Ruby's fault for messing with Sam's head and getting him to kill Lilith. It's Lucifer's fault for coming up with the whole plan. It's Azazel's fault for infecting Sam with the demon blood. It's the angels' fault for letting that crap happen. You fucked up but so did all of us, Cas. So _stop_ blaming yourself for that!"

Cas' face remained blank.

"And you did what you had to do. Sam and I – we've killed so many people while trying to save them. I mean, I get it isn't the same thing but – y'know – you had to. Please, man, quit beating yourself up over it. They would've killed you if you hadn't killed them."

Cas still didn't look convinced. Though he hated to do so, Dean pulled out his trump card.

"What if they'd won, Cas? You know the first thing they'd do is come after me and Sam. And I dunno about you but if I was in your position, I'd rip them to pieces before they even had a chance to look at you. So if you think about it, angel, you saved me."

He nearly gagged at the typical 'damsel in distress' thing but it did the trick: a fire seemed to suddenly ignite in Cas' eyes, brightening the dull blue.

"I would utterly destroy anybody who dared to touch you, Dean. If they had come after you, I would have done far more than kill them."

"Y'see? You stopped them from wrecking the world again and from getting to me and Sam. You didn't wake up and suddenly decide to ice them all."

Raising himself on his haunches, he placed one hand on the back of Cas' neck and used the other to cup his angel's cheek and draw him in for a gentle kiss.

"You're amazing, angel," he murmured, resting his forehead against Cas'. "Seriously. You keep complaining that I can't see how awesome I am like you can but you never stop to think that maybe – just maybe – you do the exact same. And it drives me insane because dammit, Cas, you deserve so much! You deserve to have a father who gives a damn and a family that doesn't want to kill each other every other week and a boyfriend who can actually tell you that – that –"

"Stop right there, Dean," Cas said firmly. "I know that you love me. Don't ever feel ashamed that you can't say it. And I love you too. I'm sorry for causing you this distress."

"Don't apologise. Don't you dare apologise for being the best damn angel out of the lot. You think those other douchebags would grieve like this? You think they'd care about humanity and Earth if God hadn't brought you back? They're only stopping another Apocalypse because we threw Michael and Lucifer into Hell and God brought you back twice, so they think this is what He wants. There's a reason I like you and not those others, Cas. Just remember that."

Cas gave him a soft smile and leaned forward for another kiss. Dean closed his eyes and when Cas let out a small, content noise into the kiss, he shivered and resisted the urge to press closer and deepen it. Instead, he broke away and stood up.

"I know what'll cheer you up," he said to a puzzled-looking Cas. "I did this to Sam all the time as a kid when he was upset."

He positioned himself behind Cas and grabbed his angel's waist. After taking a moment to gently run his hands up and down, relishing in the feel of his lover's warm body under his fingers, he stepped back, pulling Cas and the swing with him. Then he let go.

"Dean, what is the purpose of this?" Cas said in confusion as he swung away from Dean and then back. Dean grinned and planted his hands on Cas' back to give him a stronger push.

"It's fun. Sammy used to love swinging. Apparently, it's like flying."

"It's nothing like flying." But that didn't stop a small laugh from escaping his mouth as he swung higher and Dean's grin widened. Mission accomplished.


	38. Just Some Shameless Loving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Just a short one tonight because not only have I just finished Avengers: Age of Ultron (WHYYYYYY DID THAT PERSON DIE) but I'm also giving the 30 Day OTP Challenge a go for the main characters of the novel I'm trying to write, because I've got a bit of writer's block with it and I hope it'll help.
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**38\. Kiss partner's stomach**

By the time they got back to the motel room after their afternoon at the park, Cas was almost back to normal. But Dean could tell that there was still something wrong. Not that he was surprised, really; if Cas had gotten over that angel rebellion already, he would've been very surprised and a little suspicious.

"You okay, angel?" he asked, slinging an arm around Cas' shoulders after taking his leather jacket off.

"Yes," Cas said automatically. "No. I don't know. My feelings were nowhere this complex last time I was involved in something of this sort."

The look on Cas' face was a dull punch in the gut to Dean. An idea suddenly occurred to him and he gave Cas a quick kiss on the temple before squeezing and then releasing him.

"Take off your shirts, Cas. Leave your pants on if you want."

Cas shot him a confused glance but immediately complied. The level of trust he had in Dean and the fact that such a powerful creature just obeyed him like that filled Dean with giddy warmth and he couldn't help but grin to himself like a teenage girl. Dammit, he had it bad. Sam was so going to tease him like there was no tomorrow.

"What now?" Cas said when his tie and white shirt hit the floor. Dean approached him and lifted his chin to give him a quick kiss.

"On the bed, angel. Just lie on your back."

It wasn't long before Cas was reclining back on the bed, staring at Dean in bewilderment as the man kicked off his shoes and peeled off his socks before climbing on the bed with him. The first thing he did was to carefully pull Cas' shoes and socks off and throw them off the bed, not caring where they landed. He then straddled Cas' hips.

"Just relax now," he murmured, brushing his lips against Cas'. "Gonna make you feel good, okay?"

Cas nodded, reaching up to slide his hands under Dean's shirt and up his front. Dean allowed this for a moment before gently removing Cas' hands and pinning them on either side of his head.

"Please – take them off," Cas said in a slightly breathless voice. Unable to deny his angel anything, Dean tore his plaid shirt off and his T-shirt followed, leaving him in just his jeans. Before Cas could move his hands, he bent down and gently bit on the skin just above Cas' navel, sucking to ensure that he left a bright bruise.

"You're not a bad person, Cas," he said around Cas' belly. "You're awesome and badass and caring and kind and loyal. Etcetera, etcetera."

Cas let out a soft chuckle, followed immediately by a small groan as Dean started to press kisses all over his stomach.

"We've been through this, angel. You know why I – why I need you. So I'm gonna shut up and I'm just gonna kiss you until your belly's all red and you can see how awesome you are every time you look at it."

"I – I think I would like that, human."


	39. Mine and Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I've just been haunting the 'Cuddling/Snuggling' tag lately, so…
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi for your comment :)

**39\. Hug partner from behind and kiss on the back of the neck**

"What time are we leaving?" Cas asked, carefully placing Dean's things into his duffle bag for him. Dean was touched by the gesture but when he insisted that Cas didn't have to do that, his angel just ignored him.

"It's nine now. If we leave in half an hour and grab breakfast to go, we could be outta here by quarter past ten at the latest."

"Good."

They fell silent, Cas packing the bag and Dean lacing his boots up. He finished his task before Cas and just sat there for a moment, his eyes glued to his angel's back as Cas bent further over the bag on the table to double check that everything was inside, humming a song under his breath. A sudden wave of warmth washed over Dean as he smiled fondly, followed by an urge that couldn't be ignored.

"Dean?" Cas said, stiffening in surprise when Dean wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him back against his body. Cas immediately melted into the touch. "What are you – we don't have time for sex –"

"Who said anything about that?" Dean murmured into Cas' hair, mouthing a sweet kiss against the nape of his neck. "But if you come back to bed with me, I reckon we can squeeze another half an hour into our busy schedule. C'mon, angel!"

That last part was definitely not a whine. But it did the trick; Cas sagged in his arms and allowed Dean to gently tug him back towards the bed. Dean let go of Cas just long enough to flop back on the bed before grabbing the sleeve of his trench coat and yanking him down on top of him.

"Get off me, you bastard," Dean grinned. Cas let out a laugh, ducking his head, and rolled off Dean. Dean shifted onto his side, then captured Cas around the waist and pulled him in close.

"Yes, I think we have time for this," Cas mumbled, nuzzling into Dean's collar. Dean let out an approving sound.

"Mine. You're mine," he growled softly, rolling back onto his back to free his other arm so he could lazily stroke Cas' hair. Cas purred, adjusting his position so that he was pressed into Dean's side with his head on Dean's chest, and Dean paused his playing with Cas' hair so that he could trail his hand down to Cas' face and softly caress it.

"Yes, human," Cas said quietly, draping an arm over Dean's stomach as his eyes fluttered shut. "Yours."


	40. They Never Learn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I only just realised that people were waiting an hour later for my prompts, since daylight savings ended here in Australia a few days ago, so I'm gonna move my usual update time to an hour earlier. It doesn't mean that every prompt will be out by that time, though, 'cause shit happens.
> 
> And sometimes I feel like I'm pushing the 'Dean/Cas never listen to their partner and still continue to be stubborn, self-deprecating assholes' too much and they should get over it already and then I just look at myself and how I am with my best friends. Ahahahaha, yeah right, that's not happening any time soon.
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock, Shannon_Kind and KMB for your comments :)

**40\. Give gifts**

"Okay, what did I do?" Dean said. "What the hell are you rewarding me for? You only do this when you're in the mood."

Cas simply shrugged, this action causing his feathers to drag along the bed.

"Am I not allowed to show off my plumage?" he said. "Especially on your birthday?"

Dean blinked. His birthday? When did that happen? Cas' smile fell.

"Did you forget your own birthday, Dean?"

"No!" Dean said quickly. Cas raised an eyebrow. "Maybe. So? Not like I've ever had cause to celebrate it before. I always focused on giving Sammy a birthday 'cause he deserved to at least have that"

Cas sighed before pushing Dean back onto the bed.

"It constantly infuriates me," he said as Dean let out a surprised sound and scrambled back towards the top of the bed, "how you seem to care so little about yourself and have such a low opinion of yourself."

"I – I'm gettin' better," Dean said defensively.

"Yes, you are." Cas sat down in front of him and roughly tugged him up into his arms and Dean would be lying if he said that being manhandled like this didn't set off a stirring down south. "But you still have such low self-worth. Anybody who met you would be fooled by your overconfident façade but I know you far better."

Cas leaned in, forcefully kissing Dean while snaking one hand through his hair and resting the other on the handprint on Dean's shoulder. Dean let out a muffled sound and closed his eyes, his lips tingling when Cas pulled away.

"I love you, Dean," Cas said firmly. "Everything about you. Your strengths, your weakness, your endearing traits, your shortcomings. So today is all about you."

Cas released him in favour of lying back on the bed, carefully arranging himself so that he didn't hurt his wings. Dean's mouth went dry at the sight of a shirtless, winged Cas, just lying there in front of him like some sort of god.

"I thought about your birthday gift for a long time," Cas said. "I realised that you don't want for very many material possessions. So I thought that I would give myself to you for a whole day. Anything that you wish to do to me, you can do. That's my gift to you."

Dean almost grinned, until he caught the fact that Cas had said 'to' him and not 'with' him. He also noticed that although Cas was presenting himself to him openly, his angel seemed to be subconsciously curling in on himself in such a minute way that Dean probably wouldn't have caught it if he hadn't been looking. Not to mention that he wouldn't meet Dean's eyes and there was something…odd about his voice. Maybe a tiny hint of reluctance or resignation.

Dean wanted to sigh loudly. Here his angel was, lecturing him about having more self-worth, and he was the one offering his body to Dean when he wasn't even in the damn mood?

"First off," he said, crawling forward to straddle Cas' waist, "you don't ever need to get me anything on my birthday. It's just another day."

He lifted Cas' chin, forcing his angel to meet his eyes, before leaning down to kiss him gently.

"And second, you shouldn't offer yourself up like some prize when you're not in the mood," he murmured against Cas' lips. "What'd I say about us being equal? You have your highs and that's when I get to have awesome sex with you. Then you have your lows and I gotta respect that. And I do."

The look Cas was giving him seemed to be strange mix of surprise, gratitude, love (Dean's stomach did a flip) and…reverence? Something like that?

"Oh and fun fact," Dean said, brushing dark strands out of Cas' eyes and then trailing his fingers down his angel's cheek. "I'm never gonna do anything 'to' you, so don't ever talk about yourself like you're some sorta sex toy. I never did anything 'to' anyone I slept with and if we put it that way, it was just dirty talk – like 'You can't imagine what I'm gonna do to you, hot stuff'. Not in the way you just said it. So stop insultin' me and just accept that I – that you're too important for me to just fuck around with. In every sense of the word."

Cas stared at him for a moment before grabbing Dean by the back of the neck and forcing his head down. Dean let out a small groan when their lips met and when Cas rested a hand on the small of his back to push him down even closer to the angel underneath him, he quickly planted his forearms on either side of Cas' head for leverage.

"So here's what I'm gonna do with you," Dean panted when they separated. "I'm gonna kiss you totally senseless until you get that you're my angel, not my real life sex doll like you still seem to think. Then I'm gonna groom your wings 'cause you know how much I love touching them. Then we're gonna go out and get a bite to eat and then we're gonna come back here and watch the Doctor Sexy marathon that's on later. And tonight, we're gonna have a bath together 'cause this motel actually has one. That okay with you?"

Rather than answering verbally, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and yanked him down into a tight hug, so that Dean's face was pressed into the crook of his neck.

"I love you so much, human. You don't know just how good a person you are."

Dean's cheeks heated up.

"Yeah, yeah," he said quickly, trying not to let his embarrassment show. "Can we get back to the kissing bit now?"


	41. Dean's Just a Big Softie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I've thought about starting a blog. Then I realised that my life is so incredibly mundane that I have nothing to blog about. Fun times.
> 
> Thanks to tkdgrl223, SophiaWhoLock and Shannon_Kind for your comments :)

**41\. PDA**

"Dude, check her out," Dean grinned, nodding his head subtly. Cas frowned at the woman that Dean had pointed out.

"What about her? She's not a demon or a monster. There's nothing interesting about her, except for the strangely angry glare she's giving us."

"Exactly," Dean said gleefully. "I bet you fifty bucks that she's pissed about us flaunting it in her face."

"Flaunting what?"

"Y'know – us. Together. It's not like we're tryin' to hide that we're a thing."

Cas' face cleared.

"Oh. You suspect that she is a homophobe who disapproves of our public displays of affection."

Still smirking, Dean slung an arm around Cas' shoulders and dragged his angel closer to him on the uncomfortable park bench. It might have just been his imagination but he could've sworn that he heard the woman give an audible huff.

"How 'bout we test that theory?"

It was Cas who closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Dean's and turning so that he could snuggle into Dean's side. Dean reciprocated with equal force, splaying his fingers over Cas' jaw and relishing in the prickly stubble underhand.

"You'll burn in Hell!" a voice shouted, though it sounded very far away to Dean's currently occupied senses. When they broke apart, Dean saw that the woman was gone.

"Aww, damn. She left without even tipping us. I reckon that kiss was worth at least ten bucks."

Cas rolled his eyes, though he was smiling.

"I wonder what she would say if I told her that I am an angel of the Lord and that my Father is indifferent to sexual orientation."

"She'd probably get you thrown in the nuthouse. Unless…hey, you could prove it and flash your wings! Let's go find her and give her a show!"

Cas tried to look disapproving but his twitching lips gave it away.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I ever fell in love with you, Dean. And then I remember moments like this. You make me laugh so freely and that makes me very happy because laughing is a very enjoyable sensation."

Dean, grinning so widely that his cheeks hurt, kissed Cas again, liquid fire trickling through him. This wasn't the first time he'd been in love but dammit, it hadn't ever felt this potent! He really wasn't complaining, though; he didn't know how he'd gotten so lucky as to snag this perfect angel but hey, who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth when he could be busy showing his angel how much he loved him?


	42. Cas Should Be a Poet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I'm sorry that it's short but we're having dinner with some friends tonight. And I was playing Sims 4. All. Day. It's oddly addictive. So I had to scramble to get it written before we left, otherwise you'd wait maybe three or four more hours.
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock, Umbreon, Shannon_Kind and KMB for your comments :)

* * *

**42\. Heartbeat**

When Dean woke up, the first thing he noticed was that something was tickling his nose. The source of this tickling turned out to be a messy mop of dark hair that smelled distinctly of ozone and wilderness and he couldn't help but let out a small grin because, really, there were far worse ways to wake up in the morning.

"Good morning, Dean," Cas said. "I could tell that you'd woken up from your heartbeat. I love listening to it, especially when you're sleeping and peaceful."

"Yeah, you told me." Dean planted a small kiss in Cas' hair and tightened his arms him, resulting in a beautiful, purring angel. Oh, God, he'd slipped into thinking of Cas as 'beautiful' so easily that it was scary. But it fit and filled Dean with a fuzzy warmth whenever he thought of it. Because Cas was _his_ ; Cas was _his_ beautiful angel and he'd picked him and dammit, he was probably one of the luckiest people alive just because of that."

"I'm sure that I've already told you this but I enjoy listening to your heartbeat as a reminder that you are alive and well and staying right here with me," Cas said. Dean's heart swelled.

"Dammit, Cas, quit sayin' stuff like that! You know I can't say anythin' half as good!"

Cas let out a low chuckle.

"I've already told you, Dean. You don't _need_ to say it. I already know because you show me every single day. And so long as you love me, I will never leave you. I promise."


	43. Okay, So It's Just Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> So after blowing my $200 savings on movies and books, I just finished reading one of the two books I bought: ‘Play Me Backwards’ by Adam Selzer. You HAVE to read it. It’s got Satan, it’s got a hilariously weird and endearingly awkward narrator and it’s just funny and actually sorta makes my inner old-fashioned romantic heart weep at what our generation’s like, to be honest.
> 
> On the other hand, it’s also knocked my confidence in my own writing down a bit. Compared to Leon Trotsky (er, sorry, Harris), my own protagonist seems rather flat. I dunno.
> 
> Thanks to randomskittles, SophiaWhoLock and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**43\. Brush partner’s hair out of face**

When Dean got back from his food run, he was mildly surprised to see Cas slumped on the uncomfortable queen bed, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling steadily. Cas never slept, so he couldn’t be doing that, but Dean realised after a moment that he must simply be in the trance he went into every night while waiting for Dean to wake up. He was about to wake Cas up and even had his hand poised just above his angel’s shoulder before he paused. He hadn’t seen Cas this relaxed in ages and honestly, the sort-of-sleeping angel looked downright fucking adorable like this.

 _‘Dammit!’_ Dean thought. _‘Why’s he gotta be so freaking cute? Why’d he have to make me fall in love with him?’_

Dumping the food on the nearby table – which had seen better days and was probably going to collapse in on itself any day now – Dean sank down onto the bed next to Cas and massaged his forehead with a weary sigh. His life would’ve been far simpler if he’d been able to avoid falling in love – and he was that pathetic that he still couldn’t fucking say it out loud, no matter how many times Cas reassured him that it didn’t matter. Cas was way too good for him; he put up with his broken ass, did so much for him, and he had no problem telling Dean that he loved him and didn’t even mind that Dean couldn’t say it back. What the hell had he done in a past life or something to even deserve this angel?

But then, to Dean’s utter surprise, something in his mind seemed to shift. It was tiny and barely noticeable but suddenly, for a few brief moments, Dean felt content. Not self-loathing, not numb and depressed, not overly confident…just content. Cas loved him. Angels couldn’t love, yet Cas had learned to thanks to him. And now he felt proud of this feat, rather than hating the fact that he’d corrupted Cas. Cas had _chosen_ him and if this perfect angel had given up his home and family for Dean then Dean was damn well going to try and stop hating himself every time he so much as breathed.

In that moment, Dean was certain that he’d never loved Cas more. Just the fact that his angel had somehow broken through his walls so thoroughly – in ways that Sam and John and everyone else apart from maybe his mother hadn’t – and convinced him, even briefly, that he did freaking deserve this…that made him so special in ways that Dean wasn’t even certain he could even mentally vocalise yet. Because no one had ever been able to punch through those walls, yet Cas had just waltzed right in and made himself right at home and yeah, maybe Dean really wasn’t such a shitty person if Cas believed he deserved this love. Maybe he wasn’t as broken and beaten and burned as he thought he was, because otherwise Cas would’ve just given up on him. Right? There was still hope for him, wasn’t there?

Shaking his head, Dean swiped a hand across his eyes and then grinned down at Cas, who was still in ‘angel sleep’ (as Dean called it).

“You better not fucking go anywhere, angel,” he muttered, reaching out to caress Cas’ cheek. Even in his trance, Cas still seemed to have some degree of awareness because Dean swore that he leaned into the touch. “‘Cause I dunno what I’d do if you did. I – I lo – dammit!”

Dean clenched his fists. He’d nearly said it! He’d been so close! Before his mind could start to hammer him with all the ways he was a fuck-up, something warm took his hand and a pair of soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“You’ll get there one day, Dean,” Cas said with a small smile, his blue eyes hooded with sleep (or whatever it was that angels did). “I’m proud of you for trying.”

Dean squeezed his hand and then reached out with his other hand to brush some of Cas’ dark hair out of his eyes. Cas closed his eyes again and purred softly.

“You’re awesome,” Dean said quietly, trailing his fingers over Cas’ forehead. “You do things to me, Cas.  I – you make me believe that I’m not such a fuck-up. That I’m worth something. And that terrifies me ‘cause – y’know – I haven’t felt like that since before Mom died. It’s just – I dunno – easier to keep believin’ that I’m nothing more than a fuck-up. It’s what I’ve always thought and it’s just easier to keep believing that than to freaking change my whole headspace.”

Dean didn’t know where this was all coming from, nor did he really care. What he really cared about was chasing after those fleeting feelings of self-worth, and the tender smile that Cas gave him after he’d finished rambling on.

“Come here,” Cas said, holding out his arms. Dean quickly obeyed, though he hurriedly took off his shoes before letting Cas pull him into a loose embrace, stroking his back and mouthing small kisses to his head, which rested on the angel’s chest.

“No big speech today, Cas?” Dean joked, closing his eyes. Hmm, there _was_ something to just lying there and listening to Cas’ strong, steady heartbeat. There was something oddly reassuring about hearing that proof of life pounding away inside his chest, soothing him and telling him that yes, his angel _was_ alive and he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

“Quite frankly, I’m not in the mood for a grand speech. What I really want to do is hold my human in my arms until he falls asleep, then watch over him. But it does make me extremely happy that you’re finally beginning to see just how much you’re worth, Dean. You have no idea.”

By now, Dean was more asleep than awake, so he couldn’t reply. All he could do was focus on the heart steadily beating against his ear and all it took was for Cas to start running fingers through his short, spiky hair to send Dean falling that little bit further into sleep.


	44. Not All Fun and Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I wrote a short oneshot called 'Yellow', so go check it for some extra Destiel fluffiness! I also wrote another one called 'Emperor's New Clothes', which is from Crowley's POV!
> 
> Thanks to randomskittles, Umbreon and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**44\. Never forget goodnight kiss**

"Man, I'm beat." Dean dumped his bag on the ground next to the bed, which he flopped onto face first. Cas chuckled, sitting down on the other side of the bed.

"I presume that you are going to sleep now?"

"Whaddya think?"

"Aren't you going to at least remove some layers of your clothes? You never usually sleep in anything more than one shirt and your pants."

"Can't be bothered," Dean slurred. Cas just sighed and the next minute, Dean felt lighter as the angel snapped away everything but his jeans and T-shirt. "Thanks, Cas."

"Of course."

He felt Cas slide into bed next to him but he was too far gone to even respond. When Cas slid a hand over his neck and rested it on the nape, he groaned loudly.

"Cas, 'm tryin' to sleep! Just leave me alone!"

Cas seemed to freeze for a moment before abruptly removing his hand.

"Very well, Dean," he said coolly. "Goodnight."

Dean was too tired to pay him any heed at the moment but the next day, when Cas didn't say anything more than a chilly, "Good morning, Dean," and didn't even look his way, Dean knew he'd fucked up. But how? What the hell had he done?

"Cas?" he said as they sped down the highway. "C'mon, man, talk to me. What'd I do?"

Cas dutifully ignored him. Anger bubbled in Dean's gut.

"Fine," he snapped. "If you wanna be a frigid son of a bitch, you just do that. Don't fucking talk to me."

He turned his music right up, letting 'Highway to Hell' blare through the car. Cas turned to him, a guilty look on his face, but when he opened his mouth, Dean stabbed a finger at him without even looking at him. Cas' face closed off and he looked back out the window. Dean wanted to scream at him. What right did the angel have to be pissed with him? He was the one who'd been ignoring Dean!

Their stony silence lasted until they arrived at their motel of the night. As soon as Cas shut the door behind them, Dean whirled him around before grabbing him by the lapels of his trench coat and slamming him against the door.

"What is your fucking problem?" he spat. "I've clearly done something wrong, so mind telling me what?"

Cas' eyes slid away from him. Dean could have growled.

"You were fine when we got to the motel! Then I went to bed and you turned ice cold on me! What'd I do?"

"You didn't give me a goodnight kiss!" Cas said. Dean blinked, his mouth frozen open.

"I – what? A goodnight kiss? Is that what this is all about? You could've just freaking asked!"

"You rudely told me not to," Cas muttered. "I assumed that you were mad at me for something and decided to 'give you a taste of your own medicine', as you humans say."

Dean's heart sank. How the fuck could Cas have felt like he needed to be an asshole back if Dean was being a dick? Did he really give off such a 'douchebag' vibe? Was Cas starting to lose interest in him? God, what if Cas decided that he really was a worthless sack of crap and dumped his ass like he should have in the beginning?

"I assume that that was not the case," Cas said quietly as Dean's face flickered through the emotions running rampant in him. "Oh. I've just created a big misunderstanding."

"Not your fault, man," Dean said, giving Cas a weak smile. "I did sound like an asshole last night. And I was a total dickbag to you today."

"Only because I was horrible to you instead of thinking to ask you what was wrong," Cas said firmly. "Don't think that you have to shoulder all of the blame, Dean. We're both in the wrong. We should talk to each other in the future to avoid any more misunderstandings."

Dean just shrugged and looked away. Cas took his chin gently and turned his head back so that he was pinned under the angel's gaze.

"Dean, you've made excellent progress with your self-worth," Cas murmured, his lips brushing over Dean's very lightly. "Don't let this one misunderstanding undo all of that. Please. It would break me if I learned that I had a detrimental effect on you."

Dean shuddered in Cas' grip and looked down, so that their foreheads were touching. When Cas lightly caressed his cheek, Dean let out a desperate sound, grabbed his face and crushed their lips together. The kiss was hot, rough and needy but it was perfect and Cas gave a muffled groan and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist.

"Bed," Dean gasped when they broke apart. "Now. I'll give you a super big goodnight kiss to make up for it. Unless you don't wanna?"

"I am very much in the mood, Dean," Cas growled, his pupils blown and his cheeks flushed. "I want you to give me the best goodnight kiss you've ever given me."

Dean gave a dark chuckle.

"Oh, I reckon I can do that, angel."


	45. Uh...Kissing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I don't even really have a specific timeline in mind for this fic, except that they're on a road trip. So if it suddenly jumps from winter to summer or something, just assume that they're on, like, a different trip or something.
> 
> And I didn't write smut for the last chapter because I'm in one of my 'lows' again. Sorry!
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock for your comment :)

**45\. Lightly push up partner's chin, look into their eyes, tell them they love them, kiss them lightly**

"You okay?" Dean said in a slightly breathless voice, idly stroking Cas' damp hair. Cas let out a satisfied sigh and nuzzled into the crook of Dean's neck.

"I enjoyed that very much, Dean. Thank you. That was the best goodnight kiss you've ever given me."

Dean snorted.

"So…we're cool?" he said awkwardly. "That's not gonna happen again?"

"No." Cas began to press little wet kisses to Dean's neck. "I'm sorry, Dean. If I'd just talked to you, that argument could have been prevented."

Dean opened his mouth to say something – to tell Cas that it wasn't all his fault – but Cas got in first. Shifting so that he loomed above Dean, he gently pushed the man's chin up so that Dean was forced to look him in the eye.

"Don't even think about it, Dean. I love you and I won't stand for you taking responsibility for something that was largely my fault."

When he bent down and pressed his lips to Dean's, any lingering thoughts that Dean might have had disappeared. He let out a muffled groan and heaved Cas on top of him, wanting to be as close to his angel as possible without going for round two.

"Okay, it's done and gone," he said when he pulled back for air. "Don't worry about it. Just shut up and kiss me again."

Cas chuckled and proceeded to do just that.


	46. Just Some Morning Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I just watched 11x18 and…I cried. Plain and simple. The Destiel subtext and Cas baby and I just can't *flings self off cliff* Although now I'm confused about Michael and Lucifer and their standing because that is probably one of the biggest retcons I've seen…
> 
> Also, short one 'cause my head is pounding. BUT I WANNA WRITE LOTSA CAS FLUFF AFTER THAT EPISODE SO ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME.
> 
> Thanks to KMB and AmeliaG for your comments :)

**46\. Kiss partner on forehead**

"Mornin', Cas," Dean yawned when he was greeted with a pair of bright blue eyes above him upon waking up. Cas smiled down at him before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Good morning, Dean. I never tire of spending the night holding you and getting to see you wake up."

Dean couldn't help but grin sleepily.

"C'mere." He wrapped his arms around Cas' waist and tugged his angel down on top of him. "Quit bein' such a sap. You know I can't keep up."

Cas smoothed back the hair from Dean's forehead and then planted a soft kiss on it.

"You know I don't care about that, Dean. You show me through your actions. If you like, you can show me right now."

Dean's grin widened as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of Cas' slacks.

"Hell yeah!"


	47. Sly Little Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I thought y'all deserved a bit of smut, so it'll be in tomorrow's chapter! Sorry about leaving you hanging!
> 
> Thanks to Severenerdery is too lazy to log in, Jo_Winchester, Shannon_Kind, SophiaWhoLock and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**47\. Turn the lights down during dinner**

When Dean got back from picking up dinner from the closest local diner, the first thing he noticed was that the lightbulb was nearly kaput, bathing the room in dim light.

"Uh, Cas? The light's busted!" Dean said. Cas just looked over his shoulder from where he was reading on the bed on his stomach, clad in only his slacks, and smiled.

"I intentionally dimmed it, Dean. I researched several ways of 'creating a romantic mood' so that I could better understand human customs and one tip was to turn the lights down for dinner to 'create that certain atmosphere and hint to him about what you've got in mind for that evening'."

His mouth dry, Dean crossed over to the bed and sat down next to Cas, his eyes glued on the tanned planes of his angel's back.

"And, uh – just what've you got in mind?" he forced out, trying to will all of the blood currently surging south to flow back up. Cas sat up and turned so that he was kneeling in front of Dean.

"Well," he began. "First, we're going to have dinner. Then we can do whatever you want."

Dean shifted to try and discourage the boner that was forming.

"And, uh – you're up for anything?" he croaked. Still smiling, Cas shifted closer and leaned right in.

"Anything within reason," he purred softly, trailing a hand down Dean's chest. Dean gulped as his angel's hand drifted lower and he let out a surprised gasp when Cas quickly palmed the bulge in his jeans and then let go.

"Fuck!" he said in a high voice. "When'd you become so – so – like this?"

Cas' demeanour suddenly switched to shy as he looked down sheepishly.

"It was part of my research," he admitted. "I've found that I enjoy it when you seduce me in this manner and several websites recommended the 'sultry' approach. I thought you might appreciate it."

Dean snorted.

"Believe me, it's much appreciated," he said. "I dunno how I'm gonna make it through dinner with you turning me on like this."

Cas smiled proudly.

"Eat your dinner, Dean. The quicker you finish, the quicker we can move on to…other activities."

Dean scrambled to unpack the food and took such a large bite of his burger that he nearly choked. Cas snickered around his mouthful of beef and cheese.

"Not used to you bein' like this, man," Dean forced out when he swallowed his food. Cas shrugged.

"I've found myself very aroused all day and I don't know why. But I thought I might try and treat you while it lasts."

It seemed like forever before Dean finished his burger and fries, even though he was sure he'd never eaten faster in his life. He then had to wait in agony for Cas, who was delicately eating his burger as though he hadn't just promised that Dean could do anything from jerking him off to fucking him.

"You're doing it on purpose!" Dean blurted out. Cas gave him a serene smile.

"Of course I'm doing it on purpose, Dean. I wouldn't want to accidentally eat my food."

"Don't even need to eat," Dean muttered. But finally, Cas had finished his food and poofed the rubbish away with a wave of his hand.

"What would you like to do, Dean?" he said. "Whatever you'd like, I'm willing to do."

Dean grimaced to himself when Little Dean perked right back up with a vengeance. Dammit, Cas sitting there with an adorably innocent look on his face _wasn't_ helping! Suddenly, an idea occurred to him.


	48. Dean Has an Identity Crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Here's the smut! And I'm kinda nervous about the direction Dean and Cas have been taking themselves. I never actually intended for Cas to be asexual in the first place and now he and Dean have gone off and done this and…I'm kinda scared myself o_o
> 
> NSFW for obvious reasons.
> 
> Thanks to Lorena_Shepard, Umbreon, KMB and Destiel_whore for your reviews :)

**48\. Tell partner 'I'm glad I'm with you.'**

"Well." Dean lifted Cas' chin and gave him a quick kiss. "You said you get off on makin' me feel good. So I thought I'd return the favour while you're in the mood."

"But – tonight is my gift to you –"

Dean silenced Cas' protests in a thoroughly nonverbal manner.

"And I've been taught that it's polite to share. Besides, I love making you feel good, angel. After all the crap you've been through –"

"You've also been through much, Dean –"

Dean pressed his lips to Cas', cupping a cheek and stroking his thumb over the smooth flesh under his hand. Cas' eyes fluttered shut and he gripped the hair at back of Dean's head tightly, letting out a small gasp that was muffled by the kiss. Dean carefully avoided shoving his tongue into Cas' mouth, instead focusing on pouring every feeling swirling in his stomach into the kiss and hoping that Cas could feel even a fraction of it.

"Just shuddup and let me spoil you," Dean murmured when he broke away. His eyes still closed, all Cas could do was pant.

"Okay," he finally said. Grinning, Dean hooked an arm under Cas' knees and, supporting Cas with his other arm, lifted the surprised angel for just long enough to gently deposit him near the head of the bed. He then made short work of his shirts, dumping them on the floor before crawling on top of Cas and straddling his hips.

"You always get to do this lovey-dovey chick flick crap to me," he said, running his hands down Cas' front. Cas shuddered violently and arched into the touch. "So I'm gonna do it to you. Give you a taste of your own medicine."

Cas glowered at him.

"You're teasing me," he said sulkily. Dean snickered and bent down to kiss him.

"Of course I am."

By the time he had finished kissing Cas, his angel's lips were swollen and red, his sweaty skin was flushed and his eyes were wide and blown, the blue only a thin ring around his huge pupils. Dean grinned and ran a hand through Cas' dark, messy hair.

"You're freaking gorgeous, man," he said. "God, I dunno how I ever could've not liked you."

"To be fair, I was quite a 'douchebag' when we first met," Cas said, breathing heavily. "I don't think that I made the best first impression."

Dean just shook his head and brushed Cas' slightly damp hair out of his eyes before trailing his fingers around Cas' face to caress his cheeks. He suddenly felt an almost uncontrollable urge to just wrap his arms around Cas and squeeze tightly and never let him go as he told this perfect angel every single reason he loved him but that wasn't his style. Dean Winchester did _not_ cuddle people and sob about how much he loved them!

So instead, he began to kiss Cas again, wriggling around so that he could flatten himself against Cas' body and be as close as possible without being inside him. Cas gripped his biceps tightly, until Dean finally moved away from his lips and began to plant a trail of kisses down his throat.

"Dean," Cas sighed contentedly. Dean grinned and bit gently, then soothing the skin with his tongue and ensuring that a big bruise would be left behind.

"What d'you want me to do, Cas?" he said between kisses on Cas' chest. Cas sucked in a sharp breath when Dean's teeth grazed over a nipple, which he then took into his mouth.

"What – whatever you want," he rasped, bucking his hips when Dean lightly bit his nipple. Stars exploded behind Dean's eyes at the sensations that sparked when Cas' crotch thrust into his and he quickly latched onto his angel's other nipple, not wanting to show favouritism to one. Both of them were perfect and it felt like a sin not to shower any part of Cas' body with attention!

When he got to the waistband of Cas' slacks, he paused to gather his thoughts. What was he going to do to his angel? Suck him off? Fuck him? Ride him? The possibilities were endless! But then another wave of the urge to just hold him close and love him without sticking his dick inside the guy swept over him and Dean frowned in confusion. What the hell? Since when had he wanted to hold his partner rather than actually have sex with them?

"Dean?" Cas said. "Are you okay?"

Dean shook his head to clear his thoughts and then quickly popped the button of Cas' slacks, unzipped them and pulled them down, licking his lips at the sight of the tented boxers before him.

"It's kinda hilarious," he said, running his fingers over Cas' boxers. Cas made a small mewling noise. "One of the few times you want me to fuck you…and I don't even wanna."

Cas frowned.

"Dean?" he said as Dean tugged his boxers down. "Dean, you –"

He broke off with a strangled gasp when Dean gave his dick a quick pump. Smirking, Dean struck up a rhythm that was fast enough to give Cas relief but slow enough that he wouldn't come too soon.

"See, here's the thing," he said conversationally as he jerked Cas off. "You know me. Usually, I'd jump at the chance to be able to have sex with you. 'Cause you're hot and awesome and you know that I best express myself when I'm fucking you."

Cas bit his lip to hold back a moan when Dean increased the speed.

"But right now? I don't even feel like it. All I want is to just lie in bed and hold you. That's it. And that kinda scares me, angel. It scares me 'cause I've never felt that with anyone before. Sure, I'd hug them in bed but if they ever offered me sex? I'd never say no."

"Dean –!" Cas began to thrust up into Dean's hand. Dean could tell that he was starting to get close and he shifted, trying to find a position where his jeans weren't trying to strangle his own dick.

"You've got some sorta power over me, Cas. I dunno what it is but you do. And truthfully? I'm actually kinda terrified of it. I mean, everyone knows that sex is my thing – that it's how I show my feelings, 'cause I'm not good with words. But then you come along and you make me wanna lie with you and hug you rather than fuck you and – I dunno – I'm kinda scared that I'm changing."

"Dean – stop!"

Dean immediately let go of Cas' dick and moved back, his heart pounding. Did he hurt Cas? What the hell had he done? The next minute, he found his lap full of angel with shining eyes and a leaking dick.

"Fuck, did I do something wrong?" Dean said. "I –"

"You did nothing wrong, Dean," Cas said firmly, pushing Dean's chin up so that he had to meet those blue eyes. "If anything, I've apparently done something wrong. I never wanted to _change_ you –"

"Don't blame yourself!" Dean interrupted. "I mean, it's kinda scary but I don't hate it!"

Cas gave him a sceptical look.

"Yet it's enough for you to begin questioning your identity. Dean, I never expected you to ever change for me or compromise your desires for me. The fact that you're willing to forgo sex when I don't want it is amazing enough. I know how much of a sexual creature you are."

Cas leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and sweet and sensual and Dean kissed back, wanting more. He wanted every little bit of Cas – he wanted to breathe him in and never let him go because Cas was a drug and he was addicted so badly and he knew that the withdrawal would be horrific.

"Not amazing," he said hoarsely when he pulled back for air. "Just bein' a decent person. Don't wanna fuck this up. Don't wanna lose you, Cas."

"You won't. But I can't be responsible for changing something so fundamentally part of you, Dean! When did you start feeling like this?"

"Just now, actually. And isn't change good? Like, isn't your partner meant to change you?"

"Not like this, Dean! I don't want to take away something that is so integral to your personality! This is how you express your feelings!"

Dean sighed and looked away.

"'M sorry," he mumbled, cool numbness beginning to coat his insides. "Should've kept my mouth shut. Now I've fucked everything up and the mood's gone and you're feeling guilty –"

"Never apologise for confiding in me," Cas said firmly, gripping Dean's chin and turning his head back around. "I'm glad that you told me this, Dean. It means that you trust me."

Dean gave him a wan little smile.

"'M glad I'm with you, Cas," he said. "You're doin' things to me and it's kinda freaking me out but…I dunno, maybe this is a good kinda change. Maybe it means I'm gettin' better with words. Maybe I'll even be able to say _that_ word soon."

Cas smiled and kissed him again. In the silence that followed, Dean looked down at Cas' swollen dick.

"Want me to take care of that?" he said. Cas shrugged.

"Only if you want to. I can block the discomfort if I try by distancing myself from my vessel's sensations."

Dean rolled his eyes and wrapped his fingers around Cas' dick again.

"Yeah, no," he said as Cas inhaled sharply. "See, there's one thing you never do to a man and that's leave him with blue balls. That's just the worst kinda torture there is."

Cas buried his face in Dean's shoulder and bit lightly while whimpering, gripping his upper arms in a death grip.

"Just hold on, angel. I gotcha."

Once Cas had come, his shouts muffled by Dean's shoulder, Dean caught him before he could slump in a heap and gently laid him back on the bed. He fumbled around on the ground for one of his shirts to wipe the mess off their chests and then slipped under the covers with Cas after discarding the soiled garment.

"C'mere," he said, holding out his arm. Cas immediately wriggled over and, after a little manoeuvring, Dean settled on his side and held Cas close, his angel purring softly in his embrace. Grinning at the sound, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to start drifting off into sleep.


	49. Yeah, It's Just Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> …Yeeeeaaaahhhhhh. NSFW.
> 
> (I also fucked around with like three different sites for the Enochian which totally contradict each other for an hour and it’s probably incorrect but I don’t even care and I feel like such a fucking sap)
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester for your comment :)

**49\. Sleep naked together**

Dean hadn’t felt that same urge to cuddle with Cas like some sort of sappy chick since that night, which filled him with relief. It wasn’t a _bad_ change – it wasn’t as though he’d developed the desire to go out and murder people or become a spandex stripper or something completely uncharacteristic – but for someone who’d always relied on sex to express what he felt for someone, just lying there and cuddling them was way out of his depth.

But something had definitely changed between them. Cas seemed to touch him more than usual and it took longer to get out of bed in the morning because neither of them were willing to let each other go until they had to. Dean wasn’t sure why the two of them had become so clingy but maybe it had something to do with the fact that they hadn’t had sex since that night.

All of that changed tonight.

“Dean.”

The tone of Cas’ voice immediately caught Dean’s attention.

“Yeah?” he said, turning onto his side to face Cas.

“Why haven’t we slept together? Have I done something wrong?”

Dean blinked.

“What – no! What brought that on?”

Cas shrugged uncomfortably.

“You always make at least five sexual references a day, even if I’m not in the ‘mood’ for the act itself. But you’ve hardly made any references since the orgasm you gave me and I’m worried that I’ve done something wrong.”

Dean quickly shook his head and reached out to run his fingers through Cas’ hair. Cas closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, purring.

“No way, Cas. You haven’t done _anything_ wrong. I’m just – I was waiting for you to say somethin’. I mean – something’s changed, right? I dunno what but something has and I thought that –”

“That I would bring it up when I felt like it,” Cas finished, his eyes still closed. After a moment of silence, Dean shifted closer to him.

“Man, we gotta work on our talking,” he murmured, softly kissing his angel. “We can’t freaking get it right, can we?”

“One day,” Cas said in an equally quiet voice. “One day, we’ll get there.”

Dean slung a leg over Cas and hoisted himself up to straddle his angel, whose eyes flew open in surprise. He leaned down to press his lips to Cas’, still stroking his dark hair, and Cas moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.

“But for now, I kinda wanna fuck you,” Dean smirked. “I mean, if that’s okay with you –”

Cas pulled his head down and crushed their lips together.

“I’d prefer you made love to me rather than fuck me,” he said when they separated. “But the sentiment is still there.”

Dean wanted to roll his eyes. If Cas wanted it slow and sweet, he could’ve just said so instead of speaking like a cheesy sap! Who even called it ‘making love’ these days?

“Just grab the lube and stop being a freaking poet,” he said, sliding off Cas. Cas chuckled and while he went to fetch the lube from the bag, Dean made quick work of his sweatpants and boxers. Cas raised an eyebrow and stripped out of his slacks and his own boxers before settling back onto the bed, smiling up at Dean. Dean’s stomach jolted because damn, the hottest Cas was one who gave him that soft smile with a hint of teeth and crinkles around his eyes!

“Dean?” Cas said. Dean shook his head, opening the bottle of lube on autopilot.

“I know I keep saying this but you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said. “You got no idea how lucky I am that you want me over all the other people who don’t have a tonne of issues.”

Cas rolled his eyes to high heaven.

“Do I need to give you another lecture?” he said. Dean snorted, lubing his fingers up.

“Not unless it involves kissing.” He pouted at Cas, who rolled his eyes again.

“Just hurry up, Dean.”

When Dean slid a finger inside Cas, the angel exhaled sharply and tugged Dean’s head down for another kiss. Dean continued to open Cas up as he licked into the angel’s mouth and nipped his plump lips, soothing them with his tongue the next minute.

“I’m ready, Dean,” Cas panted when Dean pulled back for air moments after inserting a third finger. Dean wriggled out of Cas’ arms long enough to coat his dick in lube and as soon as he had slid inside Cas and slowly bottomed out, his angel was pulling him back down and attacking him with wet, open-mouthed kisses.

“So good, Cas,” Dean groaned. “So tight…”

It took a minute to establish a rhythm but once he had it right, Dean rocked his hips into Cas in slow, deep thrusts. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, grabbed his face and kept giving him quick kisses, gasping in between.

“Dean…” he choked. “Please – keep going, Dean – I – I love you –”

Dean groaned loudly and buried his face in Cas’ shoulder as he continued to thrust, heat starting to pool in his belly and spark through his body like lightning.

“Not gonna last if – if you say crap like that,” he mumbled. Cas’ response was to grab his hands, clasping their fingers, and squeeze tightly.

It was slow and sensual and totally unlike the rough, passionate fucking that they usually did when sleeping together but Dean loved it just as much, even if he felt raw and exposed. It was as though his entire soul was bared, on display for Cas to see, and yet Cas always knew just how to treat him and God, he loved his beautiful angel so fucking much and if only he could fucking say it!

“You – you close?” Dean forced out when Cas began to pant and moan loudly and buck his hips up into Dean’s, seeking more friction. Cas nodded shakily, so Dean moved his face from Cas’ shoulder to his head and kissed him sloppily.

“I – Dean – right there – please – don’t stop – so close,” Cas begged, trembling. Dean’s muscles also shook, as though he was in contact with a live wire. “Dean – ol hoath – ol cordziz – zir amiran – nonci chia in – ol vvrbs Dean –”

Cas was losing control so much that he’d forgotten how to speak English? Oh, that was so fucking _hot_. Dean had no clue what Cas was saying but the Enochian was a major turn on and, with a loud shout, he tipped his head back and came deep inside Cas, biting his lip so hard that he tasted iron.

“Holy fuck, Cas,” he panted, slumping on top of Cas. But he only took a moment to compose himself before reaching down and gripping Cas’ cock tightly, intent on finishing his angel off. Cas let out a strangled moan when Dean started to pump him. “You – you gotta talk Enochian more, angel. That’s so fucking hot.”

“I – I simply forgot how to – how to speak English temporarily. I reverted – back to my – my basic instincts,” Cas said with difficulty. A long, whining moan escaped his lips, which Dean quickly covered with his own mouth, and it wasn’t long before Cas arched his back, practically sobbing into the kiss when he spurted hot fluid between them.

“Easy there, tiger,” Dean grinned as Cas sagged back on the bed, his eyes fluttering shut as he gulped in air and tried to compose himself. “You gotta forget how to speak English way more. D’you know how hot it is that I made you forget how to speak it and you had to talk your own language?”

“I’ll endeavour to lose control of myself more often, then,” Cas muttered but there was no heat in his words. Dean slid out of bed only for as long as it took to grab a dirty shirt and clean up the mess between them, but that was apparently still too long for Cas because the angel whined until Dean finally paid attention to him again.

“You clingy little angel,” Dean grinned, settling under the covers with him. He was immediately enveloped by Cas’ arms and tucked to his side while his angel peppered his head with kisses.

“I’m deeply in love with you, Dean. Forgive me if I’m ‘clingy’.”

Something hot shot through Dean, as though he’d had a hot drink or was sitting close to a fire, and he grinned sleepily and moved around until his ear was pressed to Cas’ chest and the strong heartbeat resonated through his head. He smiled contentedly and let his eyes slide closed and when he woke up the next morning and spent most of the day just in bed with Cas, he didn’t feel weird like previously. Now, for some reason, it felt natural.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RARE ENDNOTE
> 
> Translations that are probably totally wrong because that’s what you get when you use online translators! :D
> 
> Ol hoath: My love  
> Ol cordziz: My human  
> Zir amiran: I am yours  
> Nonci chia in: You are mine  
> Ol vvrbs Dean: My beautiful Dean


	50. Tastes Like Beer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Pretty much halfway through! Y'all are amazing for sticking with me through this! :) And a short one because I'm working on my gift for Misha for when I meet him in June! :D :D :D For more info, see the pinned post on the page I admin on Facebook! (www.facebook.com/Destiel-542085329250320/) but basically, I'm making him a book of messages from all of us and if you want me to add your message, you can email it to me!
> 
> Thanks to KMB and SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**50\. Surprise partner with ice cold drink when they work on a hot day**

Normally, Dean loved working on the Impala. Baby often needed a little attention here or there, or a touch-up every so often to keep her as the best damn car out there. But on a hot day, in a town in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere? Well, Dean could think of a lot more things he'd rather do.

"Dean?"

Groaning, Dean pulled back from inside Baby's hood and stretched, his spine cracking as he straightened his back. Cas stood next to him, a small smile on his face and an ice cold beer in his hand.

"I thought you might appreciate a cold drink," he said, holding it out to Dean. "You have been working on the Impala all morning. I thought you could use a break."

Dean grinned widely and swiped the beer.

"Dude, you're _awesome_." He took a swig and then leaned in and kissed Cas straight on the lips. "Usually, I love workin' on Baby. I just think today's one of those days."

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and pulled him close so that he could press his lips to Dean's. Dean laughed appreciatively into the kiss.

"You mind distracting me for twenty minutes?" he smirked when he pulled away. Cas took a moment to nod. "I could do with a good make-out session with my angel."

"You don't want anything more?"

"Nah. I'll never get back to Baby otherwise."

Cas shot him a suspicious look but didn't complain when Dean took another sip of beer, then leaned in and began to kiss him again.


	51. Cas Has a Naughty Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> I posted a oneshot today called ‘Devil Be Gone’, so go check it out if you want!
> 
> Also, NSFW.
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock, KMB and Jo_Winchester for your comments :)

**51\. Don’t wear underwear and let them find out**

“This can’t be too long,” Dean said, eagerly wrenching open the back door of Baby. “I still got work to do, remember?”

Cas smiled knowingly as he climbed into the car.

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes while crawling on top of Cas.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, angel.”

“Dean, I can sense your hormone levels and hear your heartbeat. You’re aroused and neither of us will be leaving without orgasming. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to distracting you.”

Dean eyed up Cas.

“How into this are you?”

“Enough. Now, hurry up and jerk me off.”

Dean descended into a coughing fit, Cas watching with a smug smile on his face. Dean squinted at Cas with watering eyes.

“What – Cas –”

“I’ve noticed that ‘dirty talk’ seems to arouse you very much. And I’ve picked up enough colloquial terms to be able to communicate what I want to you.”

Dean groaned and smashed his lips to Cas’, fumbling to open his angel’s slacks. Cas raised his hips enough for Dean to pull his slacks down to his knees and Dean’s stomach jolted when he found that Cas wasn’t wearing any boxers!

“Dude – what?”

“I suspected that you would seduce me sooner or later,” Cas said with a smile. “I also suspected that wearing no underwear would ‘turn you on’.”

Letting out a strangled sound, Dean struggled to tear his jeans and boxers down, an amused Cas helping him out. Both of them were hard and Cas waited until Dean had licked his palm to slicken it before grabbing his face and pulling him in for a rough kiss. Dean ground his hips down, his cock brushing against Cas’, and he gasped and buried his face in Cas’ shoulder.

“Don’t hide your face,” Cas growled. “Kiss me while you bring me to orgasm, Dean.”

Dean practically whimpered as he hastened to obey. He wrapped a hand around both of them and began to pump, crushing his lips to Cas’ so that he could hide his moans and whines in a messy, open-mouthed kiss with clashing teeth and battling tongues.

“Cas – fuck, Cas!” he bit out, thrusting into his hand and shuddering at the sensations that surged through him from rubbing against Cas’ dick. He was so close – so damn close – just a little more –

“Dean!” Cas choked. He bucked up and that was the little bit extra that Dean needed to come all over his angel, spots blinking in his vision, and it was only a moment later that Cas climaxed and spurted all over his shirt, adding to the sticky mess between them. His limbs suddenly jelly-like, Dean collapsed onto Cas, not caring about the white fluid that he was getting all over his clothes.

“Damn, angel,” he panted, mouthing wet kisses to Cas’ jaw and neck. “Gonna lie here for longer than twenty minutes…”

Cas absently stroked Dean’s hair with one hand and ran his other hand down Dean’s clothed back.

“I have no complaints whatsoever, human.”


	52. I Want Cas As MY Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> You know that searing feeling when you burn your tongue? Don't ever do it to your throat. IT FUCKING HURTS.
> 
> Thanks to CassidyForgot, SophiaWhoLock, Umbreon, J and Lucifers_OTP_destiel_666 for your comments :)

**52\. Blindfold partner, take them to special place**

"C'mon, Cas!" Dean wheedled, picking at the strip of cloth over his eyes. His hands were promptly slapped away. "Where're you takin' me?"

"It's a surprise," Cas said mysteriously. Dean scowled, wishing he'd never taught his angel how to drive. "We're nearly there, Dean."

Finally, the car stopped and Dean tried to lift his blindfold again but was reprimanded once again.

"Caaaaaasssss!" he whined. Cas chuckled from next to him.

"Come on, Dean. We're here."

Dean waited for Cas to open his door and help him out of the car to guide him to wherever the hell his angel was taking him. When Cas suddenly stopped, Dean had to quickly pause as well and would have fallen over if not for Cas' hand on his arm.

"Okay, Dean," he said. When Dean took off the blindfold and caught sight of what lay before him, his mouth dropped. They were in a small field off the road leading out of Milwaukee, where they were staying for the day, and in front of them was a blanket laid out with a variety of foods that Dean loved, like burgers and beers. But what caught his attention was the pie!

"You made us a romantic picnic?" he said incredulously, approaching the spread. Cas hung back and when Dean turned, he saw that Cas was fidgeting nervously.

"I apologise if this is too 'sappy' or 'cheesy'," he said. "But I thought that you might appreciate having lunch someplace other than a diner and I've heard that picnics can be romantic –"

He was cut off when Dean stalked over to him, grabbed his face and crushed their lips together in a deep kiss. Cas made a surprised sound, his arms flailing for a moment, and Dean pulled back with a wide grin.

"It's only cheesy if you call it a romantic picnic," he said. "But if it was, say, eating outdoors…"

Cas rolled his eyes, his lips twitching.

"Very well, Dean. We are eating outdoors today."


	53. Surely to the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, KMB and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**53\. Walk on the beach**

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Dean grumbled, shoving his socks into his boots. Cas just smiled as he picked up his black dress shoes.

"Because you haven't been to a beach in years and I have never experienced the ocean with a physical body?" he said. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. C'mon, angel."

He took Cas' hand, clasping their fingers, and tugged him down towards the ocean. He jumped when the icy water swept over his feet but Cas let out a startled laugh and tipped his head back, his eyes fluttering shut. Dean couldn't look away from the large grin on his face or the crinkles around his eyes or the bare, pale throat on display to him.

On impulse, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cas' throat. Cas stiffened but didn't pull away, so Dean shifted his angle and began to trail kisses down his angel's neck, revelling in the vibrations under his lips when Cas purred contentedly.

"Dean…" he sighed. Dean grinned and bit softly, soothing the skin with his tongue, and then he moved south and nosed at the top button of Cas' shirt –

And then a larger wave than usual came crashing around them. His eyes wide, Dean grabbed onto Cas' arms to try and keep his balance but he was already falling and all he did was drag Cas down with him. He toppled down on top of Cas with an, "Oof!"

"Crap! Cas –"

He blinked when Cas began to laugh long and loudly, not even caring when another wave surged around them and salt water filled his mouth – he simply spat the water out and continued to laugh.

"Cas…"

Who knew that his angel had this sort of laugh in him? Cas had never been this – this exhilarated before! His laughter was infectious and soon, Dean was chuckling right along with him, ignoring the disgusting, salty taste in his mouth.

"Dean!"

Cas rolled them over and, still laughing, began to pepper Dean's face with quick kisses, his fingers splayed over Dean's cheeks.

"I love you, Dean!" he exclaimed. "I'm so happy and I don't know why the ocean is doing this to me but I feel so warm and tingly and I love you so much!"

Something hot zinged through Dean and he wrapped his arms around Cas' waist and pulled him in as close as possible, grinning stupidly and coughing when water splashed over his face. He tried to say something but his throat burned from the seawater, so he settled for leaning up and capturing Cas' mouth with his own, not even caring that they'd be freezing when they finally got out of the water.


	54. Emotions Suck Sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I'm hormonal and my mood's all over the fucking place and I just want a fucking hug and Cas is me today and it fucking sucks being single when you want someone to hug you but you don't want to creep your family out by becoming an octopus for an hour and get called clingy like in the past so yeah.
> 
> Thanks to the_local_sociopath and Jo_Winchester for your comments :)

**54\. Hugs**

"What's up, Cas?" Dean said. Cas, whose mouth was downturned and whose shoulders were slumped, just shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Cas –"

"I'm telling the truth, Dean. I feel sad and numb I don't know why. Is this normal to humans?"

Dean sighed.

"One of those days? Yeah, I know what you're on about."

He shifted closer to Cas and slung an arm around him, pulling him into a loose embrace. In response, Cas sidled closer and wrapped his arms around Dean. Dean sighed again.

"Oh, what the hell. May as well go full-on chick."

Before Cas could ask what he meant, he lifted the startled angel into his lap and held him close, nuzzling into his dark hair.

"This okay, angel?" he said, smoothing back Cas' hair and pressing kisses to his angel's head while internally weeping at this blow to his masculinity. Cas nodded and rested his head against Dean's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Yes," he murmured. "You holding me is all I desire, Dean. It's very comforting and I love you very much."

Dean grinned shakily into Cas' hair. Those words allowed him to grab hold of the voice in his head that was taunting him about being a sappy chick and give it the boot. His angel needed him, so his issues could just take a fucking hike off a cliff because Cas was _way_ more important than any loss of manliness!


	55. Panda is Still Hormonal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So Misha announced on Facebook that GISHWHES is coming soon and I've decided that I'm gonna do it for the first time! Anyone else gonna do GISHWHES this year?
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Shannon_Kind and KickAssCas for your comments :)

**55\. Bring late-night snack and drink to bed**

It was a while before Cas slipped into his meditative angel equivalent to sleep and once Dean could hear slow, deep breathing, he carefully turned in his angel's arms and laid him back on the bed. As he stared at Cas' peaceful face, something jolted violently in his stomach and, before he knew what he was doing, he reached out and gently caressed Cas' cheek.

God, he was so fucked. But oh, it felt so good!

Before long, Cas started to stir and then bright blue eyes blinked sleepily up at Dean.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he said thickly.

"Technically, you weren't sleeping," Dean pointed out. Cas rolled his eyes.

"And you accuse me of being creepy."

Dean snorted and sidled closer, still stroking Cas' cheek. Cas closed his eyes again and started to purr.

"You want anything, angel?" Dean said. "Food? Drink? More blankets? Something to sleep in?"

Still purring, Cas didn't say anything for a moment.

"A drink of water would be nice," he finally said. Immediately, Dean jumped up and crossed over to the sink to grab a glass and fill it with water. On the way past, he opened the mini fridge and extracted the slice of pie he'd been saving and once he was back by Cas' side, he placed the food and drink on the bedside table and sat down next to Cas.

"Here, lemme help." He pulled Cas into a sitting position so that he could strip his angel of his trench coat, suit jacket, tie and white shirt and then handed Cas the glass of water.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas said after he had rested against the headboard of the bed and taken a sip. He reached out and took Dean's hand. "I love you so much."

"Yeah – me too," Dean said awkwardly, taking a quick bite of pie. Cas smiled.

"Hurry up and eat, Dean, so that you can come to bed and I can hold you close. And thank you for comforting me earlier."

Dean ran his fingers through Cas' dark hair.

"Hey, you'd do the same for me."

Cas reached up to rest a hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulled him in for a quick but deep kiss.

"Of course I would."


	56. What a Way to Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Just a short and probably crappy one because I'm tired and I've been that dead inside today that even my mum noticed, so it's a chore just getting this out. I was tempted to say 'fuck it' and leave it till tomorrow morning but the only time that'll ever happen is when the site plays up.

**56\. Place hand on partner's leg when riding in the car**

It was just a typical car trip as they sped out of Rochester: rock music blaring out of the speakers, Dean tapping on the wheel in time to the music and Cas staring out the window at the blurred countryside with a soft smile crossing his lips. So when Cas broke this peaceful routine and rested a hand on Dean's thigh, it was understandable that the man jumped in surprise.

"You don't mind, do you?" Cas said, still smiling. "I wished to touch you but I didn't want to take your hand or do anything to impair your driving."

Dean swallowed. Cas' hand was _really_ close to his crotch and Little Dean was starting to wake up…

"That's what you're gonna do if you don't move that hand a bit away," he squeaked. Cas frowned for a moment before his clouded features cleared and he slid his hand down to Dean's knee. Dean sighed in relief.

"My apologies."

"Don't apologise, angel. Just…I've never had road sex and I don't intend to start. Although road head _would_ be a way to go…"

He grinned dreamily. Cas just rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to perform oral sex on you while you drive, Dean. If I'm going to resurrect you then it won't be for such a silly death."

Dean smirked at him.

"I was just kidding."

"Of course you were, human."


	57. A Man with Kinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So…I may have gotten myself hooked on a French show called 'Miraculous Ladybug' and I may or may not have another OTP (which is technically two people but is actually a messed up love square because they like each other but in different forms and neither of them knows and they KISSED but it was to break a spell and one of them doesn't remember and if they'd JUST FREAKING TELL EACH OTHER WHO THEY ARE) and I may or may not be in the 'looking up fan art' stage.
> 
> *sigh* This is the last thing I need…
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, SophiaWhoLock and KMB for your comments :)

**57\. Flirt in public**

"Dean!" Cas complained. Dean just shot him a devilish grin.

"How can I help myself?" he said. "You're the one who's driving me nuts by being all cute and getting ice cream on your face."

Cas scowled and looked away, though his shoulders weren't held high and his back wasn't stiff as it would've been if he was angry. Still smirking, Dean slid closer.

"Don't be like that," he murmured, leaning in to lick at the ice cream around Cas' lips. Cas shuddered but refused to look at him. "You're gorgeous, Cas."

"Dean, we're in public," Cas protested as Dean tugged Cas into his lap and continued to suck tiny kisses around the angel's mouth.

"So? All the kids are on the other side of the park. And if anyone has a problem, they can suck it."

He shot a charming smile at a man who was giving them the stink eye. The man huffed and stormed off.

"So, can I ravish my beautiful angel now?"

"Only – Dean, stop that – only if you take me back to the motel room," Cas said firmly, finally sagging and pressing his lips to Dean's as he gave up. "I'm not going to have sex with you in a public place."

"But wouldn't the thought of getting caught turn you on?" Dean said in Cas' ear. "Doesn't it just make your dick twitch, thinking that we could just sneak behind those toilets and someone could catch me pounding into you at any moment?"

Cas shivered violently. Dean pulled back.

"Not up for it, Cas? Not in the mood? Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"

"Just the opposite," Cas said in a strangled voice. "And although the thought of being caught sleeping with you in a public area doesn't 'turn me on', the thought of you pounding into me…"

Dean grinned and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Well, if you get off me, I reckon I can be shoving you onto a bed in five minutes tops. That sound good to you?"

In response, Cas kissed him hungrily.


	58. This Got Out of Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I've read 4 of the 6 books of the series that Cas is reading and what I do remember of it…well, the world and its details were amazing but the characters weren't so much. So I'm kinda talking through Cas in this chapter. MY OPINION, not 'God approved fact' or whatever, so I'm totally fine if you disagree – it's just why I couldn't finish the series.
> 
> And it wasn't gonna be smut but LokiNeedsHugs1031 is having a tough time, so I thought I'd cheer her up a bit :) The back rubs kinda got lost in it…
> 
> (Also, I've got a thing for domineering dirty Cas and I couldn't find a way to write it in before but I took this chance and rolled with it I'm sorry)
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, Lorena_Shepard and 0ShadowPrincess0 for your comments :)

**58\. Give each other a back rub**

When Dean got back to their motel room to find Cas relaxing on their bed with a book, h had to pause in the doorway for a moment and just watch him. Cas being a warrior angel and all, it wasn't very often that Dean found him so totally relaxed and off his guard and he was willing to bet that if he wanted to, he could sneak up on his angel and scare the living daylights out of him.

But Dean wasn't that mean. If it was Sam? Sure, maybe he'd get back at that bitch for all the pranks Sam had pulled on him. But doing that to Cas, who wouldn't understand the appeal of being scared like that and would probably be so hurt that he wouldn't talk to Dean? Yeah, that was something to leave until Cas knew a bit more about humanity.

Realising that he was just standing in the doorway and watching Cas read with a sappy smile, Dean shook his head and crossed over to the bed. Cas jumped slightly when Dean sat down next to him but quickly relaxed and gave him a small smile.

"Hello, Dean."

"Whatcha reading, angel?"

In response, Cas held up a copy of 'City of Heavenly Fire'.

"It's the fourth in the series," he said.

"Never read it." Dean said. An idea suddenly struck him. "You like it?"

"The series is a mixed bag. The plot is engaging and I very much enjoy how this author has built her world – even if the real Raziel is quite different and real nephilim do not pass their powers beyond the first generation – but the characters themselves are lacklustre."

"Oh?" Dean straddled Cas' hips, trying not to grind down into his ass, and he stroked his hands down Cas' back and then began to knead – not hard enough to be a massage but hard enough to make Cas let out a loud purr.

"Y-Yes. I admit that I see no appeal in this Jace boy, and Clary is a rather empty character who has an alarming tendency to pass out or have something happen to her rather than engage in action a lot of the time. Her thoughts are rather distracting. Especially when all she does is think about Jace and his good looks and how in love she is. I love you a lot, Dean, but I don't constantly think about how beautiful you are. There is far more to love than just physical attraction."

"Cas!" Dean complained, his cheeks heating up. "What'd I tell you about saying crap like that?"

Cas purred particularly loudly when Dean ran his hands over his shoulder blades.

"I don't care. I will profess my love for you whenever I desire and one day, you will possess enough self-worth to see that I am right."

Dean rolled his eyes but didn't argue.

"So why're you still reading if you don't like it?"

"I want to finish the series. And I don't dislike it. I just don't like it either. I'm mostly reading for this world."

Cas sighed and then groaned as Dean dug his fingers into his sides.

"I just – I just wish that angel fantasy literature would contain compelling characters. I've read several series with fallen angels and we are supposed to view them as romantic and desirable but they are abusive and horrible to their female partners, who can be incredibly stupid."

"Eh, that's teenagers these days. Be glad you haven't read 'Twilight', man. I mean, I haven't read it but even I know how rapey the vamp is. Just don't worry about it and enjoy this back rub, angel."

Cas melted into the bed but after a moment, wriggled his hips. Dean lifted himself off Cas enough to let his angel turn onto his back and then Cas set his book aside on the bedside table and pulled Dean down in for a deep kiss. Dean groaned and ran his fingers through Cas' hair, shuddering when Cas wrapped his legs around his waist and rutted up.

"Bit eager there, aren't you?" Dean said hoarsely, unable to stop himself from grinding down.

"I was waiting for you to return but then you gave me that back rub and I decided not to interrupt you. I think Clary may have 'rubbed off' on me a bit."

Dean snorted.

"I'll give you rubbing off," he said, fumbling to unbutton Cas' shirt. Cas sat up to allow Dean to remove his trench coat, jacket, tie and shirt, tearing off Dean's own shirts as well, and then he grabbed Dean by the upper arms and flipped their positions.

"I think I'd like to top today." Cas' hair was wild and his eyes were blown and dammit, Dean would do anything for Cas when he gave him those eyes!

"You and your frigging puppy dog eyes," he muttered. Cas smiled innocently and reached for the button of Dean's jeans.

"On second thoughts, I'm rather impatient," he declared. With a click of his fingers, the both of them were naked and Cas was holding the bottle of lube in his hand and Dean found that using his angel mojo to sex him up was such a turn on that he was already freaking hard.

"You gotta use your mojo more," he managed to say as Cas poured out some lube and warmed it between his fingers. "So fucking _hot_."

"Oh?" Cas inserted a finger and Dean groaned and arched his back, his eyes squeezing shut. "You enjoy being reminded that you aren't being taken by a human? That the person making love to you is a creature?"

Any other time and Dean would have protested at Cas labelling himself a creature because he _wasn't_! He was Dean's angel! But _damn_ if that didn't make him even harder! And it was kind of hard to protest with a finger up his ass!

"I seem to have uncovered a 'kink'," Cas said proudly, crooking his finger. Dean swore when stars flashed before his eyes and Cas took this as his cue to stick another finger in. "I should have suspected it when I lost control and began to speak Enochian and you enjoyed that. I'm rather surprised, Dean. You, who kills monsters for a living, finds it arousing to be fucked by one?"

Dean let out a long, loud moan and yanked Cas' hair hard.

"Just – just fucking do it already!" he squeaked. Cas chuckled darkly and pulled his fingers out of Dean.

"As you wish."

It was a moment before Dean felt Cas pushing in to him and he couldn't do anything but groan and sigh.

"Nonci chia vvrbs, Dean," Cas whispered as he started to thrust. "Ol cordziz. Ol vvrbs cordziz."

Dean let out a strangled whimper and moved his hips to meet Cas' long, deep thrusts.

"Harder, Cas!" he pleaded. "Damn you – I don't beg – but harder!"

Cas complied and Dean just panted and moaned at the feeling of Cas sliding in and out of him. He tugged his angel's head down for a messy kiss.

" _Caaaaaasssss_!" he whined.

"You like this, don't you?" Cas hissed in Dean's ear. "You like being reminded that I'm not human. You enjoy the fact that you're being taken by a non-human. An odd kink, yes?"

"Cas!" Dean almost sobbed, hot desire driving him absolutely wild and fire simmering in his belly.

"Or maybe it's not that odd at all." Cas' rhythm was starting to become erratic and Dean dimly registered that he must be getting close, though this thought was quickly lost in the pleasure blanking out his mind and making his muscles seize up. "Maybe it's the idea of such a forbidden act happening to you that makes it so arousing. You hunt monsters for a living, after all. The very thought of one of those monsters taking you in such a vulnerable state, performing such acts to you, with your full consent…it's taboo. And that makes it very appealing."

His body trembling, begging for release, Dean let out a strangled sound that was quickly swallowed by a kiss.

"You can let go, my beautiful human. I want to see your face as you come."

Dean was so close – so freaking close…and then Cas easily pushed him over the edge.

"Nonci chia in, ol hoath," he murmured, his hips pounding into Dean. "That means that you are mine, my love. Nobody else's. And I am yours. Zir amiran."

Dean's back arched and he threw his head back, shouting loudly as he came and clung to Cas like an octopus with his muscles locked in place around his angel. It only took a few more thrusts for Cas to follow suit and, after a lazy click of his fingers to get rid of the mess and cover them with the blanket they had been lying on, he snuggled up to Dean and nuzzled into his collar.

"I hope that was to your liking, Dean," he said softly, all traces of his former, dominant, 'angel of the Lord' persona gone. "I don't know how it occurred to me to say all of that but –"

Dean silenced him with a kiss.

"That," he said, "was fucking amazing. You talk like that next time and I might actually die."

"So, was what I said right?"

"Maybe. I dunno. You gonna question it?"

Deep down, Dean knew that Cas was right. But the day he admitted that being taken and fucked by something non-human was his biggest kink was the day that Hell froze over. Man, if John was alive…

"You're thinking too hard," Cas complained, trailing a hand over Dean's chest and torso. "Just relax and ignore any dark thoughts that may try to threaten you."

Dean snorted and pressed a kiss to Cas' damp hair.

"You sure you don't feel any attraction or desire or whatever? 'Cause damn, angel, you're way better everyone else I've ever slept with."

Cas sighed.

"My asexuality does not define my sexual prowess. And just because I feel no sexual attraction to you, or necessarily any 'normal' desire, doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. I don't desire the sex itself but I know that it's how you best express your love for me and that love and intimacy is what I truly desire."

Dean frowned down at Cas.

"But this can't be the only way you get that 'intimacy', right? I mean, if this was the only way –"

"Trust me, Dean, I feel this intimacy every day, with every loving act you do – from our morning kisses, to when you buy me my coffee just how I like it, to every other thing you do for me. It's just far more pronounced when we sleep together because you're actively conveying it, as a sexual creature."

If Dean wasn't so tired, he would've worried and stressed over his angel having to rely on the thing he didn't actively desire to feel most loved. As it was, all he could do was give that dark thought the sleepy flick and vow to himself that he was gonna shower his angel with all the love in the morning. He was gonna prove that he didn't just need sex to show Cas that he loved him!

"S'pose we should thank Clary, then," he slurred. "I mean, she started that whole conversation and I got the best sex I've _ever_ had. And tomorrow, I'm gonna return the favour with all that small crap I do that you love."

Cas chuckled.

"Don't go to any trouble, Dean. I already know just how much you love me and I enjoyed providing you with that much pleasure. And yes, I believe we should thank Clary – as flat a character as she is, she isn't _bad_."

He twisted around and Dean cupped his cheek, raised his head and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

"Thank you, Clary Fray," Cas whispered with a mischievous smile. Dean grinned.

"Yeah, Thanks, Clary."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endnote translations! So glad that Enochian grammar rules are largely the same as English or else I'd be screwed. As it is, I think my teeth have rotted…
> 
> Nonci chia vvrbs, Dean: You are beautiful, Dean  
> Ol cordziz: My human  
> Ol vvrbs cordziz: My beautiful human  
> Nonci chia in, ol hoath: You are mine, my love  
> Zir amiran: I am yours


	59. Dean's Cheese is Showing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Ironically, these daily prompts are one of the few constant things in my life. I'm such a fickle person and FOREVER changing my mind about things, so forcing myself to do these daily gives me a sense of accomplishment because at least I can stick to ONE thing in my life.
> 
> Thanks to WolfMeister and MellQueenOfHell for your comments :)

**59\. Lovely surprise for partner**

Dean awoke the next morning to the wonderful sensation of being tangled around Cas, who was softly stroking his hair and humming something to himself. When he groaned and stretched, the humming stopped.

"Good morning, Dean," Cas said, leaning down to kiss Dean. Dean eagerly reciprocated, lifting a hand to cup Cas' face and using his other arm to push himself up.

"Mornin', angel," he grinned. "Love it when we sleep naked. Nothing better than waking up all over you."

He trailed a hand down Cas' chest, however he paused when Cas began to stiffen as he went further south.

"Already out of it?" he said. Cas nodded apologetically, so Dean reached back up to caress his cheek and then kissed him. "Hey, don't worry about it. C'mere."

He sat up and, mindful of Cas' admission the previous night of feeling the love and intimacy in every small thing he did for his angel (even if that was possibly the sappiest thing he'd ever heard), drew Cas in for a deep kiss. Cas made a small, surprised sound but eagerly kissed back, allowing Dean to haul him into his lap when the man reclined against the headboard of the bed.

"What was that for?" Cas rasped when they broke apart. Dean just grinned at him, warmth trickling through his body from his stomach.

"For being you," he said. "'Cause you're awesome."

Before Cas could say anything else, he lightly gripped his angel's face with both hands and pulled him back in for another kiss. This time, Cas ran his fingers through Dean's short, spiky hair and tugged lightly, eliciting a groan from Dean.

"Best good morning kiss ever?" Dean said breathlessly when he pulled back. Cas smiled dopily.

"Yes, Dean. We should get up now and get breakfast."

At the diner of the morning, Dean made sure that Cas was distracted when he grabbed their takeaway coffees and quickly drew a little smiley face with a halo on Cas' cup. Once they were out of the diner, he thrust Cas' coffee at him and waited for the ensuing cheesiness, wondering just how the hell he'd become such a freaking sap. When Cas didn't say anything, Dean chanced a peek and saw his angel examining the quick sketch with a soft smile on his face.

"You don't have to go to such effort, Dean," he said fondly. "I told you that I already feel your love in every little thing you do."

"Well, I don't," Dean said uncomfortably. "So suck it up, Cas. If I'm going gay, may as well go the whole mile with the sappy crap."

"I don't see how one can draw such stereotypes from a sexual orientation," Cas said but he did allow Dean to sling an arm around him and draw him in close. Still smiling, he turned and gave Dean a quick kiss.

"C'mon," Dean said, clearing his throat. "There's a park around town and I know you love the swings."

Cas' face lit up.

"You're going to push me on the swings?"

"And then we're gonna hit the road and tonight, you're getting a massage." Dean cleared his throat again and looked away uncomfortably. "I mean, I know you're fine with me not doin' this stuff but I should put more effort into showing you how much –"

Cas cut him off in a very nonverbal way.

"Don't start, Dean. I'll only accept your pampering if you're doing it because you want to, not because you feel obligated."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm doing it 'cause I wanna. Can we go now? You want me to push you or not?"


	60. Sing You to Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Well, I had to come home from work because I'm THIS close to puking up the only thing I can really keep down (this apple), so you get your prompt an hour and a half earlier. And it's also why I'm not going into detail with Dean's dream – I'm having enough trouble keeping this apple down, so the last thing I need is to write about blood and gore and horror.
> 
> Fun fact, though: My phone loves to autocorrect 'prompt' to 'porno', so I've probably killed my best friend twice while messaging her. WHY, PHONE, WHY.
> 
> Fun fact 2: The title of this chapter is from my favourite song, 'The Light Behind Your Eyes' by MCR. No matter what other songs I get hooked on, I always come back to this one and it will always be my favourite and make me cry. Always. Hell, if you want all the feels from this prompt, listen to that song while reading.
> 
> Thanks to 0ShadowPrincess0, MellQueenOfHell, Sophiawholock and WolfMeister for your comments :)

**60\. Sing a song to partner**

" _SOMEBODY HELP ME_!"

Dean shot upright in bed, panting and shaking and sweating from his, well, _hellish_ nightmare of Hell. Immediately, strong arms were encircling him and he was pulled into a tight embrace.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Cas said worriedly. "Was it a nightmare?"

Still trembling, Dean closed his eyes and nodded but regretted this when flashes of hellfire danced across his eyelids. His eyes flew open again.

"It's okay, human. I'm here. No demon will ever get their filthy hands on you again if I can help it. So long as I am alive, not one speck of hellfire will ever touch you."

Though he felt weak and helpless, being hugged by Cas while he shook like a baby, Dean couldn't help but admit that having his angel there to hold him was helping way more than any comfort drink or drive ever could. He probably wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon but having Cas there reassured him that no, he wasn't back in Hell, and if he was then Cas would simply swoop in and raise him again.

"Can you do somethin'?" Dean mumbled. "Can't just sit here. Tell me a story or somethin'?"

A gentle kiss was pressed to his head.

"Of course, Dean. There's a song that we sing in Heaven when we are happy and rejoicing with our loved ones. It should help to calm you."

Cas took a deep breath and then began to sing. The Enochian song was low, soft, melodious, with syllables that flowed into each other and covered Dean in a blanket of warm sound. There was hardly any tone to the song but Dean found himself conjuring images of sunny landscapes and glittering blue rivers and every other sappy, cheesy, happy, lovey-dovey setting out there. Instead of feeling threatened, however, he just felt content.

He didn't know how long he lay there in Cas' arms with his eyes closed, watching the picturesque landscapes drifting through his mind, but the last thing he remembered was Cas kissing him again with soft lips, and tingling warmth trickling from that point of contact. Then he slowly sunk back under – this time, with no nightmares.


	61. Fun in the Tub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> NSFW.
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Umbreon, 0ShadowPrincess0, MellQueenOfHell, SophiaWhoLock and KickAssCas for your comments :)

**61\. Hot tubs**

"We've got a _bath_!" Dean said gleefully. "We never get a bath, Cas!"

Cas just shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

"Do you want to have a bath, Dean?" he said.

"Hell yeah! C'mon!"

Dean dumped his bag on the bed and tugged Cas into the bathroom. Once he'd started the stream of hot water and stuck the plug in, he straightened up and turned to Cas with a grin.

"This is going to end in one or both of us orgasming," Cas said as Dean tugged his trench coat and suit jacket off him. "I know what that smile means, Dean."

"Can't help it, angel," Dean said unashamedly, unbuttoning Cas' shirt and pressing little kisses to his chest as more skin was exposed. "But only if you want it."

When he took one of Cas' nipples into his mouth and ran his tongue over it, Cas sucked in a deep breath and dug his fingers into Dean's shoulders. Dean grinned around the small nub and continued to lick, adding a scrape of teeth after a moment.

"Dean – I – Dean – the bath is about to overflow –"

Dean broke away from Cas in alarm to see that his angel was right and the water in the bathtub was threatening to flow over the sides. He quickly turned off the water and then turned back to Cas to see his angel totally naked, his clothes in a heap by the door.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he said, his eyebrow raised in a way that sent shivers down Dean's spine and made heat pool in his stomach. "Let me help."

Within moments, Dean was undressed and, grinning over his shoulder at Cas, he stepped into the bath and sank down into the hot water with a content sigh.

"You gotta get in, angel," he slurred. "The best feelin'."

When Cas joined him in the bath, Dean tugged him down into a sitting position and then wrapped his arms around his angel's waist, Cas' back against his front.

"You're right, Dean," Cas murmured. "This is very pleasant."

Dean tried to hold out and just relax with Cas for as long as possible. He really did. But it wasn't long before his hand began to drift south and Cas inhaled sharply when Dean's fingers closed around his dick.

"Wanna get jerked off in the bath?" he murmured in Cas' ear. Cas shuddered violently.

"Y-Yes," he gasped, arching into Dean's touch. Dean gradually increased the pace of his fist, until Cas was panting and writhing and digging his fingers into the arms around him, his head whipping from side to side.

"Nearly there?" Dean smirked when Cas bucked his hips up and water sloshed over the side of the tub. Cas let out a strangled groan as Dean pressed kisses along his shoulder.

"Dean – Dean, please – I – I need to – _Dean_ – I love you, Dean –"

Dean biting his neck lightly seemed to be what pushed Cas over the edge because he stiffened, his back arching and a long moan escaping his mouth. Most of his come was lost in the bath but Dean's hand wasn't submerged enough for all of it to wash off and, grinning, he brought his hand to his mouth and licked. Cas moaned softly at the sight, looking up at Dean with hooded blue eyes.

"I love you so much, Dean," he sighed, snuggling into Dean's embrace. Ignoring his hard-on, Dean just smiled and leaned down to kiss his angel.

"I need you too, angel. You got no freaking idea."

"Now allow me to return the favour. I know you must be painfully aroused."

Dean definitely didn't complain when Cas' hand wrapped around his aching cock.


	62. Probably Turned Out Crap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> This is probably total crap but I'm hot and my throat is sore and my head is killing me and I can't fucking concentrate but I've sworn never to miss an update unless I absolutely have to so it'll have to do.
> 
> Thanks to KMB and MellQueenOfHell for your comments :)

**62\. Dance together**

After their bath together, Dean wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed with Cas and just drift off. But Cas had other ideas.

"You haven't eaten dinner," he said firmly. "Go and get something to eat. I'll wait for you here."

Dean would've argued with Cas but his stomach chose that moment to rebel and growl loudly, so he just scowled and grabbed his keys with a muttered, "Fine."

"Traitor," he accused when he was outside. His stomach responded with another painful growl. "Oh, shut up."

After wolfing down a cheeseburger at the nearest diner, he drove back to the motel room and the sight that greeted him when he opened the door was that of Cas sitting on the bed with his eyes closed, swaying gently along to the music that was wafting out of the radio. Intrigued, Dean quietly closed the door behind him and edged into the room.

"Hello, Dean." Cas didn't open his eyes. "Did you enjoy your dinner?"

Dean nodded wordlessly, approaching Cas. He had no control over his limbs, so he couldn't stop himself from taking Cas' hand and tugging him to his feet and then holding him close.

"Dean? What are you –?"

"I dunno," Dean murmured, rocking on the spot in time with the music as Cas loosely wrapped his arms around the man's waist. "I dunno, angel."

Something warm was bubbling in his stomach and creeping through his body; he didn't know what this something was but he only ever felt it around Cas, and it always made him feel good and pure and like he was actually worth something. How could one person be so addictive? How could this one person have such a hold on him?

As though reading his thoughts, Cas tightened his arms and rested his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Cas?" Dean said. "I – you know – I – I lo – I can't!"

"It's okay, Dean," Cas said softly. "You don't have to say it. I know."

"Dammit, I _should_ be able to say it! It's just one freaking word and I wanna say it – God, I wanna say it so bad – but I can't! I'm too weak, Cas!"

Cas leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Dean's lips.

"You're not weak. Believe me, human, you're anything but. It doesn't mean anything that you can't say it. Like you said, it's just a word."

"You're twisting my words," Dean protested but there was no heat to it. Cas just laid his head on Dean's shoulder again.

"It's okay. I know you love me. And I love you too."


	63. This was MEANT to be Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So…I've gotten addicted to a game called 'Town of Salem' (CURSE YOU MARKIMOO) and I've literally been playing it ALL DAY. I love being a werewolf because I always win :D And I called myself Castiel and met someone called Dean and we professed our love through SPN quotes so ^_^
> 
> Also, I'm in GISHWHES! Dunno what I've gotten myself into XD
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Sadolive, WolfMeister, MellQueenOfHell, 0ShadowPrincess0, Shannon_Kind, KMB and Sablesilverrain for your comments :)

**63\. Carve initials into tree**

"Dean!"

Dean started at the stern voice from behind him. When he turned, grinning sheepishly, he found Cas with a less than amused look on his face.

"What's up, Cas?"

Frowning, Cas reached past him and ran a hand over the rough tree bark.

"Why would you defile this tree like this? There was no need to mark it in this way."

Dean looked back to the carved 'D + C' in a heart and his own heart began to sink. Of course Cas would object to harming an 'innocent life', even if it was a freaking tree. What the hell had he been thinking?"

"'M sorry," he muttered, sheathing his penknife.

"Dean –"

Not even looking at Cas, Dean strode off back towards Baby with slumped shoulders. When a hand gripped his shoulder, he stiffened.

"Lemme go."

"No."

"Cas, let me go."

"Dean, I want to apologise –"

"Got nothin' to apologise for."

"I do. You were simply trying to show me –"

"Yeah, show you!" Dean wrenched his shoulder from Cas' grip and looked down, his fists clenched. "All I can ever fucking do is show you! But I can't say it or anything! No, I gotta fuck everything up over and over 'cause I can't fucking do anything right and you shouldn't be stuck with some fuck-up like me when anyone else would give their right arm to have their very own angel –"

When he was seized and whirled around, he actually flinched back from the fury in Cas' eyes.

"And how many of those people would treat me as you do, Dean?" he whispered, his voice dripping with ice. "How many of them would simply see me as a useful tool? You, Sam and Bobby are the _only_ people I know who see me as Cas – not Castiel, or the mighty angel of the Lord who could smite them in a heartbeat, or the rebellious result of our Father's failure when He created the last of the angels. And of you three, I only harbour any romantic feelings for one. _You_ , Dean."

Dean made a surprised sound when Cas actually shook him.

" _I don't care_ that you can't tell me that you love me. _I don't care_ that you're a 'fuck-up'. _I don't care_ about anybody else nearly as much as I care about _you_! And it _physically_ pains me that you continue to think so little of yourself when I go out of my way to tell you how much I love you and what an amazing, selfless, caring person you are!"

"Cas –"

When Cas shoved him back and pinned him to the tree, all he could do was stare back with wide eyes.

" _Be quiet and listen, Dean_! You need to stop this flagellation whenever you do something that I am even a little opposed to! You told me once that you didn't want a 'trophy wife' of me; that you like me for being smart and independent and your equal. And if we are equal then you should not berate yourself every time you feel that you did something wrong! We're _equal_ , Dean. It shouldn't always be about what _I_ want or what _I_ believe."

Dean scowled at the fact that Cas had used his own words against him. When he opened his mouth to protest, Cas quickly silenced him with his hand.

"We have differing opinions; we can't be exactly the same. I would not even feel this way about you if we were exactly the same. I love you because you're _you_ , Dean. I feel most strongly about you when you are being yourself and doing or saying something typically 'Dean'. I love you for _you_. The man I love sacrificed everything for his brother; even his soul. He taught me free will. He refused to follow his preordained destiny simply because he was told that he must. He did not let _anybody_ bring him down – except himself. And I wish that he wouldn't let himself believe that he is worthless and unwanted."

Cas removed his hand from over Dean's mouth but Dean wasn't given a chance to make a single sound, as it was replaced with a pair of soft lips. Dean blinked in surprise as Cas roughly kissed him and when he tried to wrap his arms around Cas' neck, his angel simply grabbed his wrists with one hand and pinned them over his head.

"One day," Cas swore breathlessly, peppering Dean's face with aggressive kisses. "One day, you will see. Oh, Dean, if you could just see yourself through my eyes for one moment –"

"Just shuddup and kiss me!" Dean panted as his cheeks began to flame, not wanting Cas to launch into another 'shower Dean with love' speech. When was Cas gonna see that he just wasn't worth it? That he was just gonna be saddled with a broken, pathetic excuse for a man for the rest of his immortal angel life? That –

Cas made a small growling sound and smashed their lips together again, furiously licking into Dean's mouth and biting his lower lip, then soothing it with his tongue. Actually, if it meant that Cas kissed him like this more often…maybe Dean could get used to the whole 'not actually a worthless pile of crap' thing.


	64. So Fetch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to MellQueenOfHell, Hirotashi, 0ShadowPrincess0, blackest_eyes, Umbreon, Sophiawholock and WolfMeister for your comments :)

**64\. Watch a movie while cuddling under blankets**

"Seriously?" Dean complained. "This movie sucks!"

Cas scowled at him.

"Well, I want to watch it," he said firmly. Dean groaned.

"But 'Mean Girls'? Come on, Cas! I dealt with enough teenage drama when _I_ was at high school!"

"I've heard that it's a very popular movie, Dean, and my knowledge of pop culture is sorely lacking. I thought that it might benefit me to watch it."

When Cas turned the full force of those poppy dog eyes on him, Dean felt any resistance he might have crumble. How the hell was he supposed to say no to those bright blue eyes?

"Fine," he grumbled. "But don't blame me if I fall asleep."

"Of course not, Dean," Cas said happily, turning up the volume. While he wriggled around to get comfortable, Dean pulled their blanket up so that they were both snuggling together underneath it, Dean in Cas' arms with his back to Cas' front. Dean grinned to himself when Cas pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head and began to stroke his hair idly.

Surprisingly enough, Dean managed to stay awake for the whole movie. But he regretted it the next day when nearly everything out of Cas' mouth was a reference to that damn movie!


	65. Pushing Dean's Buttons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**65\. Clothes are no fun**

"Dean, I said I was sorry!"

Dean just rolled his eyes and refused to look at the angel.

"Whatever."

"Dean, please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you."

Dean could feel his resolve starting to crack but he crossed his arms stubbornly. He was in the right here! And even though being an ass to Cas when the angel was apologising made his stomach sink, he wasn't just going to give in! A pair of arms encircled his waist.

"Please don't be mad at me any longer," Cas murmured, pressing light kisses to the back of Dean's neck. Dean clenched his fists, trying not to break. Suddenly, Cas' arms disappeared and Dean had to force himself not to show any signs of disappointment, or turn around curiously when he heard the sound of rustling behind him.

"Dean."

Against his better judgement, Dean turned around and blood instantly surged south when he saw Cas easily undressing himself, already up to taking off his pants.

"Dammit, Cas!" he groaned, lips twitching. "I'm not happy with you! You can't pull that crap!"

Cas just smiled at him. Fully naked, he wrapped his arms around Dean and started to trail kisses along his jaw and neck.

"I'm sorry, Dean. Let me make it up to you."

Unable to help himself any longer, Dean melted into Cas' touch and mentally sighed with relief at not being angry at Cas any longer. Even if he was justified, he hated being annoyed at his angel; it made him feel like a horrible, crappy person.

"That's not fair, Cas," he muttered, though with no heat. Cas chuckled and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Of course it's not, Dean." He slid his hands under Dean's shirt and lightly scraped his fingers down Dean's front, making the man shudder violently under his touch. "But you can do whatever you like with me if you forgive me. You can take me in any way you wish. Fuck me however you want. I won't complain."

Dean glared weakly at Cas. When the hell did Cas start talking dirty like that?

"You are the most _annoying_ person I've ever met, angel. You know I can't stay mad at you! Especially when you talk like that!"

Cas smiled angelically.

"I know," he said innocently before gently biting Dean's collar. Dean just swore under his breath and grabbed Cas' hair, ready to yank like he knew his angel loved.


	66. Cas is a Sap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Pretty much my day today. Except with 100% more Cas and no actual breakdowns.
> 
> Thanks to 0ShadowPrincess0 and KMB for your comments :)

**66\. Hold partner's hand, stare into their eyes, kiss their hand, put it over heart**

' _Yay,'_ Dean thought dully, cleaning his guns after their quick salt and burn. _'One of those days.'_

Dean often felt dead inside – as one did when they were as mentally fucked up as he was – but usually, it was only in bursts in between emotions. Lately, however, it seemed to be one constant period of apathy, with actual emotions slowly losing to the numbness.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas said. "You've been very quiet today."

"'M okay," Dean said, flashing Cas a quick, empty grin. Cas didn't look convinced. "Really. I'm fine, Cas."

Cas still looked rather disbelieving but, to Dean's relief, he didn't push it. Instead, he shifted closer and took Dean's hand.

"I know that something is wrong," Cas said. "But I also know that you won't tell me what it is. Just know that I'm always here for you, my human."

Staring straight into the other man's eyes, he raised Dean's hand to his lips, pressed a gentle kiss to it and then lovingly placed it over his own heart.

"I love you, Dean. I truly love you with every tiny bit of my being."

Dean unconsciously leaned closer to Cas, who slid an arm around his shoulders and drew him in close. While Cas stroked his hair and planted small kisses in it, his eyes fluttered shut and he allowed his first smile all day to break through as warm love and gratitude flowed through him.


	67. Love is in the Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Hirotashi, Sadolive, 0ShadowPrincess0 and Sophiawholock for your comments :)

**67\. Take partner away while cooking and 'sauté' them with kisses**

"Cas – seriously, angel –" Dean protested. "I gotta – y'know I gotta make sure the food doesn't burn –"

A giddily smiling Cas ignored him in favour of continuing to try and pull him away from the small kitchenette, occasionally planting quick kisses on his cheek.

"Cas, I don't have time for even a quick –"

"But I'm not in the mood, Dean!" Cas said, grinning widely. "The thought of sex currently makes me shudder! I just feel incredibly happy and light and I want to kiss you so much that you become breathless because you're my beautiful human and I want to give you as much love as I can!"

Dean's cheeks flushed and he doubled his focus on the cooking food in front of him. However, Cas was having none of it.

"Fine. I suppose that I'll have to redouble my efforts."

"Cas – 'm serious – it'll burn –"

Cas waved a careless hand at the food and Dean could almost feel the rush of grace that his angel used to ensure the safety of their dinner. Before he knew what was happening, Cas had then tugged him away, shoved him down into a nearby chair and straddled his lap.

"Caaaaaasssss!" he whined as he wrapped his arms around Cas' waist, though he couldn't even be slightly annoyed at the angel who was currently peppering his face with kisses.

"Is this not much more fun than cooking?" Cas said, nibbling tiny kisses down Dean's nose. "I know that I'd much prefer to kiss you than cook because you are my beautiful – wonderful – kind – loyal – caring – amazing – human –"

Cas pecked Dean on the lips between each word.

"– and I love you more than life itself and I don't know why I currently feel this way but I immensely enjoy it!"

Dean could feel the flush creeping down his neck.

"C'mon, Cas," he complained. "Y'know I don't deserve any of –"

Cas silenced him with a long, aggressive kiss.

"I swear to my Father, Dean," he growled, "that if you try and say something degrading about yourself or put yourself down _one_ more time…"

Dean tried to look away but Cas gripped his chin tightly, preventing his gaze from sliding away from those beautiful blue eyes.

"I don't like it. I don't like it when you feel the need to belittle yourself and believe yourself unworthy of my love. If anything, it is the opposite; _I_ am unworthy of _yours_."

Cas started to kiss down Dean's neck. Dean forced himself not to accidentally buck upwards into Cas' crotch; it wouldn't make the angel upset but in his current mood, he wouldn't like it either.

"You have been through _so much_ , Dean. And yet you still find it in your heart to help others and put their needs before yours, even though you owe them nothing. We could quite easily settle down together and live a peaceful, happy life without seeking any supernatural problems –"

Dean's insides did a funny little dance at the revelation that Cas wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, though a small pit did take hold at the idea that he was just dragging Cas everywhere and expecting too much of him and maybe Cas did want to just settle down and forget about vampires and werewolves and ghosts and demons and angels –

"– but I enjoy travelling with you and hunting together. I enjoy helping people with you. And your selflessness is one of the things I love most about you."

He gave Dean a deep, gentle kiss.

"So forgive me for thinking you deserving of my love. You are the _only_ one I will _ever_ love this much, Dean. And not a day passes where I don't thank my Father profusely that you chose _me_ as your lover. You could have your pick of hundreds of more experienced women who would love to be with you and could give you what you want at any time and show your body the love it deserves but –"

"But I chose you because you're _my_ angel," Dean said firmly. "And if anyone else even _thinks_ they have a chance with you, they can forget it. _No one's_ gettin' their hands on you. You're _mine_ , Cas. I don't care how inexperienced you are or if you go through these weird little sex moods or that you don't find me physically attractive."

"Sexually," Cas corrected. "You are very physically attractive."

"You get what I mean." Dean's arms tightened around Cas' waist and he suddenly stood up, making Cas emit a huff of surprise and hook his legs around Dean's waist and grip the back of Dean's shirt tightly. "I don't _care_ about that stuff. You're _my_ angel and I need you so fucking much."

He gave Cas a quick kiss and then pulled away, so that their foreheads rested on the other's.

"We suck at this," he said with a small grin. "We just seem to go round and round in circles with this stuff."

"One day we'll break that circle," Cas promised, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

"Yeah. One day. Now, I'm gonna take you to bed and I'm gonna kiss you so much that _you_ go breathless. 'Cause _you_ deserve all this, Cas. You're so fucking selfless and loyal and you've done so much for me that I'll never be able to pay you back for. Least I can do is make you feel good."

He swallowed Cas' protests in the hungry kiss he pressed to his angel's lips as he staggered towards the bed.

"What about the food?" Cas said as Dean carefully laid him on the bed in an almost reverent manner. Dean just shrugged, swinging his leg over Cas' hips.

"Ah, let it burn," he said dismissively, already unbuttoning Cas' shirt and running his hands down Cas' front in that gentle, loving way that he knew made his angel shudder and melt. "Why should I care about some food when I got a Castiel that needs to be showered with attention and convinced that he's freaking awesome?"

Cas sank into the bed and closed his eyes, purring as Dean bent down to begin covering his whole chest with tender kisses. Who needed food when he had an angel?


	68. People are Dicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So on the page I admin, I posted a '10 Reasons I Love Dean' pic and someone commented 'Yeah but he's a fuck boy so no'. Naturally, I reacted as I always do when I encounter Dean hate: I fucking write about it. I do NOT believe in slut-shaming because I do NOT believe that sluts exist; people can sleep with as many other people as they like, even though I may not agree with it, and no one else has any right to judge. Slut is just a word used to shame people into conforming to society's double standards.
> 
> Incidentally, if you haven't listened to 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica, I highly suggest that you do. It's as though Dean wrote it about himself. Seriously.
> 
> Thanks to Evangeline74, Jo_Winchester, 0ShadowPrincess0 and KMB for your comments :)

**68\. Stand up for partner when someone says unkind things about them**

Normally, Dean could deal with people talking shit about him. He'd put up with it all his life and he already knew that he was a crappy person, so it wasn't anything he'd heard before. But having people talk about him like that in front of Cas…saying those degrading things in front of his angel…that, he couldn't fucking handle.

"Pretty, ain't he?" one of the guys nearby sniggered.

"Damn, yeah," another agreed. "Betcha he's the chick out of 'em. Wonder if he wears little dresses and takes it up the ass for Blue-Eyes?"

"Dean?" Cas said softly as Dean's hands clenched so hard around his drink that his knuckles turned white. "Ignore them, Dean. They're not worth a moment of your time."

"C'mon, give us a kiss!" a third guy hollered.

"What d'you say?" the last one of the group said. "Reckon your man would whore you out to us? Be a shame to pass up on something so gorgeous."

"Someone that pretty won't be keeping it in his pants," the second guy sneered. "I'm tellin' ya, he's probably slept with half the country like the pretty little slut he is.

Dean closed his eyes, humiliation flooding through him. He heard the scrape of a chair and then, to his horror, Cas confronting the men with a voice so chilly that the Arctic seemed like a rainforest by comparison.

"Dean _is_ very pretty," he said coldly. "And he's _mine_. I will _not_ stand for a group of men that are insecure in their sexuality that they must belittle other people saying anything less than flattering about my human."

Silence fell upon them.

"You sayin' what we think you're sayin', Blue?" one of the men said dangerously. "You sayin' that we're faggots like you?"

"I'm saying nothing of the sort," Cas said primly. "The four of you, however, are doing a fine job of suggesting it through your lewd comments about my human. He's _off-limits_. I've dealt with much more threatening monsters than a group of bullies."

Dean opened his eyes, tried to stand up and pull Cas away before the guys got pissed, but Cas had the entire situation under control. As the first man lunged at him, snarling, Cas easily sidestepped and kicked him onto a nearby table. He punched the second man who surged at him, swept the third man's legs out from underneath him and simply caught the last man's fist and twisted until the guy fell to his knees, gritting his teeth.

"If you _ever_ speak _one_ word ill of Dean again, I will hunt you down and you will very quickly learn the error of your ways," Cas hissed. "Do you understand me?"

The guy quickly nodded, eyes watering, so Cas released him and turned to Dean with a stony face.

"Come on, Dean."

Dean was quick to follow Cas out of the bar, flushing as everybody's eyes trailed after him, and when he was outside, he let out a groan and covered his face with his hands.

"Dammit, Cas!" he said. "Why'd you have to go and do that?"

"They were saying cruel and untrue things about you, Dean," Cas said, puzzled. "I defended you."

"Exactly! They say all that crap about me and then you go and prove them right by 'defending my honour'! I can take care of myself!"

Cas took Dean's hand and led him towards the Impala.

"You shouldn't allow those men to make you feel embarrassed or any less of a man," he said firmly. "Their words are only true if you allow them to be. You're one of the manliest men I've ever met, Dean. If anything, I would be the 'chick, as I am the one who talks about my feelings and I am the one more likely to do 'girly' things, as I show no regard for gender stereotypes. Yet you think no less of me."

"You just made things worse by making me _look_ like the little bitch," Dean mumbled, looking down. Cas easily lifted his chin back up.

"If our roles were reversed, you would have done a lot worse to those men in order to defend my honour," he said quietly, leaning forward to kiss Dean. "You would have nearly killed them for daring to say unkind things about me. So it's very hypocritical of you to berate me for standing up for you."

Dean looked away, his insides settling into cool numbness.

"Y'right. 'M sorry."

Cas cupped his face and leaned his forehead against Dean's.

"It's okay, Dean. Just know that your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. I love you so much and I will not let anybody speak of you in anything less than the highest of praise. Do you understand?"

Dean just nodded and let Cas kiss him again, wondering how long it'd take for Cas to realise just how much of a fuck-up he was and finally leave him like everyone else did.


	69. IT GOT TOO LONG HELP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I only just realised after writing this that it was the 69th prompt…whoops? XD Also, I've read so much of this male kink that I'm starting to see the appeal in it (and Dean's canonically expressed an interest in it and this is continued Dean love…), so I thought I'd give it a go. Props to LokiNeedsHugs31, who had to go through three hours of me teasing her before she guessed what it was :P
> 
> (Didn't mean for the angst to get that long but meh the sex is worth it I swear and you better appreciate it because the research made me slightly uncomfortable and not because I'm straight which I'm not but because these sort of pics make me slightly uncomfortable as someone who's not really one for sexual attraction and freaks out slightly at sexy pictures but I love you guys so)
> 
> NSFW. Obviously. (To quote one Severus Snape).
> 
> Thanks to KMB, 0ShadowPrincess0, SophiaWhoLock and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**69\. Fulfil one of partner's fantasies**

Though Dean tried not to let what those guys had said about him get to him, it was inevitable that he couldn't help but agonise over the attack on his manliness. While his former masculinity had been largely blown out the window thanks to his beautiful Cas (because really, it _was_ pretty hard to keep being what his dad and most of the world believed was a 'true man' when he was doing cheesy crap with his angel and having gay sex), he still had to cling to the fact that he _was_ a man and so he _shouldn't_ go complete girl like Sam had. He _couldn't_ turn into a total chick!

"Dean?" Cas rasped as Dean held him after rather roughly fucking his brains out (Cas had offered to 'make love' to him but after that jab about taking it up the ass for Cas, Dean just couldn't handle bottoming). "Are you okay?"

"'M fine," Dean said quietly, idly stroking his angel's hair. Cas shifted onto his side, grunting as he did so, and Dean's stomach began to churn unpleasantly as he realised just how rough he'd been when pounding into Cas in what he now realised was a desperate attempt to prove that he _was_ still a manly man. "What about you? I wasn't exactly gentle."

"Don't worry about me, Dean. I'm fine."

"No. You're sore. I hurt you."

Cas shrugged. Dean's stomach dropped as bile threatened to make a journey up his throat.

"It's of little consequence. I could heal myself of the pain if I wished."

"Cas –"

"You're not the only one who enjoys pain when having intercourse, Dean. I enjoyed how rough you were."

Dean just shook his head in denial. He'd _hurt_ Cas – hurt his angel, who he'd sworn never to hurt again if he could help it – and how could he face Cas now, after just using him as an outlet for all the shit that those men had said – God, how could he let total strangers get to him so much that he _hurt_ his angel –

"Dean?" Cas said in alarm as Dean wrenched himself away from the angel and rolled over, his stomach heaving. "Dean, are you –"

"Don't!" Dean said sharply when Cas touched his arm gently. Cas jerked away as though he'd been electrocuted.

"Dean –"

"I fucking _hurt_ you, Cas! I – I can't –"

Dimly, Dean registered that he wasn't breathing. Desperate to not have a panic attack for the first time in ages and lose it in front of Cas, he closed his eyes and gulped in deep breaths of air, blaring 'Nothing Else Matters' in his mind as loudly as possible. He had to breathe…he had to keep breathing…

"Dean?"

Dean felt Cas yank him around into a tight hug and begin to stroke his back, murmuring soothing things as Dean finally managed to start calming down, his fingernails digging into Cas' shoulders so hard that he was certain he'd drawn blood.

"Dean, I enjoyed it," Cas said, pressing a kiss to Dean's hair. "You can't damage me – I'm an angel. If I had truly disliked it, I would have told you."

"Doesn't matter!" Dean burst out, shoving himself away from Cas again. "I'm usually in a good headspace when we have rough sex! I shouldn't've fucked you like that!"

"Dean –"

"I was just trying to prove a fucking point!"

"Dean, calm –"

Dean scrambled away from Cas when the angel reached for him. Cas withdrew his hand and Dean's stomach dropped at the hurt in his blue eyes.

"I hurt you," he whispered. "Just – just go."

"Dean –"

"Please, Cas! I can't – just go! Get outta here!"

Cas visibly wilted. In the blink of an eye, he was dressed and standing next to the bed.

"I'll be back in the morning," he said dully. Dean's insides began to break and he opened his mouth, intent on begging Cas not to leave and to stay, but nothing came out. "Have a good night, Dean. If you need me, pray for me."

"Cas –"

Cas vanished with the sound of rustling wings. Dean remained frozen where he was, mouth open, before letting out a bellow and seizing the nearest thing to him: the lamp on the bedside table.

"You fucking idiot!" he cried, throwing the lamp clean across the room and watching with vindictive satisfaction as it broke. But that wasn't enough. Rage and self-loathing surging through him, he headed for the bathroom and glared at his red-faced, bleary-eyed reflection. Before he could stop himself, he let out a shout and slammed his fist right in the middle of his reflection's face, shattering the mirror and opening gashes all over his hand as the shards sliced his skin on their way to the sink and ground.

"How could you fucking hurt him like that?" he roared at what little of his reflection was visible in the few mirror shards that remained in the frame. But he got no answer. Of course not. When could he ever fucking handle his feelings in a rational way? Hell, the only reason he wasn't drinking himself into a stupor was because he had no fucking alcohol with him!

On his way out of the bathroom, Dean paused to grab large wads of toilet paper; not to try and help his bloody hand – because he didn't deserve any help or comfort whatsoever – but so that he didn't get blood on the bedcovers and have to bluster his way through yet another awkward explanation to a furious motel employee. But try as he might, no matter how long he lay in the uncomfortable bed, he couldn't get to sleep without Cas there to hold him as he drifted off. Normally, he could sleep without Cas, even if it took longer to get there; but how the fuck was he supposed to sleep when Cas was out there, hurt, and his stomach was churning and heaving and he was shaking and dammit, he did _not_ need to have another near-attack right now!

When sunlight finally began to stream through the windows, Dean's heart lifted a fraction. Was Cas coming back? Or had the angel finally realised that Dean was nothing but a fuck-up and that he was better off finding someone else? His question was answered by the familiar sound of rustling and, unable to help himself, he grinned widely and his insides began to soar.

"You came back," he croaked, though he didn't turn around. He _couldn't_ face Cas; not yet.

"Of course I did." Cas sounded bewildered. "I will always come back. You desired a night to yourself, to come to terms with your thoughts, so I left you for the night as you asked."

Dean let out a harsh laugh.

"Shouldn't've done that. Haven't slept a fucking wink. I wanted you to come back before you even left."

"Then why didn't you pray to me?"

Dean shrugged.

"Figured you'd realised that you'd be better off finding someone else instead of staying with my worthless ass."

He winced at Cas' sharp intake of break. Dammit. He'd fucked up again!

"How many times – Dean, _look at me_!"

Dean reluctantly turned over, only to be met with a pair of blazing blue eyes inches from his face. He gulped and shifted away.

"You are _not_ worthless! You are _my human_! When will you _finally_ get it through your head that I will _never_ leave you? Have you believed _none_ of my praises?"

"'M sorry."

" _Do not apologise_! You have _nothing_ to be sorry for!"

Cas' enraged features softened and he reached out to caress Dean, who flinched.

"Did you think that I was going to hurt you just then?"

"No. But you'd be right to."

Cas closed his eyes for a few moments.

"I _liked_ the pain, Dean. You _didn't_ break me. You _can't_ break me! I enjoy being 'fucked hard' just as much as you do!"

"Except that I did it for the wrong reason!" Dean burst out. "I did it to prove a point to some fuckwits who shouldn't even matter! I let them get to me and I fucking hurt you! What if it gets worse, Cas? What if I start fucking hitting you and taking it out on you? Just like –"

He broke off abruptly. Cas stilled, his eyes wide.

"Just like your father?" he said quietly. Ashamed, Dean looked away and nodded.

"Dad wasn't the worst father out there," he mumbled. "He could be pretty cool – y'know – when he wasn't being an ass. Took me and Sam to wrestling matches and other shit, even if that father-son stuff was rare. But…he was a mean drunk. And most of the time…it was after hunts gone wrong or someone said shit about him like those guys said about me…and I can't – I fucking can't, Cas! I can't hurt you like that!"

Cas' face crumpled.

"Oh, Dean." He bent down and pressed a sweet, gentle kiss to Dean's lips. Dean stiffened. "You are _nothing_ like that. You would _never_ hurt me."

"Done it to Sam," Dean mumbled. "He's my brother and I've hit him before. He's hit me too. 'M gonna do it to you one day. Hell, I – I would've done it last night if you hadn't left. That's why I didn't call you. Didn't deserve you. You don't deserve some guy with a fuck tonne of issues."

Before Dean knew what was going on, Cas had pulled him into a tight hug and begun to stroke his hair. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, desperate not to start sobbing like a baby when his masculinity was already teetering on a knife's edge of shattering for good, and tangled his fingers in Cas' trench coat, ignoring his throbbing, sticky hand, his chest heaving with sobs that he was determined to keep down.

"You can stop being such a noble hero, Dean," Cas said softly, leaving tiny kisses in Dean's hair. "You stabbed me when we first met outside of Hell. I beat you terribly when you left to say yes to Michael. We're not a normal couple and we never will be. It's inevitable that we will physically hurt each other at some point in order to relieve tension – after all, you are a hunter and I am a warrior of God and fighting is something that we both understand intimately. And while it will never be okay, it should not be that big a problem because neither of us will ever abuse the other. That will _never_ happen. I love you too much to ever raise a hand to you in that way and I know that you feel the same way."

Dean just closed his eyes and sagged against Cas, his arms falling, not making any more effort to hold back his tears because he was too drained to even cry. He felt Cas brush his lips across his forehead and then very carefully take his injured hand.

"You're hurt," the angel murmured. Warm grace trickled through Dean's hand, closing and healing every mirror cut and easing the stabbing pain to a tingling.

"Thanks, angel," Dean mumbled.

"Stay here, Dean. Get dressed, but don't put on too many clothes. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He carefully laid Dean down on the bed and then vanished. Dean got up in order to pull a shirt and his jeans on and then lay back down and stared up at the ceiling blankly, absently counting the minutes until Cas came back and he could lie in his angel's arms again, and it was nine minutes and thirty four seconds before Cas reappeared next to the bed with a bag in his hands and a small, mischievous smile on his face.

"What's in the bag?" Dean said, struggling into a sitting position. Cas just leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"You'll see. Give me a minute."

He disappeared into the bathroom with the bag. Dean frowned and cocked his head, trying to pick up any clue of what Cas was up to, but the only thing he could hear was the occasional rustle of clothing. Was Cas getting naked? So what was in the bag? Was it –?

Blood suddenly surged south and Dean let out a tiny moan. Had Cas bought _toys_?

Nope. Cas had bought something even better. When the bathroom door opened, Dean's mouth dropped as any remaining blood in his body raced to his dick and made him harder than he'd been in a long fucking time. He was _definitely_ not responsible for the strangled sound that escaped his mouth!

"Cas…" he whimpered. Cas just smiled shyly at him.

"Do you like it?" he said. "I've…seen several of your dreams before and you seem to have a fondness for this sort of thing. I know that you have only visualised women before but I thought…maybe I would have the same effect on you."

" _The same effect_?" Dean squeaked. "I – Cas – _that's not the same_!"

Cas frowned.

"You don't like it?"

Dean gaped like a fish, trying to think through his blood-deprived brain and rock hard cock.

" _I fucking love it_ ," he finally managed to gasp out. Cas had stripped out of his normal clothes and in their place…oh, that was _so fucking hot_! Instead of his normal clothes, he was now wearing a tight, white, lacy negligee, which hid nothing as it stretched over Cas' fairly toned chest and torso; a lacy garter belt, to which sheer white stockings were attached; a pair of white silk panties, which only barely hid his obviously hard cock and which made Dean shift uncomfortably in his now very tight jeans; and, to top off the outfit, a large pair of fluffy white wings and a white halo.

"I'm glad," Cas said in relief. "The shop assistant gave me a strange look when I told her that it was for me but I suspected that you would like it. I've seen women in your dreams dressed in this way. I just hoped that I would have the same effect.

"I'd say so," Dean said in a small voice. "Those women can get lost. Just…"

Cas' smile faded slightly.

"Yes? What is it?"

Dean waved a shaking hand.

"Lose those wings. They suck compared to the real thing."

"But my wings are black and the outfit is –"

" _I don't care_. I – I want _your_ wings. I got a _real_ angel."

Cas' face broke into a wide grin and he was quick to shrug off the stupid fake wings and bring out his real, massive, jet black wings, even if they did tear through the negligee. If it was possible, Dean's dick grew even harder.

"Don't just stand there!" he forced out. "You – you can't just stand there like that and expect me to be _alright_!"

Still smiling widely, Cas crawled onto the bed and settled himself on Dean's hips.

"You deserve this, Dean," he said firmly. "I'm offering myself to you as a gift. I'm going to show you that you deserve every little bit of love that I can give you, and more."

"So – so why'd I have to get dressed?" Dean said through his hazy mind. Cas chuckled.

"So that I could undress you, of course."

He slowly slid his hands up Dean's shirt and pushed it up as his hands went higher and yeah, Dean was _definitely_ okay with this, even if he wanted his clothes off like right _now_. He sat up eagerly so that Cas could tug the shirt off and then settled back, his skin buzzing as Cas ran his hands down Dean's chest. When Cas bent down and took a stiff nipple into his mouth, Dean groaned loudly.

"Don't think I'm gonna last with you in that outfit," he said thickly. Cas chuckled and gently bit the nub between his teeth.

"I suppose I'll have to 'get to the good stuff', then," he said as Dean swore under his breath and arched up into Cas' touch.

"Please!" he agreed. Cas just smiled angelically and began to lavish attention on Dean's other nipple, before finally kissing his way south. By the time he reached the waistband of Dean's jeans, Dean was panting and writhing and desperate for some – _any_ – attention to his raging boner!

"Perhaps I should wear female lingerie more often," Cas mused, slowly unbuttoning Dean's jeans. "It seems to have a profound effect on you."

" _Yes, please_!" Dean choked. Cas smiled and then, to Dean's sexually frustrated horror and delight, took the jeans between his teeth and lazily pulled them down with only his mouth. Dean let out a long, strangled moan.

" _Are you trying to drive me crazy_?" he burst out. Cas looked up at him innocently, blue eyes sparkling.

"Yes," he said when Dean's pants were finally off (and Dean thanked every deity out there that he hadn't put his boxers back on). He regarded Dean's red, aching dick almost curiously for a moment before leaning down and giving the head a small lick. Dean immediately jerked beneath him, biting down an embarrassingly high whimper.

"Please!" he practically sobbed. Cas sighed and shook his head.

"Another day," he said. "I'll have to wait until another day to truly tease you. But seeing as I'm your present and this is what you want…"

Dean almost cried in relief when Cas' hot, wet mouth finally enveloped his cock and he bobbed his head, taking Dean's length in practically all the way. Dean made a funny sound when the head of his cock bumped the back of Cas' throat.

"No fucking gag reflex…" he muttered to himself in an almost worshipful way. Cas simply looked at him from underneath his lashes, bright blue eyes the epitome of innocence that contrasted heavily with the pretty pink lips wrapped around Dean's cock, before he swallowed. Dean groaned loudly as Cas' throat worked around his dick and his hand shot out and yanked Cas off his dick by the hair.

"Not yet, then," the angel said in amusement as Dean squeezed his eyes shut and waited for his impending orgasm to fade away.

"When do I get to put my dick in you?" Dean said in a small voice. "Because I don't know how much longer I can hold out before blowing my load."

Cas snorted.

"Such eloquent language. I suppose we could get to that now, if you like."

Dean nodded frantically.

"But not until I've showered you with love."

As Cas began to press kisses to the insides of Dean's thighs, the man let out a frustrated sigh and thumped his head on the pillow. This sigh quickly turned into a moan when Cas licked a stripe up his shaft, then used that fucking amazing tongue of his on Dean's balls, and Dean let out another moan when Cas raised his legs so that he could kiss the skin between his balls and hole.

" _Jesus_!" he yelped when Cas suddenly plunged his tongue into Dean's hole. "Wait – Cas – no – _stop_ –"

Cas immediately pulled back, a concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong, Dean? Did I hurt you?"

Dean shook his head.

"Just – not – not after –"

Cas' face cleared.

"Ah. You're not yet ready for me to touch that part of you again after what was said."

Dean nodded in shame.

"'M sorry, Cas. I know you've done it before and I shouldn't care what they –"

Cas silenced him with a swift kiss.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Dean. I won't touch you anywhere that you're not comfortable. And this is my present to you, so I won't do anything that you don't want – not that I ever would anyway."

Dean nodded, his cheeks flaming. Cas straddled him again and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"I love you, Dean," he said, trailing one of his wings over the place he'd kissed. Dean sighed and closed his eyes. "Don't ever be ashamed of yourself. And don't ever think of yourself as anything less than amazing. I may not hold normal human ideas of what is shameful but I would never wear this outfit for anybody else, or allow anyone other than you to touch me in this way. I would never touch another person in this way either."

Dean pulled Cas down for a deep kiss, nipping his angel's lower lip and then soothing it with his tongue while Cas caressed his face. He would've been content to just lie there with his kinky angel in his arms, kissing Cas until he passed out…if his dick hadn't decided to throb painfully, reminding him of his current predicament.

"Let me take care of that," Cas chuckled when Dean pulled away to groan. Dean frowned when he didn't reach for the lube but then his eyes widened when instead, Cas twisted his arms to press down on one of the glands at the base of his wings. Sweet-smelling oil gushed out, all over Cas' hands and the lacy negligee he wore.

"Oh, sweet Jesus," Dean forced out when Cas moved his white panties aside to press a finger into himself and groaned, tipping his head back. All Dean could do was lie there and watch the show that Cas was putting on – and yeah, he was sure that it was a show because some of that _had_ to just be for his benefit!

"I can't wait until – until it's you inside me," Cas said breathlessly as he inserted another finger. He arched his back and gasped, so Dean knew that he had to have found his prostate, and he admired his angel's self-control in forcing himself not to touch it again. "I – this is pleasant but – but it's not the same as your penis."

Dean whined loudly.

"Stop saying that stuff! I can't –"

Cas laughed and slid a third finger in. He worked himself open for a few moments more and then removed his oily fingers.

"Neither can I. If I don't get your penis inside me within the next minute…"

Dean reached up to gather some oil and slicken up his dick but Cas slapped his hand away. Dean groaned and melted into the bed when Cas oiled up a hand and then wrapped it around Dean's dick, stroking slowly in order to lube it up. Once he released Dean's cock, Dean reached out to pull the panties down enough to free Cas' dick and then Cas sank down on Dean's dick in one smooth motion.

" _Fuck_!" Dean cried. Cas sighed loudly, bracing himself against Dean's chest.

"Sit – sit up," the angel bit out. "So I can – my wings –"

It took a bit of shifting – and lots of groaning from Cas, who was still impaled on Dean's cock – but finally, Dean was sitting up and Cas was able to wrap his wings around Dean, cocooning him in dark warmth. Only then did Cas began to grind down into Dean's lap, digging his fingernails into Dean's shoulders and letting out moans and whimpers.

"Dean – you feel so good –" he gasped as Dean thrust up and he ground down. "Please – can't be gentle – wanted to but can't – tried to just make love – please – fuck me –"

Before he knew what he was doing, Dean flipped them over without even pulling out. He paused, eliciting a desperate whimper from Cas.

"You sure?" he forced out. "Don't wanna hurt you again –"

Cas practically sobbed and bucked his hips up, his legs spread wide.

"You won't!" he said. "Please – I need you to fuck me, Dean – I need you to be rough – I want to be sore like that again –"

Dean let out a long, broken moan. When Cas' wings closed around him again and dark feathers traced burning trails down his back, his resolve shattered. He yanked Cas' legs around his waist, pressed his lips to Cas' and then began to thrust forcefully, pounding into Cas almost as hard as he had the previous night.

" _Yes_!" Cas shouted when Dean pulled away for air, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. "Yes – Dean – please – I love you I – I love you so much – harder –"

But then Dean slowed down. Taking a deep breath, he flipped them over again and Cas whined loudly.

" _Dean_!"

"Know what you're doing," Dean gasped as he sat up. "Trying to prove – but I – not after last night – can't hurt you – my angel –"

He rested his forehead against Cas', kissed him and then thrust up. Cas almost screamed into the kiss and his wings tightened around Dean reflexively, making Dean groan and begin to thrust again, though in a gentle, loving contrast to his previous wild and rough pounding. It only took a few more thrusts before Cas finally came, spilling all over his negligee and Dean's chest and biting Dean's shoulder to muffle his cries of ecstasy. Dean tightened his arms around Cas, thrust a few more times and came violently, his muscles jerking and his vision exploding in fucking constellations. The two of them collapsed, Dean holding Cas close with shaky arms.

"You shouldn't've done that," he murmured as Cas rested one big wing over him like a feathery blanket. Cas chuckled tiredly.

"Perhaps. But I was trying to show you that I do enjoy it when you're rough with me. I enjoy being fucked so hard that I'm sore."

He began to kiss along Dean's jaw.

"But I also enjoy it when you make gentle love to me. I never understood before you why humans would go crazy over one simple act. But now I understand, even if they do make the funniest faces as they orgasm."

"You been pervin' on people?" Dean slurred, running his fingers up and down Cas' lace-covered back and over his feathers. Cas purred. "You kinky son of a bitch. Never pegged you for a voyeur."

Cas rolled his eyes.

"I was curious. And it was thousands of years ago. I would never dream of watching humans copulate now that I understand the significance of the act. Even if so many treat it as merely a form of entertainment…"

"Guilty."

"Yes. But you also pour your love into it, Dean. And even when you had one-night stands, you always ensured that your partner had the best possible time."

He began to trace patterns on Dean's chest, not caring about the drying come – he simply zapped it away.

"I love you. And I know that one day, you will be able to say that back. I'm glad that you enjoyed my gift to you."

"You ever pull a stunt like that and I might actually die," Dean muttered. "Jesus fucking Christ, Cas. Just when I thought you couldn't get more perfect…"

Cas preened under the praise, now kissing Dean's throat.

"Don't ever be afraid again, Dean. I will never think any less of you for not being a 'man', and the only way you could ever hurt me during sex would be with the use of holy fire and my angel blade."

Dean laughed wearily and leaned down to capture Cas' lips.

"Never change, Cas. You dunno how much I need you. You don't give a fuck about what a screwed up jackass I am."

"That's because you're not one," Cas rebutted but thankfully, he didn't launch into another argument. "Now, get some sleep. I know that you didn't sleep when I was gone last night."

Dean made a sleepy sound of agreement before pulling Cas even closer and burying his face in his angel's damp hair. Here, safe in Cas' arms, it only took moments for him to drift off and the last thing he registered before falling asleep was a final, gentle peck on his lips.


	70. The Purplest of Prose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So I know this is Dean's story but I thought I'd try something different and write as Cas, rather than Dean – just for a change in perspective, to see how he experiences his attraction to Dean.
> 
> (And no it's definitely not because I freaked out in an online game when someone asked me to come over for "coffee" because I get terrified when people flirt with me and then I got picked on and mocked and bullied and called a 'freak' with 'low self-esteem' who 'likes it up the butt' and they feel sorry for 'any man who wakes up next to me and gets yelled at for saying "Hi"' and then got my best friend in shit when she tried to stick up for me just because I explained that I was on the ace spectrum and I need some sort of outlet that's ridiculous why would you think that)
> 
> Thanks to KMB, 0ShadowPrincess0, SophiaWhoLock, Umbreon, Hirotashi and KickAssCas for your comments :)

**70\. Breakfast in bed**

As Dean slumbered after his… _eventful_ night and morning, Castiel held him close and idly stroked his beautiful human's hair, gazing at the opposite wall in absent thought.

Dean. Castiel's world seemed to revolve around this one man; and not in the same way as his devotion to Heaven had been, but rather in the way of Dean being the catalyst for Castiel's life changing as drastically as it had. From being an emotionless hammer – a devoted servant to Heaven – Castiel was now free to make his own decisions and live with those consequences and even though every choice was his to make, most of them seemed to involve Dean in some way or other. After all, he was certain that he would not have made his choice to search for his Father and rebel because he felt that Heaven was wrong if Dean hadn't shown him the value of free will.

It hadn't taken long to realise that he held a special sort of affection for this man; a far different sort to the bond he shared with his siblings. It had taken him longer to realise that this affection was, in fact, love – in fact, he hadn't been able to put a name to it until his fall from Heaven, when he had started experiencing what it meant to be human. What had remained unchanged throughout everything he'd been through was his unquenchable desire to protect this human; to make him smile and laugh (as he'd inadvertently done outside the den of iniquity); to gather him in his arms and hold him when Dean was experiencing difficult times; to simply exist with Dean, even as friends rather than lovers. It was why he hadn't made a move to confess the true depth of his feelings until Dean had clumsily managed to string together what was far from the most eloquent love confession that Castiel had heard a human make, but was definitely his favourite simply because it was _Dean_ saying it to _him_.

He was snapped out of his trance when Dean shifted in his arms and made a soft sound in his sleep. Castiel smiled down at Dean fondly and, unable to help himself, bent down and brushed his lips against Dean's forehead in a very light kiss. Dean gave a sort of sigh and unconsciously nuzzled into the crook of Castiel's neck, sending a burst of warm sensation coursing through Castiel's body; a sensation that he often felt when with Dean.

It was rather curious, love. Castiel wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with Dean, even when Dean died and departed for Heaven (and if he was taken to Hell, well, Castiel would simply have to battle his way through the filthy place to save his human again). His life as an angel had been one filled with a solid purpose: serve Heaven. Dean gave him multiple, confusing purposes that constantly changed and often felt contradictory, though they all combined into one core goal: be there for Dean, no matter what. Though his life with Dean was filled with far more turmoil and uncertainty and unpredictability – and even moments when he mourned the loss of a simple purpose in life, which usually occurred after fights – Castiel found it so much more preferable to simply being another servant of Heaven.

And yet, Castiel felt this love differently to Dean. Dean was such a physical person, always eager to shower Castiel with praise about how 'beautiful' he was and compliments about the attractiveness of his body; even to make love, which Castiel knew was the best way that Dean could express the love he felt. But while Castiel could stare at Dean for all of eternity – memorise every freckle on his body, and then do so again – he simply felt no 'draw' to have sex with him. Most other angels could experience sexual attraction when in vessels but…Castiel simply felt nothing of the sort. Simply staring at Dean wasn't enough to arouse him.

That wasn't to say that Dean wasn't attractive. He was the most beautiful human that Castiel had ever seen, and Castiel did enjoy looking at his physical features – his bright green eyes, his many freckles, his sandy hair, his muscular body with just a hint of fat around his stomach from all of the unhealthy food that he consumed…Dean was the most beautiful work of art to have ever been commissioned and he was Castiel's, all Castiel's to observe. No other human had the same privilege – a fact that Castiel cherished greatly. But while other people might look at Dean and dream of taking him to bed and become aroused because of his beauty – and Dean felt the same way about Castiel himself – Castiel just couldn't experience these same feelings towards Dean, no matter how hard he tried.

But he did enjoy sexual intercourse. And he was so very grateful that, even though he went through periods of revulsion towards the very idea (where even the thought of Dean touching him intimately was enough to make him shudder and feel uncomfortable), he did experience times of desire and enjoyment. It was the least he could do for Dean; especially when it came to situations such as last night. Castiel loved Dean with every fibre of his being, and do anything for his human, and wanted nothing more than to simply live with him, but being able to dress in provocative clothing for Dean's benefit and allow Dean to express himself how he knew best filled him with a sense of pride and accomplishment. In fact, no matter what Dean said, if he never experienced any times of sexual desire, Castiel simply wouldn't have told his human about his lack of sexual attraction all those months ago. Far better to sacrifice his comfort several times than to deprive Dean of something so fundamentally essential to him and how he communicated.

"Mornin', angel," a voice mumbled sleepily. Castiel smiled down at Dean, whose green eyes were blinking as he struggled to fully wake up, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Dean's lips.

"Good morning, Dean. You only slept for two hours. Is that enough?"

Dean shrugged and struggled to sit up. Castiel helped him, also sitting up as he did so, and then tugged him even closer so that he could stroke Dean's back.

"Gone without sleep for days on end before, so yeah. Though I definitely needed it after your little 'present'."

He grinned at Castiel, who smiled back as warm pride surged through him. Though too much pride was a bad thing – Lucifer was a perfect example – Castiel revelled in the pride of making Dean happy, because anything that made Dean happy couldn't possibly be a bad thing.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Dean. It brought me great pleasure to be able to make you happy."

Dean rolled his eyes but kept smiling.

"Freaking angel, always worrying about me. What about you? Did you like it?"

It was Castiel's turn to roll his eyes; a surprisingly addictive habit that he'd acquired from Dean.

"If I hadn't liked it then would I still be wearing this lingerie? And would I put it away for later use?"

He smiled fondly at the hunger in Dean's eyes. It was nice to be desired, even if he didn't reciprocate that specific kind of attraction.

"You gotta save it for special occasions, babe. Otherwise, I'll die before I even reach my forties."

Castiel raised an eyebrow at the nickname that he had only heard used for females.

"Babe?"

Dean grinned mischievously.

"Or sweetheart, if you'd prefer. I'm kinda past the point of caring what the fuck is manly and what makes me a total chick now. I'm not gonna let other dickbags define us again. Not after – after those guys."

Castiel gave Dean a quick kiss and then began to leave a trail of tiny kisses along his jaw.

"I rather like the sound of sweetheart. But angel will always be my favourite because it holds significance."

Reluctantly, he stopped showering Dean with love and wriggled out of Dean's embrace. Dean whined in disappointment.

"Stay there, Dean. I'm going to get you some breakfast."

He used his grace to take off his lingerie, then folded it almost reverently so that it suffered no damage. With another tiny burst of grace, he dressed himself in his usual clothes.

"Don't take too long, Cas. 'S cold in here without you."

He wriggled under the blankets, pouting. Cas felt his lips pull into a smile of their own accord as he fell even more in love with Dean – if such a thing was possible, which Castiel believed it was entirely.

"Very well, Dean."

True to his word, he only took ten minutes to purchase and wait for the food and the long kiss that Dean gave him was thanks enough. As he watched Dean devour his food with no grace or manners whatsoever, Castiel wondered just what he'd done to deserve such a beautiful, wonderful, _perfect_ human who _loved_ him back.


	71. Night Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> This is literally all I can muster up after seeing today's episode. I just – it's my new favourite. That's all I can say.
> 
> (And God is bi but let's not get into that)
> 
> Thanks to Fandomedic and Hirotashi for your comments :)

**71\. Cuddle under a full moon**

Dean bolted up in bed with a gasp, his skin clammy and sweaty and his breaths coming out in short, quick gasps as he struggled to escape the horrors of Hell yet again. Immediately, he found himself pulled into tight arms, so he instinctively lashed out and punched the demon right in its ugly face. The demon didn't let go.

"LEMME GO!" he bellowed, struggling to free himself. "I'M NOT FUCKING STAYING HERE!"

"Dean!" He was pulled closer to his warm captor. "Dean, calm down! You had a nightmare!"

The low, gravelly voice penetrated the terrified haze that filled his mind. Dean immediately froze and blinked, the dim, fiery flashes of Hell dispelling and being replaced with the dark motel room. His stomach dropped in horror.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Fuck. I hurt you, Cas."

"Don't even think of blaming yourself, Dean." The bedside lamp was turned on, illuminating Cas' bloody mouth and nose. Nausea rose in Dean at the very sight. "You were having a nightmare."

"But I –"

"You thought you were in Hell, so you tried to escape. It's understandable. And I can easily heal myself."

Cas blinked and the blood disappeared off his face. He smiled at Dean, who couldn't find it in himself to smile back.

"Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"

Dean mutely shook his head and looked away from Cas in shame, unable to meet his eyes. Cas gently took his chin and led his head back around.

"The fact that your immediate response was to do everything in your power to escape is impressive, Dean. You actively fought instead of allowing them to take you again. Your strength and willpower are two of the many reasons why I love you."

Finally, Dean allowed himself to melt into Cas' embrace. His angel stroked his arm comfortingly.

"Some fresh air might be beneficial. Let's go for a walk outside."

Dean blankly followed Cas to the door and out into the crisp night air, where they were bathed in the light of the full moon. Cas led Dean to a small strip of grass that separated the main road from the motel's parking lot and sat down, tugging Dean down with him and arranging the numb man so that he was wrapped tightly in the angel's arms, between his legs.

"Is this helping?" Cas said. Dean shook his head and sagged back in Cas' arms.

"No," he mumbled. "But you are, angel."

He closed his eyes when he felt Cas press a soft kiss to his head.

"I hate it, Cas. I haven't had one of those dreams in ages and when I do, they're fucking worse than usual. I dunno what's going on."

"You were in Hell for forty years. No matter how perfect I rebuilt your body, I could do nothing for the wounds on your soul and to your psyche. You have no idea how much I wish that I could simply take away your pain."

"I know, sweetheart," Dean whispered, raising his hands to hug Cas' arms. "I know."


	72. Calm Down, It's Just Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I GOT TO FIRST PLACE IN Slither.io! :D :D And I was using the skin based on jacksepticeye and the name 'FOR JACKABOY', so I tweeted it to him! Hope he sees it!
> 
> (It's really all I ever use my Twitter for since I'm such an uninteresting person tbh)
> 
> Also, if you couldn't tell from this, Ginny is my favourite HP character. She's freaking awesome. It might also be because she's an underdog due to loads of people hating her (hence why I seem to like her more than Hermione and why I also love Ron. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Hermione, but I tend to root for the underdogs and Ron and Ginny cop a lot of hate).
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Sablesilverrain, Hirotashi, WolfMeister, KMB, Shade and KickAssCas for your comments :)

**72\. Write poetry for each other**

That was it. That was the final straw. Dean _had_ to do something.

Cas was naturally awesome but over the last few days? He'd been so freaking amazing, showering Dean with love and attention and kisses (to 'make up for his lack of sexual desire', as he'd put it. Dean had just told him to stop being so stupid whenever he didn't want sex), and Dean just had to do something to repay him for being the best angel ever. But what?

"I see why this series is so popular," Cas commented idly, turning a page near the end of 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'. "This author has done a marvellous job of building her world, even two books in. And her characters are believable. I especially like Hermione Granger."

"Course you'd like the smart chick, you nerdy angel," Dean smirked. Cas rolled his eyes with a fond smile and leaned further back into Dean's chest, his eyes glued to his book. Dean tightened one arm around him, careful not to wriggle and grind up into Cas' butt, and tangled his other hand in Cas' messy dark hair to stroke lightly. God, if he'd known that he'd ever turn out this much of a chick when he'd first clumsily confessed his feelings to Cas…

But then he decided that he didn't care. In fact, he'd mentally thanked those homophobic (and quite possibly closeted) assholes just the other night; he might have hurt Cas because of his insecurities but they'd grown stronger and moved past it and those bitches had given him the kick up the ass he needed to finally begin to stop worrying what the fuck other people thought. So what if they wanted to think that he took it up the ass? It didn't make him any less of a man!

"Wouldn't sex with me make you more of a man?" Cas had reasoned a few days ago after some particularly hot sex (though _nothing_ could ever compare to when he'd pulled out the lingerie). "There are two men involved, and therefore two penises. There's no possible way for you to be less of a man with no women involved. In fact, the lack of women and addition of an extra man makes you _more_ masculine."

Dean had just stared at him, wondering why the fuck he'd never thought of it that way before.

"I just don't understand how nobody has found the location of the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets," Cas said suddenly, startling Dean out of his trance. "Harry and Ron did so, and they were two twelve year olds. All somebody had to do was simply ask Myrtle about her death and conclude from her information that the entrance was in the bathroom."

Dean snorted and nuzzled into his angel's hair, wishing he could get high off the scent of ozone and thunderstorms and apples (a recent addition from Cas' preferred shampoo) and whatever earthy smell was in there. Hell, if he ever smelled a love potion, this'd probably be one of the stronger smells in there.

"They're wizards, Cas. They're not big thinkers. Hell, even Hermione said in the first book that wizards don't use logic."

Yeah, he'd read them. So what? Just because he was a dumb grunt didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy reading.

"I suppose one could draw parallels between these wizards to angels," Cas said thoughtfully. "Like wizards, my siblings also don't see the need to think of better solutions to problems when they have a way that works for them."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That what you're saying?"

"Yes. That seems an apt description. Although I'm different in that regard. I don't think like my brothers and sisters."

"Weird outsider? Man, you'll love Luna in the fifth book. She's a freaking weirdo but she's adorable and badass. Hell, she's one of my favourite characters. Maybe it's 'cause she reminds me of you."

Cas purred softly when Dean started to plant small kisses in his hair. But then, to Dean's disappointment, Cas wriggled out of his embrace.

"I'm going to get you some dinner. I know that I'm supposed to keep my 'flapping around' to a minimum but I want to spend as much time with you in here tonight as possible."

Dean's eyes landed on the book next to Cas, which his angel had carefully bookmarked, and an idea began to sprout in his mind.

"Go for it. Just don't make it a regular thing, 'kay?"

He winked at Cas, who smiled back and leaned in for a quick kiss. As soon as Cas had disappeared, Dean grabbed the book and began to flip through it, careful not to dislodge the bookmark.

He knew what he was going to do for Cas. He was going to write him a poem, and he was going to use a modified version of the one that Ginny had written for Harry! That'd make his angel smile! (That and Dean was _not_ creative). He just had to find it…

Once he'd located the Valentine from Ginny, he pulled a piece of motel stationery and a pen to him, scanned over the poem again and then began to write. The room was silent, filled only with the sounds of breathing and scratching as Dean tried to get the perfect ripped-off poem for Cas before his angel got back with the food. After ten minutes, he clicked the pen and thrust the paper into the air triumphantly. Finally, at long last, he'd gotten it right!

And not a moment too soon, as Cas zapped back in a few seconds later with a paper bag in his hands. His eyes immediately flew to the paper in Dean's hand.

"What did you get up to when I was gone?" he said suspiciously. Dean proudly held out the paper for Cas to take.

"I totally jacked it and changed a few things around," he said. "But I can't write for shit, so…"

Cas put the food down, smoothed out the paper and read softly:

" _His eyes are as blue as the sky up above,_  
_His hair is as dark as coal_  
 _I'm so glad he's mine, he's really divine,_  
 _The angel who makes me feel whole_."

Cas fell silent after reading the poem out aloud, though his lips moved as he clearly reread it. Dean shifted nervously, his proud grin gone, hoping to God that Cas liked it and didn't think that he was as much of a loser as poor little Ginny had been in that book (though she _had_ grown into a fucking badass, so maybe being compared to her wasn't _so_ bad. Hell, if he didn't have Cas and she was real, Ginny would totally be his type).

"Dean…" Cas said slowly. "This is –"

"Yeah, I know," Dean interrupted with a grimace. "It fucking sucks. I just did it randomly and I can't write for shit –"

"I was going to say very beautiful," Cas cut in. Dean fell silent, staring at Cas in surprise, and Cas looked up and beamed at him. "I know that this is heavily based on Ginny's Valentine to Harry but it's so amazing and far better, in my opinion. And I love it simply because you took the time to surprise me and write it. I always love it when you make an effort for me. It makes me feel special and wanted and loved."

He crawled onto the bed and wriggled his way into Dean's arms. Dean hoisted his angel into his lap, wrapping his arms around Cas as he snuggled sideways against Dean's chest.

"Do I really make you feel whole?" Cas said quietly, his eyes still fixed on the poem. Dean nodded and kissed his head.

"You do, sweetheart. You really do. I mean, I know I got Sam but my whole purpose in life's been to look out for Sam and do what's best for him and I did – hell, I even sold my fucking soul for him. I'd do the same for you but…God, angel, you make me feel like my life isn't just 'protect Sam'. And I know that sounds selfish as all fuck –"

"It doesn't, Dean. You've dedicated your whole life to taking care of Sam and I know that he'd agree when I say that it's good that you feel as though there's more to life than just your brother. You still love him dearly and would sacrifice anything for him but now you have more to live for than just Sam."

"Yeah," Dean said reluctantly. "And he's a big boy now – jumping into Hell and everything. I s'pose I can stop holding his hand. But I'm still not gonna let anything fucking happen to him again. He deserves as much happiness as he can get while living this crappy life."

"So do you," Cas argued.

"Okay," Dean said uncomfortably. "Whatever. Change of subject. You gonna finish your book?"

Cas waved a dismissive hand.

"There are five more books in the series, so I know that Harry won't die in his confrontation with the basilisk and the Heir of Slytherin – who I strongly suspect is Voldemort, since I see no point in introducing another antagonist. What I'd like to do now is wait for you to finish your dinner, then properly thank you for this beautiful, plagiarised poem by making out with you until you are breathless and I feel smug in my ability to affect you in a way that nobody else can."

Dean couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing, burying his face in Cas' hair to try and calm himself down.

"You're so fucking awesome, angel," he choked. "Don't ever change."


	73. Sugar Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I can't decide whether to redo this list with Sabriel when I'm done in June, or keep going with my second list of prompts with Destiel (which I found on Tumblr and man, is it beautiful) and THEN do 200 days of Sabriel. I'm kinda leaning more towards Destiel but if you guys want me to give it a break and take a crack at Sabriel then I will.
> 
> (Also, I'm thinking of doing this prompt list with Sess but in an AU verse where Jess doesn't die. It probably wouldn't be updated daily but it might be fun to do, if I've got enough interest. Because I REALLY ship Sess).
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Shannon_Kind, Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, WolfMeister and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**73\. Love notes when partner isn't looking**

They started off innocently enough. Just little scraps of paper, with words like 'I love you' and 'You have beautiful eyes' that succeeded in making Dean grumble to himself good-naturedly as his cheeks heated up.

But then Cas started to get more daring. The notes started to grow longer, written on coloured post-it notes instead of random scraps of paper and full of sentences such as 'I love being able to hold you in my arms as you wake up', 'You make me so happy, even if I often don't understand why' and 'They say that freckles are angel kisses. I hope to cover every inch of your body in freckles' (that one had made Dean's stomach flip).

Dean finally confronted Cas after being left a note that said 'If I had to fight off a Dementor, my happiest memory would be one of you. I'm so privileged to be able to spend the rest of my existence with you, Dean, and even if we never decide to become mates, just having you as my lover is more than enough. I love you, my beautiful human'.

"I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable," Cas said when Dean presented him with the green note. "I just very much appreciated your poem to me and I wanted to reciprocate the gesture."

"Yeah and made me look like a douche in the process," Dean mumbled. "I give you one jacked poem and you do this. I'll never be as good as you!"

Cas cupped his face.

"Stop that right now," he said sternly. "I don't care that you cannot express yourself through words. I love that poem – 'ripped off' as it is – and I wouldn't change a single thing about it or you. You're beautiful just as you are."

"Don't call me beautiful," Dean muttered, though his insides fluttered. Cas just smiled at him.

Cas' note just wouldn't freaking leave Dean's mind, no matter how hard he tried to dispel the words floating around in his mind, taunting him. He was being a bit of a dick to Cas, wasn't he? Cas had given up everything for him and yet, he couldn't get 'angel hitched' and mate with the guy.

He _did_ want to. Becoming Cas' mate was a very appealing idea and there was nothing quite like the thought of being Cas' for the rest of his life and beyond (even if he sounded like a fucking sap just thinking that). But there was still a part of Dean that balked at the thought of tying his soul to Cas for the rest of eternity, with no escape if he ever changed his mind (as unlikely as that was at the moment). After all, he was a _human_. Humans changed their minds a lot and while he never even entertained the idea of falling out of love with Cas, he couldn't bind himself to his angel and then put Cas through hell if that minuscule chance ever did happen. It wouldn't be so bad for him, being chained to a being that would love him forever, but he just couldn't do that to Cas.

But he still wanted to attach himself to Cas; to do something to tie them together, in a way that told everybody 'back the fuck off, this angel's _mine_ '. And one day, the idea suddenly occurred to him.

"You want anything to eat?" he said as he pulled over at the gas station. Cas shook his head.

"No thank you, Dean. I'm fine."

It only took a minute or so to pick out his unhealthy snacks, along with the object of his search, and he quickly paid for them with one of his fake credit cards. The bored teenage boy at the counter barely gave him a once over and didn't even speak until he wished Dean one of the most bored-sounding good days that the man had ever heard and Dean quickly shoved the small packet into his pocket and gathered up his snacks.

"You should eat healthier food items," Cas said disapprovingly when Dean dumped his food on his angel's lap. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Don't turn into Sam, man. Seriously."

He shifted and the packet in his pocket crinkled. He gulped.

"Dean, are you okay? Your heart rate is increasing and you're starting to sweat."

Dean closed his eyes, counted to ten and then turned to Cas.

"I got something to say. So…don't interrupt?"

Cas immediately fixed Dean with his unwavering stare. Dean started to sweat more profusely.

"So…your note said that you'd be happy with never being mates with me. And, well…that got me thinking. It's kinda selfish of me, makin' you miss out on getting a mate when the other angels get to shack up and play house, but I dunno if – if I could be tied to you forever. What if shit happens? Then you'll be stuck with my ass and it wouldn't be so bad for me, having an angel who – who loves me, but…I wouldn't wanna do that to you. I wouldn't wanna saddle you with me if anything goes wrong."

Cas opened his mouth but thankfully closed it a moment later to let Dean continue.

"We're probably not even gonna get married, since it's illegal in more states than it's legal and I don't do weddings and I'm legally dead. But…"

Dean pulled out the packet and ripped it open to reveal a plastic ring with a candy gem set on it.

"I figured we may as well be married and…y'know, you're Castiel Winchester to me even if you don't really have a last name. So I figured you'd be okay with this shitty ring until I can get you a good one and…well, we can be unofficially married. Y'know, if that's enough for you. If not, I'm sure I'll get my head around the angel mate thing and one day I'll accept and –"

Cas cut him off by grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket and yanking him in for a deep, searing kiss that sucked every little bit of oxygen out of his lungs and left him breathless and dizzy and burning for more when his angel finally pulled away.

"It's more than I ever expected, Dean!" Cas beamed. "I never expected you to agree to being my mate but this – even this 'unofficial marriage' – Dean, I love you so much –"

Before he could chicken out, Dean slid the candy ring onto Cas' finger.

"Feel free to snack on it," he said with a small laugh. "I mean, that's all it's good for. I'll replace it when I can."

Cas gave him a very thorough nonverbal answer that made Dean feel as though he was flying on a cloud.

"So I take it that's a yes, sweetheart?" he said giddily. Cas gave the most beautiful laugh in response and Dean decided at that moment that he wanted to do anything it took just to hear that laugh from his angel again.


	74. Life Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> *random inarticulate garbled sounds as I try and concentrate long enough to get out tonight's prompt after a night shift while also feeling slightly queasy*
> 
> Thanks to Sablesilverrain, Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, KickAssCas, PawneePorpoise, WolfMeister and KMB for your comments :)

**74\. Tell partner about dreams**

"Would you ever settle for a normal life?" Cas asked suddenly. Dean fumbled with the machete that he was trying to strip of vampire blood.

"What the hell? Where's that coming from?" he said. Cas shrugged.

"I'm just curious. If you could have a normal life, would you take it? Would you share an 'apple pie' life with me?"

Dean eyed Cas suspiciously.

"You want a white picket fence and two point five kids?"

Cas shrugged again.

"Only if you do. I'm simply curious. Do you continue to hunt because you want to? Or because you feel as though you need to?"

Dean stared down at his machete, his eyes unfocused.

"I dunno," he mumbled. "I mean, it sounds nice but…I dunno if it's for me. Been hunting too long to just give it up and forget about it."

Cas shifted closer to Dean and took his hand.

"And what if we had never become a couple?" he said, stroking the back of Dean's hand with his thumb. "What if you had stayed with Lisa? Would you have been happy with that life?"

Dean briefly allowed his mind to entertain the thought of him and Lisa, settling down and raising Ben together and maybe even a few kids of their own. But the thought felt…wrong. It felt _wrong_ to think of himself with anybody other than Cas.

"Maybe. Or maybe I'd've gotten bored after a while. I – I need to hunt, man. 'S what I do. I got nothin' else goin' for me – all I got is a GED and a habit of not freaking staying dead. Saving people, hunting things…makes me feel like I'm doin' some good in the world, even if no one else appreciates it."

Cas leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I appreciate it. Sam appreciates it. Everybody that you've helped appreciates it. You're a good man, Dean. I wish you could see how amazing and selfless you are."

Dean ducked his head self-consciously.

"Why're you even asking this crap? You sick of hunting?"

Cas shook his head.

"I enjoy hunting so long as it's with you. And I'd enjoy a normal life, but only with you. I simply wanted to make sure that you're happy in what you choose to do with your life."

Dean set aside his blade and cleaning rag, then turned to Cas and pushed the surprised angel back onto the bed.

"Lemme tell you something, sweetheart," he said, straddling Cas' hips and bending down to plant kisses all over his angel's face. "I don't care what happens, so long as you're there with me. If you want an apple pie life, we can have one. If you wanna keep hunting, I'll get you your own freaking Winchester family gun. Got that?"

Cas stared up at him for a moment in an almost perplexed manner. Then his face broke into a wide smile and he reached up to wrap his arms around Dean and pull the man down on top of him.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the sensations of Cas stroking his hair.

"Same here, Cas."


	75. Thank Chuck for the Internet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I have like zero language skill so y'all are welcome to lynch me if I fuck up.
> 
> Thanks to 0ShadowPrincess0, Hirotashi, KMB, SophiaWhoLock and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**75\. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages**

"Je t'aime, Dean," Cas murmured into Dean's neck as he left small, open-mouthed kisses. "Mon amour. Mon humain."

"What – what the hell, Cas?" Dean said, despite the fog of desire clouding his mind. He felt Cas smile against his skin.

"I hear that French is called the language of love," his angel said, now moving to nibble down Dean's chest. Dean's eyes fluttered closed as he lost himself in the sensations – there was Cas, only Cas, nothing else, just Cas and his mouth and his voice…

"Cas…" he whispered. Cas removed his mouth, eliciting a whine from Dean. But his hands quickly replaced it, caressing Dean's chest with a type of love that made Dean want to curl up in a big ball of undeserving issues but also want to bask in it and be selfish after all the crap he'd been through.

"Perhaps you would prefer something else, Dean. Spanish feels more passionate to me. Maybe you would like passion over romantic?"

Before Dean could say anything, he felt lips brush against his left ear.

"Te amo, mi hombre hermoso. Eres mi cielo. Eres mi sol."

Dean let out an undignified whimper and grabbed Cas' face to pull him in for a rough kiss that was all slick, swollen lips and breathless gasps.

"I dunno what you're sayin' but you're fucking perfect," Dean panted, wrapping his arms around Cas and squeezing him close.

Cas purred softly and shifted until he was more comfortable in Dean's arms. He took Dean's right hand and Dean shivered when the angel began to play with the plain silver ring that was a recent purchase. Yeah, he'd fucking stuck to his word and bought real rings as soon as he could. And whenever he saw Cas' equally plain gold ring, butterflies would erupt in his stomach and lightning would zing through him. Cas was finally officially his. Cas was _his_. He was _Cas'_. Cas was _his_. Cas was _HIS_.

CAS WAS HIS.

Laughter suddenly burst out of his mouth. When Cas stiffened in alarm, Dean just kept laughing and peppered his angel's head with frantic kisses.

"You're mine, Cas! _Mine_! Only just sunk in." Grinning widely, he inhaled Cas' scent and closed his eyes. " _Mine_. Nobody else is ever gonna have you."

Cas chuckled as Dean worked the giddy laughter out of his system. Thankfully, he didn't push when Dean was finally done with his weird emotional moment and instead, continued to murmur sweet Spanish terms of endearment to him.

"So – how'd I call you my angel?" Dean finally managed to say. "Or sweetheart?"

"Mi cielo. My heaven. Mi sol. My sunshine." Cas pressed a kiss to Dean's jaw. "Corazón. Heart. Ángel. I'm sure you can translate that."

Dean made a funny sound because holy fuck, Cas speaking another language was _so_ fucking hot! Not as hot as Enochian, but still definitely up there!

"Te necesito, Dean. I need you."

A strangled sound escaped Dean's throat.

"Mi – mi ángel. Mi corazón. Te – te necesito, Cas," he forced out. He was sure that he'd mangled the Spanish horribly but judging by the way Cas' eyes were dark when he raised his head, it still looked like it was getting to him as much as it was getting to Dean.

"You are extremely attractive when you speak another language," Cas said quietly, his fingers tightening in Dean's shirt. "If I was in the mood, you would be laid bare before me with my penis inside you at this very moment."

Dean shuddered violently and tightened his grip on Cas to ground himself.

"But as it is, I think I'm going to kiss you again. If you'll let go of me, that is."

Dean was torn. On the one hand, he could keep holding Cas like the fucking sap he'd turned into and drift off to sleep like that. But on the other hand…kissing! These two words battled back and forth in his mind, until he finally groaned loudly.

"Ah, fuck it. Kissing, then sleeping."

Cas gave him a soft but smug smile.

"Excellent choice, Dean."


	76. He's Getting There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Okay, I'm gonna do another 100 days of Destiel after this and THEN 200 days of Sabriel. I'M SORRY I JUST LOVE DESTIEL TOO MUCH I DON'T SHIP ANYTHING ELSE NEARLY AS MUCH AS THIS
> 
> Also, I ended up with an inbox of 25 messages. Several of them said things like this fic needed to be a book. As a result, I ended up screaming and probably deafening everyone within a two mile radius, then becoming so happy that I was literally high and giggly and terrified of how happy I was because I'd actually forgotten what it felt like to be happy and had to Google it. Let me be clear: I haven't had a high like that since I took cold and flu tablets and found out the hard way that I'm a lightweight.
> 
> You guys broke me. You got me fucking high without any drugs at all. And I love y'all for it XD
> 
> Thanks to MellQueenOfHell, WolfMeister, 0ShadowPrincess0, PawneePorpoise, Imma_Reddy_Panda, KMB, SophiaWhoLock, Umbreon, KickAssCas and Shade for your comments :)

**76\. Whoever is correct during discussion, kiss partner and focus on love rather than who's right**

"I'm just sayin'!" Dean said. "If we go around this way, they definitely won't see us!"

"But that's a longer route," Cas said. "The demons may see us if we go this way but it will take us almost directly to where the majority of them are positioned in this building. If we go your way, there is an increased chance of being seen once we're inside and the demons getting enough warning to make a run for it."

Dean scowled. He wasn't gonna be wrong, dammit!

"But if we just barge in there, they'll start tryin' to get away anyway! Why not make sure they don't see us?"

Cas sighed.

"You know that I'm right, Dean. They're going to try and escape anyway, or kill us when that fails. The best thing we can do is to get in there quickly and take them out."

Still scowling, Dean looked away, unwilling to admit that Cas was right. But then, what was really new? Why was it such a surprise to think of himself as a total fuck-up?

Fuck. Cas and his freaking ripple effect and bright blue eyes and messy hair and just totally beautiful presence. Was Dean really beginning to actually believe that he _deserved_ to feel like anything but a waste of space?

"Dean. Dean, look at me."

When Dean finally managed to meet Cas' eyes, he nearly melted at the love and fondness he saw in the deep blue.

"You know that making you feel inadequate is not my intention at all. I just want to ensure that you suffer as little damage as possible and that you don't die. Even if I can bring you back, seeing you die is something that will haunt me as much as seeing Sam die haunted you."

Dean bit his lip and looked away. Fuck. He'd forgotten that, as many times as he'd died, Cas had never actually seen him die in person. Guilt flooded his stomach as he remembered how he'd felt when Sam had died in Cold Oak and then jumped into Hell: like his whole life had been destroyed and he had nothing else to live for, and that was the biggest understatement of the century.

"'M sorry. Didn't think of that."

He closed his eyes and melted when soft lips met his.

"Think nothing of it, Dean." Cas gave him another kiss. "Shall we go and annihilate some demons now?"

Dean opened his eyes and slid Ruby's knife out of his pocket with a dark grin.

"Let's go, angel."


	77. Stubborn, Silly Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, Sablesilverrain, Angelkrushnic, SophiaWhoLock, PawneePorpoise and Shade for your comments :)

**77\. Do something partner loves to do, even if not interested personally**

"Damn you, Cas," Dean muttered as he trailed after Cas in the Iowa Arboretum. Walking around a botanical garden and 'oohing' over pretty plants was down near the bottom of 'things he liked to do', if it was even on there at all. But Cas had flashed him those beautiful blue puppy eyes and the next thing Dean knew, they were pulling up outside the garden rather than getting out of Madrid as they'd planned.

"It's amazing here, Dean!" Cas said in a hushed voice when Dean caught up to him. "Heaven's gardens are far more magnificent but this place…it's peaceful and beautiful in its own way."

"Not as much as you," slipped out of Dean's mouth. He immediately cringed violently and went to turn away, wishing he could slap himself for saying such a fucking cheesy line like that, but Cas grabbed his hand and made him freeze.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas said softly. When Dean's gaze slid back to him and saw that his eyes were shining brightly, he couldn't help but crack a weak smile and look away again.

"Yeah. Whatever. Enjoy it, 'cause I ain't sayin' something like that again."

"But you say this sort of thing often."

Dean snorted.

"Yeah. When we're having a moment or when we're fucking."

"Dean, you know I hate to refer to such an intimate act so crudely unless I'm trying to arouse you."

Cas' mouth downturned slightly and guilt started to gnaw at Dean's insides.

"Fine. You're beautiful. Happy now?"

"Not unless you mean it. I'd prefer no compliment to a half-hearted one."

"Well, we all know I'm a fucking loser," Dean said under his breath. Cas twisted a hand in his shirt and yanked him forward, his eyes now stormy.

"You are not a loser," he breathed furiously. "How many times must we go over this?"

"You can't expect me to just get over my fucking issues, Cas."

"No but I'd hoped that you were making progress." Cas' face softened and he gave Dean a gentle kiss. "You know I hate it when you put yourself down. Dean, if I could make you see yourself through my eyes for even a moment…you'd see just how beautiful and precious you are."

Dean stiffened for a moment when Cas wrapped him in a tight hug, before relaxing and embracing him back.

"'M sorry, sweetheart. You're gorgeous. You're too good for me."

"No, Dean. It's the other way around. You've remained good and strong no matter what happens to you. I – I only wish that I'd possessed even half of your strength before meeting you."

Dean closed his eyes in disbelief, his insides writhing.

"Let's just agree to disagree."

"Dean –"

"We gotta be off soon, angel. Don't you wanna see the rest of the place?"

He pulled away. Cas shot him a suspicious squint but Dean simply shot him a quick grin, grabbed his hand and tugged him deeper into the garden.


	78. Dean the Man-Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> *screams forever after the new episode*
> 
> Thanks to MellQueenOfHell, 0ShadowPrincess0, Shannon_Kind, Hirotashi, Umbreon, thatfreak13, Shade, SophiaWhoLock, destielwinchesterr and Hannah_ruth_990 for your comments :)

**78\. While driving, pull over to see scenic sights**

"Why are we stopping here?" a bewildered Cas said as Dean killed the engine. Dean grinned widely.

"Kodachrome Basin! Who doesn't wanna visit when they're passing through Utah?"

Cas gave Dean a Look.

"Ah, fine. Sammy told me that there's a dick rock here and I wanna see it. I totally forgot about it till we were passing by."

Cas rolled his eyes with a fond smile.

"Somehow, I don't find myself surprised at all that you would want to visit a place purely because of rocks shaped like genitalia."

Still grinning, Dean laced their fingers and tugged Cas away from the car.

"And I assume that you would like me to take a photograph of you lying in front of it such a way that it looks as though the rock is your penis?"

"Ah, you know me too well, sweetheart." Dean slung an arm around Cas and kissed his cheek. "So, will you?"

"Of course. I'm sure that feeling as though you have a large penis will do wonders for your sense of masculinity."

Dean spluttered, while Cas simply smiled angelically and pressed a swift kiss to his lips.

"You – you asshole – you can't just say that I've got a small dick! You can't insult my manliness like that!"

"Of course, Dean. My apologies. Will you forgive me?"

Dean tried to look away before Cas could shoot him the blue puppy eyes but he failed completely.

"Fine. You know you can get away with anything when you shoot me those eyes, angel."


	79. Very Meta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Well, my best friend had an absolutely rotten day, so this chapter is dedicated to her to hopefully cheer her up a little :) (Though obviously this isn't her real name)
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, WolfMeister and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**79\. Brighten somebody else's day together**

"Dean. Look."

Cas pointed at the nearby park bench. The park was full of happy, laughing people but a girl with long blonde hair was sitting on the park bench, looking as though she was trying not to burst into tears.

"Poor chick. What about her?"

"We should comfort her. She looks in need of somebody to cheer her up."

Shrugging, Dean followed Cas over to the bench and they sat down on either side of the girl.

"You okay?" Dean said. The girl jumped in surprise and then quickly nodded.

"Y-Yeah." She rubbed her eyes. "It's nothing. Just having a shit day."

"Maybe you could tell us what's wrong and we may be able to help," Cas suggested. "My name is Cas and this is my partner, Dean."

The girl laughed.

"You guys are _Supernatural_ fans too? Boy, those are some good cosplays!"

Cas frowned and opened his mouth but Dean shot him a warning look. The only reason Chuck had even believed him and Sam about being real was because they'd known their own last names and nobody else (apart from crazy Becky) would ever believe that they were the real Dean and Castiel.

"Do you guys ship Destiel? You _have_ to. Surely you've seen all the subtext!"

Dean fought to conceal a wide smirk.

"Uh…yeah, we're huge shippers," he said. "C'mere, sweetheart."

He leaned over the girl and planted a kiss on a surprised Cas' lips. The girl burst into peals of laughter and had to slap a hand over her mouth.

"Guys, stop! You're making me fangirl in public! Everyone already thinks I'm weird!"

Cas blinked several times.

"What's your name?" he finally said. The girl took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Sarina. Y'know, Sabrina without the 'b'. My parents wanted to be 'cool', so I got stuck with it. Although I s'pose it could be worse. My sister's called Janessa."

"Janessa?" Dean said incredulously. What the hell was happening to parents? Even if he'd been named after a chick, Dean was still a nice, normal name and so was Deanna!

"Cross between Jane and Vanessa. My mom liked Vanessa but my dad wanted Jane, so they compromised. My other sister got Elissa, which is pretty much the most normal name out of us."

Dean snorted.

"You got some weird-ass parents, man."

"I know," Sarina grinned. "It could've been worse. They could've decided to pull a 'Black family' and name us after stars and constellations. Thank God for small favours."

"I don't think God will help you there," Cas muttered.

"Sorry, what?"

"Nothing!" Dean said quickly. He was about to ask Sarina what she'd been about to cry over when suddenly, the opening verse to what he recognised as 'Carry On Wayward Son' began to blare from her pocket.

"Oh. Sorry. That's my phone," Sarina said sheepishly, fumbling to extract her phone and answer it. "Mom?"

While she chatted to her mother, Cas smiled at Dean over her blonde head.

"You're incredible, Dean," he murmured. "Your kindness is one of the things I love most about you."

Dean shifted in his seat, grinning awkwardly at Cas.

"Your idea, man."

"But you're the one who cheered her up."

"Okay! Bye, Mom!"

Sarina hung up and smiled around at Dean and Cas.

"I've gotta go. But thanks so much for cheering me up. I really needed that!"

"Of course," Cas said. "It was our pleasure."

Sarina stood up and gave the two of them an odd look.

"Huh. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're the real Dean Winchester and Castiel. You guys are _so_ in character. But hey, fiction."

"Yeah," Dean laughed nervously. "Fiction. Right. Here, bring it in."

He gave Sarina a quick hug. Cas embraced her awkwardly when she turned to him.

"Man, if Dean was real and I ever met him, I'd tell him that he's just amazing and awesome and beautiful and all that chick flick stuff that'd make him glare at me. But it'd totally be worth it! You have no idea how many times I wanted to slap some sense into him!"

Dean shifted nervously, his cheeks suddenly heating up. Cas smiled widely at him.

"Indeed. I agree with you that Dean is a very beautiful person. I just wish he could see it."

Sarina grinned at him.

"Cas is awesome too. I wish we'd gotten more of him! I wanted to wrap that little baby angel in a blanket and give him loads of hugs! Though maybe it's a good thing we didn't get too much of him – Carver Edlund put him through enough crap whenever he _did_ appear."

Cas' smile vanished, replaced with a surprised look.

"Okay, I really gotta go. Hopefully I see you around!"

"That was probably one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had," Dean said as Sarina hurried off across the grass. "I'm never gonna get used to being 'fictional'."

Cas just blinked. Dean rolled his eyes and slid closer to pull his angel into a hug.

"She's right, man. You're awesome. Don't look like someone zapped you or something."

"Well, she was right about you," Cas said, leaning into Dean's embrace and closing his eyes. "You are an amazing person, Dean. And I also wish that I could 'slap some sense' into you."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Just lemme hug ya without going all mushy, okay?'

But he couldn't deny that Sarina's words had struck a chord inside him. Did people really think that he was that awesome? Was he really that likeable? Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he just leaned back and began to soak up the sunshine, planting kisses in Cas' dark, messy hair and wondering just what the hell he'd done to deserve this perfect angel apart from being a likeable fictional character.


	80. Cas is Totally Cheating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> *snore*
> 
> Thanks to PawneePorpoise, MellQueenOfHell, Shannon_Kind, Jo_Winchester, WolfMeister, KMB, Hirotashi and SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**80\. Skip rocks**

"Dude, stop cheating!" Dean complained. Cas smiled innocently and expertly slung his next stone, racking up eight skips before it sank.

"I am not cheating, Dean."

"Like hell! You're using your damn grace!"

"I am not. I'm simply using my knowledge of physics to calculate the best angles to skip these rocks."

"We can't all be super smart angels," Dean muttered sulkily, though with no real heat. Cas smiled at him and, in a heartbeat, was standing behind him and holding his wrist loosely.

"Here. Let me show you."

"You just wanna hug me, sweetheart," Dean teased as Cas manoeuvred him into a slightly different stance. He felt soft lips press a gentle kiss to his neck.

"Of course. I love you and I love to hold you whenever I can. I'm simply taking advantage of this opportunity."

Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling.

"I'll give you taking advantage of opportunities when we get back to the motel, angel."

One of Cas' hands stroked a line of fire down Dean's front. His breath hitched and he shuddered underneath Cas' touch.

"I can't wait, human."


	81. Raising the Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, WolfMeister, Umbreon, PawneePorpoise, Hippyfangirl, SophiaWhoLock, Michelle, carmen and Alice for your comments :)

**81\. Whisper something romantic to partner in crowded room**

"I'm not sure I like bars as much as diners," Cas commented when Dean returned with their drinks. "Bars are overly crowded and full of drunken people with little understanding of personal space and basic manners, who are only interested in finding somebody for a night of emotionless sex. It seems rather…crude and sinful."

The burly guy nearby shot Cas an ugly look, which Dean quickly headed off with a terrifying 'Winchester' glare of his own. While he was small compared to a lot of built guys, he knew that his death glare – honed by Hell itself – was enough to send even the bulkiest guy away whimpering.

"Eh, you get used to it," he said to Cas, kissing him on the cheek and smiling sweetly at the nearby blonde in a low-cut red dress, who had been eyeing Cas up in interest. "But hey. Whatever floats their boat. Used to float mine till you crashed into my life, sweetheart."

Cas smiled goofily and took a sip of beer.

"I like it when you call me that. It makes more sense than nicknames such as sugar or honey or baby."

Dean grinned. Cas suddenly leaned in for a quick, bordering on possessive, kiss that left Dean lightheaded when his angel finally pulled away.

"The hell's that for?" he said stupidly.

"No reason," Cas said angelically. "I just really love you, Dean."

Dean heard a small huff behind him and turned to see a brunette in a sleek black dress slide off, clearly in search of a more willing victim.

"You jealous little angel," he smirked. "Not so pure, are you?"

"I clearly learned from the best," Cas shot back immediately. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Point." He took a swig of beer and leaned in close to whisper to Cas. "But you don't need to worry. Nobody gets a piece of my sweet ass but you. And I love that I'm the only one who gets to touch you like this."

Cas sucked in a deep breath and pulled back slightly so that he could press his lips to Dean's.

"Take me home, handsome?" Dean heard a chick purr to a nearby guy. A sly smile flickered across Cas' lips.

"I agree with her. Will you take me home, Dean?"

Dean failed to hide his snort.

"We don't have a home, Cas. Not like that."

"Then will you take me to bed?"

Dean opened his mouth to agree but then picked up the subtle signs that Cas really didn't feel like it at the moment, like the slight stiffness to his profile and the way his eyes flicked away from Dean's when Dean tried to meet his gaze. Dean slung an arm around Cas' shoulders.

"Try that again when you're in the mood and I just might say yes, angel."

Cas smiled and leaned into his embrace.

"Then take me to bed so that I can at least kiss you and treat you to a massage. I'm rather tired of this place."

Dean grinned again and stood up.

"You got it, sweetheart."


	82. Eh I Tried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Yeah…no. My head's a fucking mess today and I just…I'm sorry but this is total crap.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, KMB, Imma_Reddy_Panda, SophiaWhoLock, Hirotashi, PawneePorpoise and thatfreak13 for your comments :)

**82\. Hug or kiss partner unexpectedly**

"Worst bit about rooms where we can actually cook," Dean grumbled, scrubbing a plate harder than was probably necessary. "We gotta actually clean up after ourselves."

Cas didn't reply but that didn't worry Dean. His angel was probably just absorbed in another book (really, if he wanted a nerd for a partner, he'd have propositioned Sam years ago. Although Cas actually looked sexy when he read…and every other time) or getting ready for bed or something.

So when a pair of arms encircled Dean's waist, he jumped and nearly sloshed the water in the sink all over the floor.

"Dammit, angel! Don't do that to me!" he complained, though he had no objections whatsoever. And when Cas pressed a gentle kiss to the nape of his neck, Dean just sighed softly and melted into the touch.

"I could use my 'mojo' to clean these dishes," Cas suggested, trailing kisses along Dean's shoulder. "And then you could come to bed with me and give me a very thorough kiss goodnight. I may not desire sex at the moment but I would very much like a long, deep goodnight kiss."

Dean opened his mouth to say that yeah, that was a fucking good idea, when –

"But you've been very firm about only using my grace on hunts. I wouldn't want to break your rule, Dean. So I'm going to go to bed and wait for you to finish these dishes, even if I'm feeling rather impatient."

"You fucker," Dean muttered, dumping the plate in the water. "You can't do that to me!"

He turned around and cupped Cas' stubbly face, despite the fact that his hands were soaking and wrinkled.

"Would you like me to clean the dishes for you, Dean?" Cas said innocently.

"You fucking better, sweetheart. Then you better get your ass into bed or else."


	83. Totally Shameless Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> The only social media I sort of occasionally use is my admin page on Facebook (Crowley's Moose Squirrel's Angel – with spaces because Facebook was being a bitch about it) so if you want to see me bitching about life or just want to talk, feel free to haunt. I'm also babypandangel on Twitter, which I really only use to stalk – er, keep up to date with – our boys and other people like Markiplier and jacksepticeye.
> 
> Thanks to Shannon_Kind, Hirotashi, PawneePorpoise, trash and Imma_Reddy_Panda for your comments :)

**83\. Wink and smile at partner from across the room**

"Thanks," Dean said idly as the woman handed him his change. She smiled widely at him but all he could focus on was Cas, who was sitting awkwardly in a booth and waiting for him to finish paying for their food.

"…and purple unicorns are about to invade the town," the woman was saying. Dean blinked and shook his head.

"Sorry?" he said incredulously. The woman – Claudia, as her name tag said – smiled mischievously.

"Had to get your attention somehow, sweetcheeks," she said. She looked past him at Cas. "You got it bad, don't ya?"

Dean shrugged.

"So what if I do?"

Claudia smirked at him.

"Kinda sweet that you don't give a damn what people think. Some can be downright nasty."

Dean gave her an uncomfortable smile.

"I learned my lesson. Listened to what others said and ended up hurting him 'cause of it. Now I've just learned not to give a fuck."

"That's the spirit!" Claudia said cheerfully. "Damn shame that he's got his hooks into ya. You're probably the most decent guy I've had all day. Doesn't hurt that you're easy on the eyes."

"Don't think those hooks are gonna loosen up any sooner. I think they're stuck for good."

Claudia's mischievous smile widened.

"That's sweet. He must be someone special."

Dean turned to look at Cas, who was staring right back at him as usual. When Cas gave him a small smile, something exploded in his stomach and heat surged through him and all he could do was grin back and wink at him. Cas' smile widened.

"Oh, he is," Dean said softly. "He's my angel."


	84. Chilly Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Thanks to ReaThompson, WolfMeister, Hirotashi, Sablesilverrain, KMB, PawneePorpoise and Umbreon for your comments :)

**84\. Build a snowman together**

"Will you help me build a snowman?"

Dean blinked and lowered his beer.

"Uh, what?"

Cas shrugged.

"I've observed human children building snowmen, often with their parents. I don't see the appeal in making mounds of snow and then giving them a humanoid appearance with sticks and rocks and other items."

"I dunno either." Dean took a final swig of beer and dumped the bottle on the table. "Sammy loved it when we were kids, so I'd do it with him until he insisted he was old enough."

"So will you do it with me? I'm curious to see how it can be entertaining."

Dean regarded Cas for a moment before standing up and grabbing his leather jacket.

"Sure. C'mon, angel."

Once outside, Dean crouched down and scooped up a handful of crunchy white snow.

"You gotta find the right snow for it," he instructed. "Too dry and it won't stick properly. Too wet and it'll just melt into slush. See, this snow's perfect. A bit on the wet side but it'll hold its shape."

The intensity in Cas' blue eyes as he watched Dean start to pack the snow into a ball made warmth blossom in him, despite their freezing surroundings. He grinned.

"You try. And later, I'll show you how to make a snow angel."

"I highly doubt that a snow angel is anything like the real thing," Cas said sceptically, reaching down to start forming a ball of snow. Dean marvelled at his ability to ignore the cold with no gloves.

"Course it isn't. For one, it's not nearly as hot."

Cas rolled his eyes to high heaven.

"You and your puns, Dean."

"Ah, you know you love 'em."

"Yes. And you."

Dean's goofy grin widened.

"Ah, stop that. C'mon, how big's that ball getting?"

While Cas piled more snow into a ball, Dean gathered up a handful of white powder, compressed it and then hurled it right at Cas. The look on his angel's face as he jerked around, snow falling through his beautiful dark hair, was absolutely priceless.

"I am an angel, Dean. A warrior with millennia of experience. You truly wish to start a battle between us?"

Dean wiggled his eyebrows, smirking. The next moment, he found himself sprawled in the snow with a pink-faced angel on top of him.

"You should be careful," Cas said in a low voice, blue eyes gleaming. "You should choose your battles wisely, human."

Despite his best efforts otherwise, Dean found himself becoming very turned on by his dominating angel.

"Bring it on, sweetheart."

When Cas bent down and crushed their lips together, he let out a pleased groan and eagerly leaned up to return the favour. But then, to his alarm, Cas abruptly pulled away and smirked down at him.

"I was under the impression that we were in battle, Dean. And enemies don't often kiss each other."

"We could make an exception," Dean said suggestively, trying to pull Cas back down and ignoring the fact that his clothes were soaking through and his back was numbing.

"You're the one who initiated this battle. So you must deal with the consequences."

"You're the one who kissed me!" Dean retorted in what definitely wasn't a whine. Cas smiled innocently at him.

"So I did."

Then he shoved a handful of snow in Dean's face. Dean spluttered and thrashed in surprise.

"Oh – this means war, angel!"


	85. Extra Crispy Castiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> SO I FINISHED THE FIRST 'Trials of Apollo' BOOK YESTERDAY AND MY OTP IS CANON MY GAY OTP IS CANON SOLANGELO IS CANON ASDFGHJKL
> 
> Thanks to PawneePorpoise, MellQueenOfHell, Hirotashi, 0ShadowPrincess0 and Imma_Reddy_Panda for your comments :)

**85\. Try a new thing together**

"I still don't believe it," Dean said, shaking his head.

"Who would give a dish that name?" a puzzled Cas agreed.

"I dunno. It can't be _that_ hot."

"Oh, it is," the man behind the counter said with an evil grin. "You eat it all, you get it for free. Only know two people that've done it."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas.

"Wanna try it, angel?"

"Only if you try it with me."

Dean shrugged.

"Fine then."

He picked up the suicide volcano burrito, stared at it suspiciously and then took a bite. Immediately, he choked and spluttered and tried to spit out the thing that was setting his mouth on fire and God, this was almost as bad as hellfire!

"Hot! Hot! Gimme somethin'!" he wheezed, eyes streaming. The man behind the counter laughed long and loud.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas said, lips twitching. Dean glared at him weakly in response and thrust the burrito into his hands.

"You eat it then, smartass!" he rasped. Cas smiled innocently as he accepted the burrito and took a big bite. The man prepared for another epic fail but Cas simply continued to chew serenely, looking almost bored.

"I hardly feel the heat," he said smugly. Dean glowered as his angel took another bite.

"He's a freak of nature," he muttered to the astounded man.

"Damn, son, you got skills," the man said to Cas, shaking his head. "Either that or you burned your nerves right off ages ago. Enjoy that burrito."

Cas' smile widened and he leaned forward and kissed Dean right on the lips. Dean glared when his lips began to sting again.

"Oh, I will."


	86. Still No Cheesy Correllation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> This was suggested by LokiNeedsHugs1031 when she was having a rough day – I gave her my list of prompts and she picked this one for me to do next but I kept having blocks with it, so I put it off. Finally got it out! XD
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, Shannon_Kind, WolfMeister and SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**86\. Leave encouraging notes for partner around house**

_You're one of the strongest humans I know, Dean._

Freshly emerged from the shower, Dean grinned down at the note in his hand, written in Cas' elegant handwriting. Yesterday had been total crap; not only had they gotten the wrong bones in their salt and burn but this mistake had nearly cost them another victim. Hell, if Cas hadn't worked his mojo and healed her, the poor chick would've been dead at worst or permanently crippled in her left leg at best.

It seemed that Cas was trying to cheer him up today and this thought brought a wider smile to his face.

"Cas? If you're gonna be sappy, at least face me!" he called. There was no reply, so he just shrugged and crossed over to the bed and collapsed face down on it. A rustling sound caught his attention.

"Seriously?" he said, carefully unfolding it.

_You're also incredibly smart and talented. I greatly admire your appearance and not a day goes by where I don't thank the heavens that only I can have you in the way that I do._

"Okay, that's just revolting," Dean mumbled, though another grin crossed his lips. The familiar sound of rustling behind him alerted him to Cas' appearance.

"I went to get you some lunch," his angel said, holding out a paper bag and a disposable drink cup. Dean made a sound of appreciation and took the food.

"You're the best," he swore, almost ripping the bag open. "But next time, stick around when you leave cheesy notes like that. You big plucked chicken."

Cas gave him a less than impressed look.

"I knew that you would want to process that 'cheese' on your own – and I still don't understand how cheese corresponds to emotions and romance. I also knew that you would be hungry and forgive me for using my wings."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"What'd I tell ya? Nothing to forgive. If you need to stretch your wings, stretch 'em. And if I need to kiss you…"

Cas' lips twitched as he sat down next to Dean.

"Then kiss me," he demanded. Dean smirked.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart."


	87. Well I Mean It's Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> OKAY SO THIS WASN'T HOW IT WAS MEANT TO TURN OUT BUT MEH
> 
> Thanks to MellQueenOfHell, WolfMeister, boundless_and_bare, Hirotashi and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**87\. Spontaneously spend entire day together away from the house**

"We could spend the whole day in here together," Dean suggested slyly, wiggling his eyebrows. "Just you, me and this nice, comfy bed…"

Cas smiled sweetly as he buttoned up his wrinkled shirt.

"Or we could spend our day touring this town and doing something more productive than sex," he said, smoothing down his shirt and picking up his tie. "Salem has much history and I want to explore it before we leave Massachusetts."

"Only 'cause of the witch hunts," Dean scoffed, reluctantly pulling on a T-shirt after giving it a quick sniff. He shot his best sexy pout at Cas, who just laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Adorable as you are, that won't work. But if you don't complain once today, I promise that I will reward you tonight."

Dean brightened up at that and he hurried to get dressed so that they could get out of the room.

"What's up?" he said when Cas sighed.

"Sometimes, I wonder if sex is what is most important to you," his angel said. "I know that you told me that it's of little consequence when I don't want it but when I am in the 'mood'…"

Dean wilted at Cas' words. Was he really coming across as some sort of sex-crazed lunatic who preferred Cas' body to the actual angel? He'd thought he was past that…

"Hey. C'mere, sweetheart."

He held out his arms. Cas sat down next to him smoothly and allowed Dean to pull him into a tight embrace and kiss the top of his head.

"You know that I express myself better through fucking your brains out than with words or cheesy couple crap. So when you _are_ in the mood…I dunno. I s'pose I just wanna show you how much I – how much I _that_ word you before the next time you don't want it."

"I know," Cas said quietly. "My apologies, Dean. I was being foolish."

"Oh, hell no." Dean drew back so that he could plant a quick kiss on Cas' lips. "Don't apologise, angel. I'm glad you brought this up instead of just letting it simmer 'til we blew up and fought about it."

He ran his fingers through Cas' messy black hair. Cas closed his eyes and purred softly, leaning into the touch.

"If it's ever too much, just freaking tell me. Okay? I know I can be an overeager son of a bitch who can't keep it in my pants –"

"Dean, what have I said about self-deprecating comments?"

Dean snorted.

"Not puttin' myself down, Cas. It's the truth. If I didn't have you, I'd probably be fucking someone right now. Or tonight. And then again tomorrow night. I know I can be a real playboy."

Cas opened his eyes to look straight into Dean's.

"People change. You've changed. You still desire sex a lot and it still remains your best and most potent method of communication but you're much more likely to do 'sappy, romantic stuff' – as you put it – when I ask than at the start of our relationship. Just as sex is not my favourite activity but I still indulge in it because it makes you happy, you indulge in romantic activities with me simply because it makes me happy."

He smiled before softly kissing Dean. Dean melted into the touch.

"And I love you even more for it."


	88. Insert Witty Title Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Exactly two weeks before I meet Misha and the others! I'M SO EXCITED! The only thing that'd make it better is if Jared and Jensen were going!
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, MellQueenOfHell, WolfMeister, PawneePorpoise, KMB, Hopefulfangirl, SophiaWhoLock and 0ShadowPrincess0 for your comments :)

**88\. Build sandcastles on beach**

"Cheater," Dean muttered, eyeing Cas' magnificent sandcastle out of the corner of his eye. While building sandcastles wasn't exactly high up on his list of 'fun things to do', he hadn't been able to say no once the sneaky, angelic fucker turned those blue puppy dog eyes on him and reasoned that he'd never been able to before, and Dean had never had the chance as a kid.

"I don't understand how this is difficult," Cas said, raising himself on his haunches to add the sandy roof to a sandy tower. "If one simply has a basic understanding of physics –"

"Well, we can't all be nerdy angels like you," Dean said, sharper than intended. He could have kicked himself when Cas drooped, so he returned to his own miserable pile of sand instead of looking at his dejected angel. "If this thing would fucking stay upright –!"

His sandcastle promptly collapsed again. Dean ground his teeth, determinedly not looking at Cas as his angel gracefully rose to his feet – probably to make his fucking castle even taller. Suddenly, there was the swooshing sound of sand falling in on itself.

"Oh," Cas said softly. "I tripped over. My castle…"

His magnificent creation now lay in a massive pile. Guilt began to bubble in Dean's stomach when he caught sight of the unconvincing look of disappointment on his angel's face.

"You didn't have to do that," he mumbled. "I'm just being a sore loser. I know you did that on purpose."

Cas rolled his eyes.

"It's a castle made of sand, Dean," he said in a long-suffering voice, stepping over Dean and sinking down to straddle him. "Your happiness is much more important than an easily replaceable creation."

"Well, I'm not happy, am I? I'm guilty."

Cas cupped Dean's face while narrowing his eyes.

"Well, don't feel guilty. Besides, I was getting rather bored of that activity. I'd much rather sit on top of you and kiss you until the sun begins to set."

Dean swallowed.

"I wouldn't mind that," he croaked.


	89. Water Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Well, it's not every day the Prime Minister visits your town…though I didn't get to see him and he's from the opposite party to the one that I support, so meh.
> 
> And I'll write up a longer smut soon. I've just been busy between working and packing up the house to move next month (it took THREE AND A HALF HOURS just to pack up my room) and trying to muster up energy but I'll get it done :)
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, PawneePorpoise and SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**89\. Splash each other**

"I hate water nymphs," Dean grumbled, trying to be as quiet as possible as he waded through the shallow stream. "Can't you just smite her?"

"I could," Cas agreed quietly. "If she revealed herself so that I could lay a hand on her."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Smart ass," he muttered, pausing to take a quick glance at his surroundings. He shivered when Cas pressed a kiss to the back of his neck.

"You still love me."

"'Course I do. C'mon, this way."

He turned to the left and set off in their new direction. However, in the dark and armed with only a flashlight, he couldn't make out any obstacles in the water ahead of him and so he wasn't really surprised when his foot snagged on something and he lost his balance.

"Dean!" Cas exclaimed, grabbing him to try and halt his fall. However, all this achieved was bringing him down on top of Dean in the chilly stream.

"D-Dammit, Cas!" Dean laughed, shivering violently. "Get off me, you son of a bitch!"

His lips twitching, Cas leaned down to kiss Dean before trying to wriggle off him.

"H-Hurry it up!" Dean said and splashed Cas in the face. Cas stared at him, spluttering and dripping wet.

"Dean –"

Dean smirked and wagged a finger.

"D-Don't even s-start. W-Water nymph nearby."

Cas narrowed his eyes.

"Fine." He leapt gracefully to his feet and hauled Dean up after him. "But I _will_ get my revenge after this hunt. And I won't dry you, so you can just stay cold and wet."

Dean's smirk slid off his face.


	90. Just Not Working Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Yeah…tonight just isn't working at all. I don't even know.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon and KMB for your comments :)

**90\. Go to an amusement park**

"I don't understand. What is the purpose of these places?"

Dean grinned around at the rides and cheapskate stalls.

"To make you pay for adrenaline rides and games that you've never got any chance of winning."

"I still don't understand."

"Hey, you wanted the human experience. Amusement parks are part of it. Now, c'mon! I wanna ride the roller coaster!"

Cas frowned up at the screaming people.

"That looks unsafe. Why would people deliberately endanger themselves in that way?"

"Uh, for the adrenaline rush. C'mon, angel! I'll hold you tight if you get scared."

He winked suggestively and slung an arm around his angel.

"But I won't get scared. I doubt that a metal death trap could harm me."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Oh. That was a suggestion."

"Yeah. So, what d'you say, sweetheart?"

Cas smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Only if you promise not to let go of me."


	91. If You Need Me I'll Be Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> (So I have a total weakness for this cliché I'm sorry I can't help myself you had to know it was coming but no I won't go mpreg because that's not my thing)
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock, PawneePorpoise, Imma_Reddy_Panda and KMB for your comments :)

**91\. Indulge in partner's kinks**

"The hell is this?" Dean exclaimed when he opened the bathroom door after his shower to find Cas with a huge pile of pillows and blankets that weren't even from this _motel_. Cas gave him a sheepish look.

"My apologies, Dean. I just – this is the season when angels begin to settle down and mate. God may have created us but we still must be able to reproduce like every other species or else there is a high chance of us dying out."

Dean blinked.

"So, what, you're in heat or something?"

Cas shrugged.

"Not quite. While it's true that I do feel the draw to mate with you, it's not necessarily 'heat'. We aren't compelled to mate and we are not uncontrollably aroused or suffer insatiable desire. But we do have the strong instinct to find a safe place with our mate and…I suppose 'nest' would be an adequate term to describe it."

"I thought I wasn't your mate. We haven't done the whole 'angel marriage' thing! Have we?"

"No, Dean. But I love you deeply and we sleep together and are as emotionally invested in each other as mates can be. Therefore, to my instincts I do have a mate. And also, you consider me your partner and treat me as your mate, so that expresses your reciprocation."

Cas tilted his head. Something jolted in Dean's stomach at the familiar gesture.

"It's rather odd. I've never felt the urge to nest before, nor have I felt the draw to mate. But now, all I want to do is build a nest and make sure that neither of us leave it."

"How long's it gonna last?" Dean asked. Cas looked away – almost as though he was ashamed of his 'weirdness' or something.

"Possibly a week. Two at the most. Just long enough for any conception to take hold and commence gestation."

"So – uh – is there any chance of any of us – y'know –"

"Conceiving? You definitely have no chance, Dean. As for me…well, as human vessels are not our true bodies, I would stand a chance of conceiving. But the fledgling would grow in my grace, not my physical body. However, nephilim are forbidden and while neither of us would care about defying Heaven, I'm sure that you don't want a child."

Dean grimaced. While he couldn't deny that he loved Cas and having a kid of his own would be awesome – since he'd always been good with kids and hell, he'd liked taking care of Ben for those few weeks he'd been with Lisa before Cas – he'd only been going out with Cas for maybe a year. He wasn't ready to angel mate with him and have angel kids!

"Yeah, no. Don't get me wrong," he added sharply when Cas looked away with pink cheeks, "I do wanna have kids one day when everything's less crazy. And – and I'd wanna have 'em with you, even though you're in a dude body and everything. I mean, I figured more along the lines of adoption but…hey, angel babies work."

Cas stared at him.

"It's just – it's like the angel mate thing. Too soon, man. I gotta take it one step at a time or – y'know, I'll freak out and run for the hills. And hey, if it helps, I'm slowly comin' around to the angel mate idea. Still not there yet but…I'm gettin' there."

The next thing he knew, he had his arms full of clingy angel who kept breathlessly kissing his face and leaving him lightheaded and grinning giddily.

"Okay, okay – whoa – settle down, sweetheart – Cas, man, I'm gonna fall over –"

Finally, he managed to extract himself from Cas' octopus grip and his grin widened when he saw that his angel was beaming widely.

"The fact that you're even considering it…Dean, this makes me very happy!"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, tugging Cas into a rough hug and kissing the top of his head. "Get over yourself, angel. No chick flick moments, remember?"

Cas just smiled knowingly.

"Alright, I'm headin' out."

Cas' smile faded slightly and he frowned.

"Why?"

"You said this nesting crap lasts for a week or two. I'm human, remember? I still gotta eat and I don't think you're gonna let me up for more than two minutes, so diner food's outta the question."

Cas' grin returned.

"Of course. I'll keep building this nest. It should be ready by the time you return."

Cas was right. By the time Dean returned with quick-to-prepare food and an extension on their room, courtesy of a brand new fake credit card, Cas had made an impressive nest from luxurious, high quality blankets and pillows and even –

"Dude, are those my _shirts_?"

Cas looked down with a shy smile.

"I – their scent – it appeals to me. I love your smell, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes harder than he had in a long time.

"Man, you're an even bigger girl than _Sam_ is. That nest done yet?"

"Put your food away and it will be."

Though Dean refused to admit it, it felt nice to be pulled into the huge nest and tugged close to Cas, who was curled up in a ball and purring softly in contentment.

"I'm not getting outta here, am I?"

Cas chuckled and nuzzled into the crook of Dean's neck.

"No, Dean. I don't believe you are."


	92. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So…here's the other Castiel POV chapter that I promised. I'm still blocking up when it comes to these, which is really irritating me, but I have to get through them because I've sworn never to miss a day. It also might be my last smut in this fic – I have a few more suggestive prompts but I'm not sure yet – so I kinda went all out for you guys…
> 
> It's also my attempt to explain how I, a technically-demisexual-but-leaning-more-towards-ace, feel when it comes to this stuff – like actually feel, not 'opinion feel'. Granted, I don't have a Dean of my own (because if I did, I'd be nesting right about now) but…
> 
> (And I mean this is technically spicing it up because since when does Dean ever have nest sex I probs should've used this prompt for the super long 4k+ smut chapter ahahahaha)
> 
> NSFW ;)
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, WolfMeister, Shannon_Kind, Sablesilverrain, Imma_Reddy_Panda, KMB, Vanessa, Umbreon, PawneePorpoise and 0ShadowPrincess0 for your comments :)

**92\. Spice sex up**

When Castiel awoke from his meditative state to find his nest missing one human, he frowned. He'd known that Dean had left – he was still aware of his surroundings while in his trance – but Dean had been gone for fifteen minutes now and Castiel's nesting instincts were screaming at him to find his mate, pin him down in the nest and never let him go until this period had passed.

But Castiel knew that he was being selfish. Dean wasn't an angel; he couldn't be expected to remain in the nest _all_ the time. It was a wonder that he'd even agreed to indulge in Castiel's nesting instinct, and even to _consider_ officially mating with Castiel. If that was ever to happen…Castiel was certain that he would be the happiest being alive.

The sound of the motel door opening snapped Castiel out of his thoughts. Speaking of pinning Dean down…

"Hey, Cas." Dean closed the door behind him and stretched, exposing a nice bit of belly that Castiel's eyes locked onto. Dean really was a fine piece of art and Castiel enjoyed looking at him for hours on end, just drinking in his beauty even if the angel felt nothing but aesthetic attraction towards his body. "Sorry 'bout that. Just needed to stretch my legs."

"I don't mind, Dean. I didn't expect you to remain in the nest at all times."

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, trying to appease the throb in his groin. Ever since entering nesting season, he'd been finding himself aroused far more often than usual but he found that his human's body still didn't 'turn him on', as Dean so eloquently phrased it. Yes, Dean's body was one of the most beautiful sights that Castiel had ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on and he never grew tired of exploring his human's body with his eyes, but as far as eliciting sexual desire…

"You okay?" Dean said as he cut himself a slice of pie from the refrigerator and joined Castiel in the nest. "You're quiet."

"I'm fine, Dean. I just…even with my increased sexual appetite, I still find myself incapable of being sexually attracted to you or being 'turned on' by your body. It pains me. You're incredibly beautiful and –"

"Okay, stop right there," Dean interrupted. Annoyance blossomed in Castiel at his human's utter inability to accept a compliment and at his favoured tactic of directing the conversation away from topics that spoke positively of him. "You know I don't care anymore, right? I mean, it got to me a bit in the beginning but I know that you – I know you still want me, even if it's not specifically _me_."

"Because that makes sense," Castiel muttered irritably. Dean snorted.

"Pie?" He held out the slice of apple pie. Castiel obediently took a small bite, trying to taste the combined flavour of the pie amongst all of the molecules.

"In terms of sexuality, I could sleep with anybody and be satisfied," he mumbled around his pie. "It's not as though I feel attraction specifically to _you_ , because I feel _none_ of that sort of attraction. But my romantic feelings for you mean that I would feel uncomfortable having sex with anybody else."

"You old-fashioned romantic," Dean said mockingly, though Castiel could sense the fondness in his voice. Castiel sighed and shifted again to relieve his aching groin.

"I hate my increased libido," he complained. "It makes me uncomfortable. I _want_ sex very much but this is almost _too_ much. It won't stop until I conceive and we both know that that is not an option at the moment."

Dean waited until he'd forced the last bit of pie into his mouth and swallowed it before answering.

"Nothing'll happen if I bottom, right? I'm not the one who can get pregnant with an angel baby."

"That's right."

"So just fuck me. That'll take care of it for now and we won't end up with a little brat on our hands." He paused and frowned. "I can't believe we're actually talking about this. When they tell us to 'be safe and wrap it' and all that crap, I don't think they're talkin' about angel babies."

Castiel laughed in spite of himself.

"Thank you for being so accepting, Dean. I would understand if you 'turned tail and run', as I believe the saying goes."

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Castiel into a hug. Castiel snuggled into his side and allowed his grace to resonate happily. His body produced a 'purring' sound, as Dean called it, as a result.

"If I was gonna run, I'd've done it at the first gay freak out I had. Or the first time I got fucked. I'm not gonna ditch you now."

Castiel's grace began to resonate harder and, though Dean couldn't see this, he wrapped his wings around his human while nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"Take your clothes off, Dean," he said, pressing kisses along Dean's collar. "You have exactly thirty seconds before I remove them for you with my grace."

The speed at which Dean leapt up and undressed amused Castiel to no end. The minute Dean was fully unclothed, he knelt down and began to unbutton Castiel's shirt. Castiel was thankful that he hadn't put his coats back on after taking them off previously.

"Do you want me to assist you, Dean?" he chuckled. Dean shook his head.

"Nah," he said, nibbling kisses down Castiel's chest as he undid each button and revealed more skin. Castiel's breath hitched. "Like it when I can take your clothes off."

Castiel closed his eyes when Dean began to lick around the waistband of his slacks. He lay back against the pillows and blankets behind him and forced himself to resist the urge to shove Dean to the floor and roughly make love to him, as every instinct in him was crying for him to do. Instead, he waited patiently for Dean to unbutton his trousers and slowly pull them down, kissing the insides of his thighs. Castiel shivered at the warm sensations that shot from every point of contact that Dean's lips made.

"Fucking gorgeous, man," Dean said quietly, shifting slightly to begin ravishing Castiel's hipbones. Unable to help himself, the angel's hips bucked up and Dean had to hold them down. "How the fuck did I get this lucky?"

Shuddering and breathless with Dean's words, Castiel stroked his fingers through Dean's hair and gripped tightly, ready to tug as Dean liked when he started to feel overwhelmed. At the moment, Dean was still kissing his hipbones and while Castiel's head swam slightly, it was nowhere near the near-unbearable pleasure that he knew Dean was capable of giving him.

"I – I ask myself that – every day," Castiel panted. He whined when Dean pulled down his boxers at a teasingly slow pace, lavishing kisses on every inch of skin that was revealed. "I – you are so beautiful, Dean – so kind – loyal – protective – every day, I ask myself how – just what I did to deserve you –"

Dean quickly silenced him with a kiss.

"Stop talkin' crazy, angel. Lift up."

Castiel obediently raised his hips so that Dean could remove his underwear.

"Wait here for a sec."

The time it took for Dean to leave their nest and retrieve the bottle of lubricant felt like an eternity to Castiel, even though he knew that it was only a minute at most. The minute Dean returned, the angel reached out to grab him by the back of the neck and pulled him back down to attack his mouth.

"Mmm, yeah," Dean said softly when they separated briefly for air. "Love kissin' you, sweetheart. Could do this all day."

Castiel smiled and took the bottle from him.

"As could I," was all he said before drawing his human in for another kiss. It was just how Castiel loved it – sweet, gentle and full of love – and he shivered again when he let go of Dean's neck to open the bottle and Dean cupped his face in response. Castiel loved that they always felt the need to touch each other when kissing; it felt like a physical grounding, connecting them to each other and anchoring them so that they didn't float away as he often felt like doing.

He swallowed the sound that Dean made in another kiss when he finally inserted a finger.

"Cas…" Dean groaned, digging his nails into Castiel's cheeks. Castiel smiled up at him.

"You look odd when I'm pleasuring you," he said in a low voice, inserting a second finger to open Dean up further. Dean made a funny sound. "I'm not sure whether it's my lack of attraction or not but you look more funny than sexy."

Dean tried to scowl at him but couldn't; Castiel's fingers had brushed against the small bundle of nerves inside him and all he could do was slip his hands down to dig his fingers into Castiel's biceps, moaning softly.

"But I love it. It's endearingly amusing. I love everything about you, flaws included. I love _you_."

"Quit bein' a sap," Dean forced out, rocking his hips back. Castiel just slipped a third finger inside to scissor his human open even more. "Fuck, Cas!"

"If we do that, you might not be ready for the result at this point in time," Castiel said with a small laugh. The thought that Dean might one day want to become his mate and have fledglings with him sent scorching heat surging through his body and he abruptly removed his fingers from inside Dean. Dean whined in response.

"Be patient, Dean. Just let me sit up a little and bring out my wings. It may help with my situation."

When he had allowed his wings onto the visible plane and finally arranged himself so that he was reclining against the nest bedding, Castiel reached for the bottle to apply lubricant to his aching length. However –

"Gimme that." Dean snatched the bottle and poured some of the clear gel into his hand. After taking several moments to warm it up, he reached down and wrapped his hand around Castiel's penis and Castiel couldn't do anything but gasp and thrust up into Dean's hand in response.

"Dean – I don't think I will last long in my current situation –"

Smirking, Dean gave Castiel's penis one last stroke before swinging a leg over the angel's waist and lining himself up. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and his hands flew to Dean's hips as his human carefully sank down, emitting low groans.

"Damn – Cas – fills me up every time," Dean said in a slightly choked voice. Castiel was _not_ responsible for the sound that escaped his mouth; all he could do was pull Dean so that they were chest-to-chest, Dean seated firmly in his lap, and roll his hips up, thrusting deep into Dean.

" _Dean_!" was all he could say, cocooning Dean with his wings. "Oh, Dean – you feel so good, Dean –"

Dean buried his face in Castiel's shoulder and bit down.

"Fuck – keep goin', angel – feels so good, Cas – Cas –"

Castiel adjusted his angle as best as he could to try and find Dean's prostate. He knew he'd found it when Dean stiffened, arched his back with a strangled cry and grabbed wildly at the strong bones in Castiel's wings to hold on tightly.

"Oh, God!"

"I – would prefer it if – if you kept my Father out of this," Castiel panted, thrusting up as deep into Dean as he could. "I am – I am more than capable of – of adequately pleasuring you."

" _Adequately_?" Dean whimpered. His fingernails scrabbled against feathers as he gripped the wings even tighter and Castiel could have sworn that he nearly went insane just from the bolts of lightning shooting through his grace from where Dean had hold of his wings. "Son – son of a bitch, angel! There's – oh, fuck, right there! – nothing _adequate_ about you!"

Familiar heat was beginning to pool in Castiel's abdomen, at the base of his spine. He began to thrust harder, determined that Dean – his wonderful, beautiful, amazing beyond words Dean – would achieve orgasm before him because his human _deserved_ to be so _loved_. Even if he looked oddly funny, grinding himself on Castiel's length with his face contorted in ecstasy, he was still the most beautiful thing that Castiel had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

Then again, Castiel knew, he probably looked just as ridiculous. How Dean found this attractive, he didn't know.

"So sexy when you're close," Dean said hoarsely, sliding his hands down to tangle his fingers in Castiel's feathers and tug. Castiel made a choked whimpering sound at the almost painful jolt of electric heat and wrapped his arms around Dean as tightly as he could. "C'mon, angel – come for me."

"Not – not until you come," Castiel said. Through the haze of pleasure clouding his mind, it registered that providing Dean's penis with stimulation would assist him in climaxing and he reached down with one hand and wrapped it around Dean's penis while simultaneously thrusting harder than before. Dean yelped.

" _Fuck_ , Cas! Don't – don't fucking stop! I – harder – keep going – nearly there –!"

It took one, two, three more thrusts before Dean's muscles finally seized up and he orgasmed, releasing and coating their stomachs in sticky white fluid. Castiel paid this no mind as he continued to thrust, peppering Dean's face in frantic kisses, and finally, the heat that had been simmering inside his abdomen exploded out and coursed through him.

" _Dean_!" he cried helplessly, his body locking up as he released inside Dean. Dean bit and sucked on his throat, stroked his feathers through his orgasm, and when he finally melted into the nest with leaden limbs, Dean grinned and kissed him on the lips.

"Not bad, angel," he said quietly. "One of the better orgasms I've had. Mind cleaning us up?"

Castiel lazily waved a hand to clean up the mess and then Dean was manhandling him, tugging him into a loose embrace and burying his nose in his hair. Castiel purred contentedly as Dean began to kiss his head and draped a wing over his human like a huge, feathery blanket. He did love it when Dean inhaled his scent. He also found taking in Dean's scent very appealing; his human smelled of leather and alcohol and pie and the cheap, chemical-filled shampoo that he used, mixed with the scent of Castiel's shampoo that he occasionally used (not that he would ever admit this, Castiel knew) and the angel could not get enough of it. Why couldn't he simply spend the rest of his life surrounding himself with this scent? Why couldn't he spend eternity in Dean's warm arms?

"I love you, Dean," he murmured, fighting back a content yawn. "Even with my lack of attraction, sex is always amazing with you. And you're so good to me."

He purred again when Dean idly ran a hand up and down his back and he reached up to gently stroke Dean's short, spiky hair.

"You serious? You're too good for me, angel. I'm just tryin' my best to hold on to you."

"I highly doubt that anybody will have this strong a hold on me," Castiel said with mild irritation, too exhausted to be properly annoyed with Dean's self-worth issues. "I doubt that many others would have accepted my angelic instincts as you did. You always do your very best to protect those closest to you and I –"

"Hey. Enough with the self-deprecating shit. You're ruinin' the moment."

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"You started it," he muttered. Dean snorted.

"Whatever, sweetheart. Just enjoy the fucking moment."


	93. More Fluff But What's New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Sorry it's not much but after a comment I got last chapter…I think it was more ignorant than malicious but gee, way to invalidate the sexuality of hundreds of people…hooray for acephobia and reinforcing the fact that we're fucking invisible…
> 
> Though on a more positive note, I've recently fallen in love with 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day. I don't know whether a possible new band obsession is good or not…
> 
> Thanks to Athos H, PawneePorpoise, Hirotashi, Umbreon, k and LokiNeedsHugs for your comments :)

**93\. Blindfolds**

"What the hell, Cas?" Dean said, though he couldn't help but grin and shiver when Cas' hands ran down his sides.

"You agreed to try something new with me," Cas' low voice said from above Dean.

"Yeah but blindfolds? The hell?"

"With your sight obstructed, your other senses are heightened. I thought that you might better appreciate this feeling if it was a little more intense."

Dean shuddered as Cas' hands ghosted up over his belly and throat and brushed over his lips. He tried to kiss the fingers as they passed but Cas was quick to take them away, though Dean definitely didn't complain when his angel replaced them with lips a moment later.

"But I like looking at you," Dean said petulantly when Cas pulled away. "You're gorgeous. You and your wings. And your true form's badass and awesome."

Cas was silent for a moment.

"What prompted you to say that?"

Dean shrugged. He fumbled around for Cas' hand and squeezed it when he found it.

"I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I like your vessel more than you. But I don't – your true form's as sexy as the body I see. Fuck, now I sound like a chick."

"I've had the impression for a while now that you enjoy 'chick flicks'," Cas teased softly. "And I do know that you love me for me and not just for Jimmy Novak's body."

"Yeah. Just wanted to make sure you knew." Dean forced out a laugh. "Man, I'm glad Jimmy's gone. I'd feel ten kinds of wrong messing around with you if he was still in there."

With his lack of sight, he was keenly aware of Cas descending on him, lying so that their bare chests were pressed together and their clothed legs tangled together. He was also aware of every little touch to his body – every little sensation from Cas stroking his chest and tracing patterns, and every little zing from where his angel's lips mouthed small kisses to his neck and collar.

"I don't want to hear another self-deprecating comment from you ever again, Dean," Cas said firmly. "Every time I think that I can't love you any more, you prove me wrong. Do you understand me?"

When he softly pressed his lips to Dean's, Dean nodded quickly. Though that totally wasn't fair. He'd have agreed to anything with his angel pressed up against him…

"You're a total cheat, sweetheart. You know I can't say no when you kiss me."

Cas chuckled.

"Believe it or not, you have much the same effect on me. We're both as bad as each other."

"Yeah. Could be worse, I s'pose. 'M glad I got you, Cas, and not someone else. And 'm glad you're not with anyone else."

He jumped slightly and then melted when Cas' fingers tangled in his hair and began to stroke.

"Never, Dean. Nobody else could ever measure up to you."


	94. Lol Dean Can't Write

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> So by my calculations, this fic will end on the day before the SPN con next Sunday. I'll be so busy on Sunday that I won't start my next prompt fic until Monday – but WOW, talk about timing! XD
> 
> Current song: 'Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off' by Panic! At the Disco. Yes, that is the actual name of the song.
> 
> Thanks to Umbreon, Shandere, Hirotashi, KMB and SophiaWhoLock for your comments :)

**94\. Write a love letter**

' _No, that won't work,'_ Dean thought with a scowl, crumpling up the piece of paper and flinging it over his shoulder.

"Dean? Why did you just hit me in the head with a wad of paper?"

Dean jumped and whirled around to see Cas standing behind him, a puzzled look on his face.

"Cas! Fuck's sake, man! Do I have to tie a bell around your neck or something?"

Cas tilted his head.

"Why would you tie a bell around my neck?"

"Because that'd be the only warning I ever get when you appear behind me like that!"

"Oh. My apologies."

Dean waved it aside.

"Don't worry about it, angel. One of these days, I'm gonna shoot or stab you when you do that and I don't wanna hurt you."

Silence fell on the room.

"What are you writing, Dean?"

Dean heaved a huge sigh and threw the notepad of motel stationery on the bed.

"You said the other night when we watched that chick flick that getting a love letter was 'incredibly romantic' and 'shows the depth of his feelings towards her'. Thought I'd give it a go and show you that I actually do – y'know…"

"But you wrote me that poem. I still have it."

"Yeah, jacked from _Harry Potter_! Still haven't actually written anything original!"

"Dean, stop it." Cas sat down on the bed next to Dean, looking less than impressed. "We have established that you aren't good with words. I don't care if you have no skill in writing love letters or expressing yourself through words. Why do you insist on focusing on all of your traits that you perceive as negative and ignore any positives that you have?"

"I don't!" Dean said defensively. Cas raised an eyebrow. "It's just easier, okay? That way, I'm not fucking disappointed or hurt when people talk shit about me. And I _am_ a shit person, so –"

"Dean, stop!"

Dean immediately fell silent, nearly shivering at the 'dominating angel' in Cas' voice. Cas seemed to take a moment to compose himself.

"This is what I want you to do," the angel finally said. "Every time you think or say something negative about yourself – or feel the urge to – then say something positive about yourself."

Dean stared.

"I'm going to make sure that you at least begin to see your true worth if it is the last thing I do."

"Cas –"

"Don't argue with me, Dean. Do you understand me?"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, sweetheart."


	95. Never Play Cards With An Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> My head so isn't in it today. Just personal shit I'm dealing with – nothing you guys need to worry about.
> 
> Not NSFW per se but yeah, there is a bit of non-explicit sex.
> 
> Thanks to Hirotashi, Shannon_Kind, Shandere, Umbreon, SophiaWhoLock, KMB and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**95\. Have a games night, with a sexy prize**

"I think it's time to introduce you to the joys of card games," Dean announced, slinging an arm around Cas' shoulders. Cas frowned at him.

"Card games?"

"Yeah! I got a pack of cards today. I can teach ya all sorts of games. Snap, Go Fish…strip poker – y'know, where you take something off every time you lose a round…"

He winked at Cas, who rolled his eyes.

"You can't help but take any excuse to see me unclothed, Dean."

"So? You're one hot angel."

Dean leaned into Cas' side, pouting. Cas' lips were twitching in an effort to conceal a smile.

"How 'bout a game of Go Fish, sweetheart? Loser of each round takes off a bit of clothing. Overall winner gets to do whatever they want with the loser."

He ran a hand down Cas' stomach, eliciting a violent shiver.

"I – very well, Dean," the visibly flustered angel said. "Prepare to lose."

And lose Dean did. So spectacularly, in fact, that he was sure that Cas had totally cheated and used his mojo to read the cards. But as Cas pounded into him hard and then they later lay tangled together, the angel stroking his hair and trailing gentle kisses along his jaw and throat, Dean found that he was too blissfully fucked out to care.


	96. I Regret Absolutely Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> …I don't even like bananas…
> 
> Yeah, I think it goes without saying that this is NSFW…
> 
> Thanks to Shandere, Umbreon, Hirotashi and Imma_Reddy_Panda for your comments :)

**96\. Choose a random item in the house and find a 'dual' purpose for it**

"Dean, why are you laughing immaturely?"

Still snickering, Dean held up a banana from the bag of fresh fruit that Cas had forced him to buy because the angel 'liked the taste of the molecules in fruit'.

"This," Dean announced, "is the best thing for practicing blowjobs on. At least, that's what Rhonda Hurley told me. I mean, she's also the one who – y'know – yeah –"

"Helped you realise your panty kink?" Cas said dryly. Dean glared at him.

"Shut the fuck up, angel. Only other person I ever told was my 2014 self and he already knew."

"My apologies, Dean." Cas crossed the room. "Allow me to make it up to you."

"No," Dean said sulkily. "You're just gonna suck up to me until I'm too fucked out to care."

"Okay." Cas took the banana from Dean's hands. "I'm going to try this banana. I've never tasted one before and I find myself curious."

A bad feeling began to grow in Dean's gut as Cas peeled the banana. His worst fear was confirmed when Cas slid the banana into his mouth and made a moan that should've been in a fucking porno, _not_ coming from a holy angel of the Lord!

"This is delicious," Cas said, pleased.

"You didn't even take a bite," Dean pointed out with a scowl.

"I'm savouring the taste. Banana molecules taste very nice."

He closed his pretty pink lips around the banana again and let out another moan. Dean gulped, then quickly sat down on the bed so that he could cross his legs and hide his rapidly growing boner. How the hell was he supposed to be okay when his angel was sucking on a dick-like object and making noises that he only made when blowing Dean?

"Cut it out, Cas!" he said in what definitely was _not_ a whine. Cas shot him a look that was far too innocent to actually be innocent.

"Stop what, Dean? Enjoying this piece of fruit?"

"You know exactly what you're fucking doing, you son of a bitch!"

"I did offer to make it up to you. You refused. So I decided that this banana was more deserving of my attention."

Dean's eyes widened and he shifted when Cas took the banana all the way into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks.

"Cas – please – stop that – suck _me_ – give _me_ a blowjob!"

Cas raised an eyebrow, the banana still deep in his mouth. Dean uncrossed his legs so that Cas could see the slight bulge in his jeans.

"Please?"

Dean put on his best pout – no, smoulder. Dean Winchester did _not_ pout! Cas shot him a fondly exasperated look and slid the banana out of his mouth with a wet slurp.

"Very well. If you insist."

In the blink of an eye, the banana was good as new and Cas was looming over Dean with a predatory gleam in his eye.

"I should practice fellatio on penis-shaped objects more often," the angel said thoughtfully, pushing Dean back on the bed. Dean fell back with a grunt and immediately, hands began to unbutton and unzip his jeans. "I didn't know that it aroused you so much."

"Don't go gettin' a big head or anything," Dean said. Cas smirked down at him.

"Of course not, Dean. Putting on an overconfident front is _your_ specialty."

Dean opened his mouth to protest but what came out instead was a yelp as Cas closed those pretty lips around his erect dick. Cas chuckled smugly around the member in his mouth, which only sent vibrations shooting straight through Dean's body and made him groan loudly and throw his head back.

" _Fuck_!"

With his slick tongue and wet mouth and pink lips, Cas quickly reduced Dean to a thrashing mess of cries and whimpers and, "Fuck – son of a bitch – Cas – _Cas_!"

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long for Dean to come; Cas simply swiped little kitten licks up the shaft, then pressed a kiss to the head and flicked his tongue into the slit while closing his lips around the top of the swollen, rock hard cock. With a shout of, " _Ahhhhhh_ , _CAS_!" Dean shot his load down Cas' throat and the angel easily gulped down every last drop without protest.

"Was that good for you, Dean?" Cas asked hoarsely as Dean lay in a quivering heap afterwards. Dean nodded shakily.

"Y-Yeah – lemme –"

Cas swatted his hand away as he tried to undo the angel's slacks.

"No." Cas tucked Dean's dick back into his boxers and buttoned his jeans back up before crawling up the bed and pulling the covers over both of them. "I'm fine, Dean. I don't desire sex at the moment."

"But –"

"I wanted to do that. I wanted to pleasure you and make you feel good. I just don't desire reciprocation at the moment."

He tucked Dean against him in a tight embrace and then leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. Dean made a funny sound upon tasting himself on Cas' lips. God, it was so _hot_ to know that he'd be the only person to ever taste himself in Cas' mouth, or that he'd be the only person to ever leave his taste there in the first place!

"I just want to lie here with you now and hold you. Maybe I will be in the mood later. And then you can return the favour however you like."

Dean shivered, then nuzzled into the crook of Cas' neck and began to leave a trail of small kisses along his throat.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart," he slurred.


	97. Castiel's Fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Okay, so since I'm leaving for the con in two days (even though it's not till Sunday), I thought I should prewrite the rest of the prompts so that I don't miss a day because I don't know what's going to happen in the lead-up to the con (maybe my family will make me – gasp – socialise). It also means that I might consider starting the next prompt fic and publishing on Sunday after the con (which'll end pretty late) – or, if not, Monday as originally intended.
> 
> Thanks to Shandere, Hirotashi, PawneePorpoise, Imma_Reddy_Panda and Shade for your comments :)

**97\. Play a small prank on partner for fun**

"Dean. I bought you a small gift."

Dean raised an eyebrow at the half-finished packet of Oreos that a sheepish Cas was holding out.

"Really?"

"My apologies. I was curious to try them and I found that they tasted quite pleasant."

"Of course you did." Dean rolled his eyes fondly and pulled an Oreo out of the packet. As soon as he took a bite, however, he spat it out and spluttered as he fumbled for the lukewarm coffee next to him to rinse out the taste.

"The fuck?" he choked. Cas grinned widely.

"I also happened to read online that replacing the vanilla filling with toothpaste was a harmless yet entertaining prank, so I decided to try it. Of course, the Oreos that I ate were perfectly normal. I just required a reason to open the packet."

"You – you fucked with _Oreos_?" Dean said in utter betrayal after scarfing the rest of his coffee. "Dude! You just don't do that!"

"But I did."

"You sure you wanna start a prank war? Sammy and I had one years ago on this Tulpa case. I won, of course."

"Funny. I visited Sam to ask for advice on the execution of this prank – he was the one who told me that I had to have a reason for opening the packet – and he was adamant that he won that prank war."

"Course that bitch would tell you he won," Dean muttered. "This means war, sweetheart. Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you just 'cause I cuddle with you."

Still smiling smugly, the angel kissed Dean on the lips.

"I look forward to it, Dean."


	98. Dessert is Served

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Just a rant below to a guest reviewer on ffn that I left in here just because.
> 
> 'To Guest: I'm so sorry if my smut isn't nearly long enough for you and not up to your standards but I've explained throughout the whole story that I'm dealing with my own shit and I can barely get out a chapter on the best of days. Complaints about the writing? Sure, I listen to that and learn. Hell, HallowsEve and her criticism helped me shape the asexuality arc earlier in the fic. But please don't complain that it isn't long enough. Okay? I've got other shit to deal with in real life and I still force myself to make time for these. Long ones like 69 happen when I have the time and I'm in the mood, and short ones happen when I'm pressed for time or when I sit there staring at the screen for literally an hour before vomiting up whatever crap comes to mind just so that people have a daily prompt. Complaining about the length makes me feel like it's not good enough. And half the time, I know it's shitty and too short.
> 
> But I am glad that you're enjoying the fic. And I apologise if I sounded like a grade-A bitch. But as I said, personal shit. Today has not been a good day. Also, please log in next time so that I can answer you without taking up everyone else's time.'
> 
> Seriously. If you're on ffn, where PM is an option, at least have the decency to log in and not be a coward so that I can reply privately.
> 
> Thanks to SophiaWhoLock, Jo_Winchester, Hirotashi, Shandere and Umbreon for your comments :)

**98\. Leave a trail of clothes from the door to the bedroom**

When Dean opened the door to their motel room, the first thing he noticed was a familiar white shirt and blue tie laying crumpled on their ground. Frowning, he crouched down to pick them up.

"Cas? Why's your shirt on the floor?" he called.

"Because I left it there," came Cas' smooth reply. Spotting Cas' suit jacket a few steps away, he crawled over to it and then looked up as he rounded the small wall separating the room entrance from the rest of the room. His jaw dropped.

On the bed was Cas, stark naked and spread eagled with a small smile on his face. His smile grew wider upon seeing Dean.

"Hello, Dean."

"C-Cas? What –"

"I grew bored waiting for you to return after eating dinner, so I decided to surprise you. Is this to your liking?"

His mouth still hanging open and his head fuzzy, Dean approached the bed.

"You're –?"

"I'm sure, Dean. I wouldn't have offered myself like this if I wasn't certain that I wanted it."

Dean studied Cas for any sign that he was lying and wasn't into this. Satisfied with what he found, he knelt on the bed and swung a leg over Cas' waist.

"You're too good to me, sweetheart," he said, brushing the hair back from Cas' forehead. "Would've been happy with just pie for dessert, y'know. But no, I get a Castiel instead."

Cas shivered and let out a laugh as Dean's hand trailed down his face, before Dean leaned down for a kiss.

"I'm sure that I'm far more delicious than pie."

"Better than pie? That's gonna be a tough call, angel. I'm gonna have to make sure. I'm sure you understand."

Cas' smile widened, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Of course, Dean."


	99. Aquabatics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> I tried to update last night but our friend's Internet was so crappy that it's a wonder I got onto ffn...
> 
> Protip: never drive the Princes Freeway - or any other freeway - as a learner driver from a small town. I mean, I did only have four near mental breakdowns and only nearly burst into tears twice, so I suppose that counts for something...
> 
> But I'm in Melbourne now, so all that's left is to wait till the con!
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, MellQueenOfHell, Sadolive, Shandere, Shannon_Kind, Hirotashi, chloepatra, Hayley, LokiNeedsHugs and PawneePorpoise for your comments :)

**99\. Go swimming and have fun**

Eyes locked on target, he was a shark, sleekly slipping through the water towards his prey. Just a bit further…he was nearly there…

"If you're planning on dragging me underwater, I would advise against it," Cas said suddenly in an almost bored voice. "I am an angel. Even if I allowed you to 'catch me by surprise', my retaliation would be worse."

Dean scowled and crossed his arms.

"You're no fun, angel."

Cas turned around and smiled at Dean.

"I can be fun when I wish to be."

Before Dean knew what was going on, he was shoved underwater and held there for a few seconds – long enough to be a proper dunking but not long enough to trigger any horrible memories. When he resurfaced, spluttering and gulping in air, Cas smiled sweetly at him.

"Was that fun, Dean?"

"Fuck you," Dean panted. Still smiling innocently, Cas slid his arms around Dean's neck and lifted his legs so that he was floating in the water and could wrap them around Dean's waist.

"I wouldn't advise that in this water. It may be clean enough to swim in but I don't think that having sex in it would be a good idea."

Dean snorted as he grabbed Cas' ass to hold him. With a cheeky smirk, he squeezed and snickered when Cas jumped and his legs tightened their grip in response.

"Pity. I always wondered what water sex would be like."

Cas rolled his eyes fondly.

"You're too adventurous for your own good."

"Sweetheart, that's my best quality."

"Yes, I suppose it is. One is never bored around you."

"So, is that a yes for water sex?"

Cas' breath hitched as Dean began to kiss and nibble down his throat. The next second, Dean broke away and coughed in disgust.

"Actually, let's not. If this water tastes that foul, I don't want it up my ass or anywhere near it. Or up your ass, too."

"I could use my grace."

"Nope, that's turned me off. That's a no for water sex."

Cas just laughed and leaned in to kiss Dean, running his fingers through Dean's wet hair. His mouth didn't taste nearly as horrible as his neck – either he was using his mojo or he hadn't gotten any water in his mouth – and Dean was perfectly content to just stand in the water with his octopus-like angel, making out with him until his arms and legs got tired.


	100. The Age of Technology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> Fun fact: only maybe five people I know possess knowledge of my fanfiction handles and the sort of stuff I write (*COUGH gay porn COUGH*). Of those people, I only know two irl. So yeah…complete strangers know my writing better than actual people I know XD But NO WAY is my mother EVER going to find out what I write so long as I can help it. I NEARLY let slip to her that I wrote gay BDSM once but I'm so glad I didn't…I can imagine that conversation now…
> 
> *shudders*
> 
> Also, I may or may not have opened my laptop with a smol toddler around and have gay kissing fan art come up. WHOOPS.
> 
> Thanks to Sablesilverrain for your comment :)

**100\. Text love messages**

' _U want nythin?'_ Dean texted before shooting the line ahead of him a foul look. Why'd he have to pick the one diner with a line bigger than the Great Wall of China? When his phone buzzed, he looked down and grinned at it.

' _I would like you to use proper grammar and spelling but I know that this is a lost cause.'_

"Asshole," Dean mumbled fondly.

' _U no u luv me sweetheart.'_

' _Yes, I believe I do. More than I can tell you in a simple cellular message.'_

Dean refused to admit that those words filled him with war fuzziness.

' _Quit bein a sap angel.'_

' _No. You know how much I enjoy showering you with love.'_

' _Ill hit u.'_

' _No, you'll kiss me.'_

' _Tru. Wen this line stops bein so long.'_

' _I can't wait.'_


	101. NOTE

Hey, y'all! Just letting you know that there's one more chapter to this and the ONLY reason I haven't updated today is because we've been busy catching up with friends we haven't seen in six years and now I have to get some sleep for an early start with the con! This will NOT be a regular thing and we'll be back to daily updates on Monday!

Thanks for understanding and for being the coolest readers I could ask for! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to die and TRY to sleep because I'll be meeting the guys in less than twelve hours!


	102. Say It Like You Mean It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
> 
> …I don't know what to say. I live posted the whole day and my photo ops on the page I help admin on Facebook (www.facebook.com/Destiel-542085329250320/) but all I can say is…
> 
> Misha. Winked. And. Grinned. At. Me.
> 
> It was during the platinum panel, where the twenty of us or so with platinum tickets sat at three small tables and the six guys came around in rotation, and I was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO Mark Sheppard and listening to him talk about queer rights (because he is BEAUTIFUL like that) and I was looking around absently because I was a little overwhelmed and Misha caught me looking at him and he winked and then grinned widely at me and I DIED.
> 
> I love him so much. Like, not in a romantic or sexual way. I just love him with every fibre of my being and meeting him has only made it WORSE. But I can confirm that his eyes are as blue in real life as they are in pictures.
> 
> Also, that pic on Facebook with the #AHBL7 tag where Misha says if he could have anything from set he would pick Jensen, the trench coat and the Impala? The girl next to me asked that. So I can confirm that he is probably the biggest shipper out there because we weren't allowed to ask about ships and he made it shippy XD
> 
> Okay, onto the actual fic. I'd like to say a massive thank you to everybody who stuck with me through this fic. It's kinda sad that I'm ending it, just like with 'Moments', but there WILL be another hundred days of Destiel! It'll be starting tomorrow – and believe me, I WILL be writing because I have to shake these post con blues SOMEHOW.
> 
> Thanks to Jo_Winchester, Umbreon, Shannon_Kind, tkdgrl223, Hirotashi, Shandere, KMB, Imma_Reddy_Panda, 0ShadowPrincess0, thatfreak13 and Sadolive for your comments :) And a HUGE thank you to EVERYONE who has commented – I'd list you all if I wasn't running on minimal sleep and two days overdue a prompt XD

 

**101\. Have a ridiculous night where anything goes so long as it's silly**

"…so I told Sammy that he could shove it up his ass!" Dean chortled, taking another sip of beer. Cas laughed quietly. "Seriously, man? Have a beer!"

"Why? I can't grow 'tipsy' as you have and this night is supposed to be 'ridiculous'."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"You're adorable when you do the air quotes, sweetheart," he grinned, slipping an arm around Cas and kissing him sloppily on the cheek. Cas' lips twitched.

"So, what happened next?"

Dean launched into the next part of the story but all he could focus on was the angel sitting next to him, blue eyes fixed on him so intensely that he couldn't believe that Cas was actually taking an interest in his shitty stories.

Cas was just so…perfect. Not just because of his scruffy black hair and bright blue eyes – which were his in a way that they hadn't been Jimmy's when Jimmy had been in control, and Dean was certain he'd be able to tell Cas just by this sort of thing alone – but because he was just… _him_. From the way he didn't understand most references, to the way he could always make Dean feel like he was worth something with just a word or even a look, to just the way he had picked Dean out of all the other cooler people he could've had – people who could love him the way he deserved and actually fucking _say_ so.

"…and Sam gave me one of his bitch faces so I threw my jacket at him and got him square in the face and goddammit Cas, stop giving me that adorable look 'cause I already love you so fucking much and that's just gonna drive me crazy –"

"You what?" Cas said quietly. Dean froze, his mouth open as his fuzzy brain finally registered what had just come out of his mouth.

"I – did I just – son of a bitch –"

But the widest smile that Dean had ever seen spread across Cas' face and his jumbled words melted in his mouth.

"I knew that you would be able to say it one day, Dean! I – this feeling of happiness – I've never felt it so strongly before –"

"I – I…love you," Dean mumbled. He let out a shaky laugh and looked up at Cas. "I love you. I love you. Dammit, I love you!"

He tackled a laughing Cas to the bed and began to pepper his angel's face with wet kisses.

"I finally said it! I love you so fucking much, angel!"

Cas was laughing louder than Dean had ever heard him laugh before as he wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him down for a giddy kiss. And Dean was getting so fucking high off his angel's joy!

"I love you too, Dean," Cas said, inhaling sharply but still laughing when Dean began to nibble down his jaw and throat. They were far from the neatest kisses but Dean was still high off finally being able to tell his angel that he loved him and he was sure he made up for it in enthusiasm. "So very much. And I'm so glad that you could finally reply in kind."

Dean pulled back to just take Cas in; to just drink in his beauty. His face split in a wide grin again as blazing heat scorched his insides and he reached out to brush the messy hair out of Cas' blue eyes and then gently caress his face.

"I love you, Dean."

"Love you too, Cas. So fucking much."

-FIN-

"It's about freaking time!"

God shut down His computer and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Two years! Two years it took that asshole to tell Cas! He's lucky I set up that whole 'free will' package…"

But He was happy. Castiel and Dean were finally happy – well, as happy as two messed up people could be – and now He could back off with the subtle scenario building (though even He was pleasantly surprised at how they'd risen to each one. Characterisation could be wonderful at times).

But He still wanted to write. What to do…what to do…

"Well, Sam's still miserable and alone," He mumbled to himself. "And he sorta had something going on with – yeah, gotta love subtext. Nothing ever actually happened but I'm sure he had a soft spot…"

He heaved himself to his feet gracefully. Time to go wading through primordial energy. But he couldn't let Dean have happiness and not Sam. And his son _had_ followed orders and tried to defend humanity in the end. Really, what sort of an absent father would he be if he didn't reward Gabriel?


End file.
